A Piece of her World
by victori-yesplz
Summary: Another child for Cory and Topanga was a surprise, but a child with special needs was an unexpected challenge. Through raising their 'special needs' child, the Matthews' and Maya learn that they are more than just an important piece of her world.
1. Chapter 1

The third and final Matthews child was a surprise to everyone, not just the expectant parents but to Riley and Auggie who up until that moment, had not expected for their worlds to change, but grew accustomed to the news of the latest arrival. But what flipped their lives the most; their small daughter Phoebe was special needs and the family together had to learn to be patient on a level that she could understand.

"Hey Phoebe." Maya smiled as she and Riley walked into the kitchen for an eight o'clock dinner.

Phoebe stared blankly at Maya, afraid to speak or even react despite Maya being around everyday since she had been born, and becoming a literal part of their family. Phoebe had widened her big brown eyes and curled her lips in a nervous scowl, narrowing her eyes and stepping back, grabbing onto the bottom of Topanga's cardigan.

Phoebe was diagnosed with Selective Mutism and Anxiety in result to being mildly autistic, and she was afraid to speak to more than just her mother and sister, choosing selectively on whom she would talk to due to social anxiety. Cory and Topanga had tried for years and at the point when they had lost hope, right before her third birthday, concerned with her poor social skills, they had taken her to see a therapist who suggested teaching the child sign language.

"Say, 'Hi' to Maya." Topanga looks down to Phoebe, showing her the sign for 'Hi'.

Phoebe cowers behind her mother, silently begging her to pick her up and leave the room. Maya smiles and shrugs, turning around to sit down at the table for dinner. Topanga lifted Phoebe into her booster chair and handed her a spoon, the chubby cheeked child lazily scooping potatoes onto it before completely missing her face. Instead, she played with the potatoes, squishing the white flakes between her fingers.

"Phoebs, food is for your tummy." Cory reminds her gently, wiping her face.

"Mom and Dad, Maya and I want to propose something to you." Riley boldly announces, clapping her hands together.

Riley and Maya exchange excited smiles, Maya pulling out her poster board from under the table with the plan the two had sketched out earlier.

"Riley and I wanted to take a family road trip together this summer!" Maya announces.

Cory and Topanga exchange looks while Auggie jumps up onto his knees in his chair, excitedly chanting as she looks at the girls.

"Girls, we don't know. With your sister's anxiety from being away from home."

"C'mon mom!" Riley whines.

"C'mon Mrs. Matthews." Maya whines.

Cory shrugs, feeling slightly sided with the idea of taking a trip, seeing the world with the girls as a learning experience. Topanga on the other hand was hesitant to take Phoebe, her first real trip from home.

"We'll think about it." Cory looks at Topanga for approval.

"So in other words, no." Maya grumbles and Riley groans.

"Maybe." Topanga assures them as she finishes her bite.

Topanga stands, dreading to set her plate in the sink and announce the ever dreaded bathtime to Phoebe, but calmly helps the child down, grabbing her hand and walking her into the other room.

"Phoebe, do you wanna go play with your toys in the bath?" Topanga coaxes her.

Instantly the child bursts into tears, looking up at her mother with fearful and tear filled eyes, her mouth wide as she flailed her body to the ground, laying flat on her face as she sulked, furious sobs shaking her entire body. Calmly, Topanga lifted her to her feet, holding her arms gently yet tightly to the child's body and making firm eye contact with her.

"Calm hands, calm body." She repeats firmly to the child before grabbing her hands and walking her up the stairs.

Phoebe quietly and obediently followed, her sniffles loud but her tears not in sight, as she walked her droopy and exhausted body up the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

_Topanga had sat on the toilet seat lid, nervously bouncing her knees as she waited next to the counter, staring over her shoulder to look at the test, waiting impatiently and she anxiously stared at it as she waited for the vertical line or two, to appear. Cory was expected home any minute, and upon arriving, ran into the bedroom, knocking on their bathroom door and popping in, sweat visible on his upper lip._

" _Cory, what would we do? There's no way this could happen again! We were careful! We aren't ready for this! Maybe someday, but not today!" Topanga anxiously rambled._

 _Cory sits on the edge of the tub next to the toilet, turning his body to angle it towards Topanga and took her hands in his. Tension leaves her body as she smiles back at him, comforted by the warm and firm grip of his chalky hands, dirty from a long day's work, and when he got home he made sure to slip away from Riley's sight, hopeful that the long and silent ride home hadn't made her suspicious._

" _Whatever happens, if you're pregnant, then this baby was meant to be a part of our world. The one we wanted for ourselves and our children."_

 _Topanga nods, exhaling loudly as her hands tremble in Cory's, and waits for her approval before turning around to look at the test. Two, very faint vertical lines are painted in the window of the plastic stick, matching the similar picture on the box._

" _Pregnant Cory; That means I'm pregnant." Fear trembles in her soft voice._

" _Yeah, it does babe." He smiles as he lifts her eyes to meet his._

 _He brushes the matted hair from her face and kisses her on the forehead, wrapping his arms gently around her as she sinks limply into his arms, closing her eyes as she takes deep and calm breaths._

" _I love you." Her voice wavers._

" _This new baby is gonna fit just fine into our family, our world." He assures her._

 **XXX**

Maya and Riley sat cross-legged in the infamous bay window, preparing for another heart to heart conversation, Maya sitting closer to Riley than usual, putting her arm around Riley as her shoulders shake from the sobs she loudly emitted. The two had just snuck out of the living room, Riley barely able to hold back the tears stinging her eyes, biting the inside of her cheek to avoid bursting in front of either of her parents.

Riley was never this afraid to speak to her parents, but ever since her troubles at school earlier that day, she had wanted to do nothing more than avoid her family.

"Maya, they're terrible. Phoebe's so innocent and clueless to her condition, it's not fair for them to pick on her or even my family!"

"Phoebe is the biggest blessing to this family! Even before she came along, you guys are a tight knit family, and have made room for me and Phoebe. We're all loose stitches holding each other together."

"That still doesn't change how everyone else views us. They act like we're a bunch of freaks."

Maya smiles sympathetically as she turns her body more towards Riley, grabbing Riley's hands in hers and staring intensely into her eyes reassuringly.

"Isn't everyone a little crazy? Isn't that what makes us human, or even special? Everyone's definition of what makes someone unique is different, and unfortunately sometimes it's not always gonna be nice or accepted by others." Maya smirks.

"Why can't they just understand that we can't control what happens?" Riley groans.

"The only thing you change is how you act in front of others, changing how they perceive you as a person, and how you handle matters. But if they see it doesn't bother you, and you show them there's nothing wrong with being different or having a different lifestyle…"

Maya waits for Riley to catch onto her messages, pausing rather than finishing her sentence, waiting for her to pick up and finish what she was meaning to say.

"People will think better of us?" Riley asks, perking up enthusiastically.

"All i'm saying is that you need to be a better example for cruel people. Show them how to be a light in this dark world." Maya smiles reassuringly.

Riley and Maya hear a faint, childlike giggle from around the corner of Riley's doorframe. They see a small and chubby face stretched into a happy smile, her face gleaming and her teeth showing in her widened mouth, like she had just heard the funniest joke of her life.

"Phoebe, what are you doing? Were you listening?" Maya teases, and begins to stand.

Phoebe turns, making a mad dash for the door, but not before Riley and Maya team up on her, Riley blocking the stairs as Maya went for her waist and stomach, tickling the small child with the pads of her fingers. But rather than falling to the floor, Phoebe began to scream, flailing her arms out and trying to remove herself from Maya's hold, Maya flinching and stepping back, taken by surprise.

"No!" Phoebe wailed before floor, hugging her arms around Riley's legs, clinging tightly.

Maya looks apologetically at Riley and she nods, Riley knowing that it wasn't Maya's fault. Phoebe had a sensory disorder where at times she would freak out at anything that clung to her skin too tight or even something slightly uncomfortable touching it. Riley couldn't pinpoint what it was about Maya tickling her that set her off, if it was the surprise of it, or if she was having an off day, or maybe it was where she was tickled.

Phoebe had her good days and her bad, where some days she would forget her shyness toward Maya, usually more when Riley was around, and would voluntarily sit beside Maya on Riley's bed, or Maya and Riley would practice her fine motor skills with her, helping her pick up small pieces of her puzzles, putting them back in the slot in which they belonged.

"Sorry Phoebs." Maya apologizes, running her hand over her back in soothing circles.

Phoebe shook as she calmed down, looking wide eyed at Maya, and the fear and tension slowly left her body, forcing a sheepish smile from the child, the first one she had shown all day.

Earlier that morning Topanga had needed to run to the store, grabbing her purse and coat off of the coat rack by the front door and looked down at Phoebe, playing with Riley on the couch. Topanga knew that the next task for her wouldn't be easy, but it needed to be done.

"Phoebe baby, are you ready to come to the store with momma?" Topanga asked gently.

Phoebe looked up and glanced at Riley as she smiled back, helping her from the couch and leading her to the coat rack. Riley stands on her toes, reaching for Phoebe's small coat and pulling it down before handing it to her mother.

"No," Phoebe quietly mutters.

"Look, your sister is wearing one and so is momma. Can you please try and put it on?" Topanga coaxes, easing her one sleeve onto her arm.

The touch of her soft jacket was too much for the child and instantly she wailed, drawing her arm quickly from the sleeve and sitting on the floor, crying at her mother's feet. Topanga drew a breath in, trying to stay patient with the overwhelmed child and she looked firmly to the ground, making direct eye contact with Phoebe, despite her darting her shameful eyes from her mother's stare.

"Phoebe, we're gonna count to three together, take a deep breath, and when we let all the air go, we're gonna pretend that all our fears were blown away. Can you do that?"

Phoebe sulks as she glares up at her mother, her body shaking as she slowly nods, hesitantly following her mother's directions.

"One...two, blow!" Topanga coaches her and together all three of them blow.

Topanga laughs, lifting Phoebe to her feet before introducing the jacket toward the girl once again.

"Can we try and wear your coat?"

"No," Phoebe replies hesitantly.

"What if you could wear your favorite sweatshirt instead? Would you like that?"

"No?" She replies again, this time as more of a question.

"What if you wear your jacket over it so you can't feel it touching you?" She tries to compromise.

Phoebe pauses to consider her mother's offer, slowly nodding and Topanga sends Riley to grab the child's favorite pink sweatshirt, the oversized article of clothing loosely fitting over her small frame.

"Better?" Riley asked and Phoebe nodded.

Topanga sighed relieved as the difficult and recurring task of trying to get Phoebe out the door was once again eased. She knew it never was gonna be easy, but it wasn't gonna be impossible.

 **XXX**

 _Topanga vividly remembered the look on the distraught Auggie's face as she had sat him, Riley, and Maya down the day she and Cory announced the pregnancy to the children, knowing that it wouldn't be an easy adjustment to the family, but was doable with the loving and warm welcoming family the baby would be born into, one who believed that family wasn't just blood, but those who want you in their lives, and it became apparent to Cory and Topanga that this baby was just that someone, fitting into the family just as Maya had._

" _Mrs. and Mr. Matthews, what's this about? You're scaring me." Maya asks suspiciously._

" _I knew it, we're getting that dog we wanted!" Auggie jumps up and Topanga shakes her head as Cory sits Auggie back down._

" _We're definitely adding to this family, just not with a pet." Topanga informs them with a smirk on her face._

" _Dad, she's scaring me! I mean, this isn't a baby announcement or anything, right?" Riley rambles nervously._

" _What's wrong with that?" Cory implied, hinting in his voice._

" _Knew it from the day I heard you vomiting through the bathroom walls. Congratulations!" Maya waves her hand up proudly before hugging Topanga._

 _Riley didn't know how to respond, feeling both happy and anxiety of the idea of having a new member, and the worry of outgrowing their home for the family of four for over thirteen years. Auggie however, jumped up onto his father's lap, studying his mother's stomach._

" _So that baby is gonna be your new baby?" He asks curiously, unsure if this meant he was being replaced, but still by no means felt threatened._

" _Of course not Auggie, you're always gonna be my baby, but not in the same way this new baby will be. Baby is your nickname the same as it was for Riley and as it's gonna be for the one in my tummy." Topanga explains._

" _And the baby is gonna be an actual small 'baby' baby. Not like Ava's dolls, this baby will be more fragile. He or she won't be able to take care of themselves." Cory adds._

 _Topanga suddenly concerned with her daughter's abnormal silence, looked over to see Maya whispering to Riley, and Riley stared wide eyed, horror in her face._

" _That's how they deliver them?" Riley exclaims._

" _Well the stork definitely didn't bring you." Maya informs her sarcastically._

" _Girls, what are you thinking?" Topanga wonders, amused._

" _Maya just ruined my childhood." Riley groaned and Maya laughed._

" _Don't worry Mrs. Matthews, she already knew the story about the storks was juvenile. She's too old for that. Know she really knows how their born. "_

" _But Auggie wasn't, so thanks for that." Cory glared to the innocent boy._

" _Dad, I'm this many! Of course the stork doesn't bring the baby! Mommy carries it." Auggie informs him, holding up the fingers on his left hand._

" _Then the Nuns deliver the babies to your doorsteps." Maya informs him and Topanga sighs relieved._

 _Topanga and Cory later collapse on their bed, and Topanga threw her arm over her eyes, exhausted from the seemingly never ending waves of sickness she was feeling._

" _Cory, she's a brave and smart girl, but are we really ready for this?"_

" _She'll adjust in time, just give her a chance. The world is full of surprises, and this baby is changing everyone's around, for the best of course." Cory promises._

 _Topanga reaches her left arm out to Cory and he rubbed small circles with his thumb around the top of her hand, soothingly grasping it in order to comfort the overwhelmed mother._

" _She's learning Cory; And this change is only for the best." She reassures herself._


	3. Chapter 3

Phoebe's first day of preschool would never go as planned, and Topanga and Cory spent the entire weekend leading up to it worrying over the inevitable. She had to go, learn to make friends and communicate with others, but the guilt and anxiety of sending her to a place where the kids could potentially be cruel and knowing that she might be behind the kids mentally, only added to their worries.

"Cory, she's gonna have a major meltdown! We can't put her through this!" Topanga whimpered.

"She's got to learn to be with others in order for her communication to become improved." He assures her.

"But there's no way in a preschool full of kids that they'll be able to meet her needs. She requires a little more attention than the rest."

"Babe, she's gonna do fine! For all we know she might actually adjust quite well. Riley and Auggie did fine, and hopefully will she. And they have special education aids to help who know more than we probably could."

Topanga stares back at Cory in the mirror behind her, smiling as she felt his comforting and firm hands on her shoulders before wrapping her in a hug. He kisses her on the side of her face, and she blushes, brushing him off as she finished removing the last knot in her hair with her brush.

"She may have different needs than our other two, but that's what makes her special. I just hope she finds friends that understand and see her as a person, not someone who they think is 'strange'. Kids can be so cruel, even if it's out of innocent curiosity." She informs him.

Cory glances at the clock on the bathroom wall right above the light switch and flings his jacket around his shoulders, making a dash for the door immediately after kissing Topanga goodbye another time. He brushes past Auggie and Riley in the kitchen, and greeting Maya who was on her way in.

"Well Phoebe, it's gonna be a big day for the both of us." Topanga turned to the child on her bed, feeling the bittersweet moment every mother felt before taking their kids to their first day of school.

Only this was different; Phoebe had things other kids would find strange or tease her for, such as her nervous ticks of shaking her head or the rapid blinking of her eyes when she was confused or thinking. There was no doubt in the Matthews' minds that Phoebe was capable and intelligent, but her disability hindered the little girl's ability to communicate, and the family could only imagine the frustration she would feel.

Topanga kneeled next to her daughter, watching as Phoebe played with her shoes that she had shaken off of her feet, and clapped the two bottoms together. She was content, and it broke her mother's heart to think that they were just minutes away from the struggle of the tantrum to come.

Tantrums were never acceptable, Riley and Auggie both disciplined in appropriate ways for inappropriate behavior, but with Phoebe, using the same disciplinary methods would not work, patience being the key to calming the child.

"Phoebe, remember how mommy told you that throwing fits are not okay? How they upset people around you? You don't want that do you?"

Topanga squats down to eye level with her daughter, firmly holding the child's hands as she looked her strictly in the eyes, trying to comfort her enough to maintain eye contact.

"No momma." She responds obediently.

"You wouldn't want the other little girls and boys to think you're mean. We treat everyone kindly, right?"

"Yes mommy." She replies again.

"Hugs?" Topanga asks before scooping the thin child into her arms and squeezing her.

Phoebe stood in the classroom window, wailing on the floor with tears in her eyes as she heartbrokenly watches her mother turn the corner, fearfully watching as her mother left her sight, fearing never seeing her again, despite being reminded and comforted by her mother various times that she would be back in the afternoon.

"When momma?" Phoebe had asked for the fifth time in a row.

"When the long hand is pointing toward the number three." She reminded her.

Topanga had kissed her on the cheek before leading her into the classroom, introducing her to first the teacher of the class and then the aid that would help her during the day. Mrs. Waltz extended her hand, shaking Phoebe's gently with the most friendly smile Phoebe had ever seen, her eyes shining and smiling themselves. Phoebe had been behind her mother's legs, and slowly she had extended a shy hand, before her mother gently nudged her forward, forcing her to face her teacher for the first time.

"It's nice to meet you, Phoebe! Ms. Feuler will be here to help you if you need anything, as well as me." Mrs. Waltz smiled, trying to make her as comfortable as possible.

"I'm here to color pictures with you, would you like that?" Ms. Feuler extended a hand, reaching for Phoebe's hand as she pulled her over to the coloring station in order to distract her from her mother and it had worked; for a short time anyway.

Now the child lay distraught against the coarse carpet threads, her face turning red as the fibers of the rug made imprints on her face, and the salty tears burned her already sore face. Ms. Feuler left her to be by herself, crying until she felt calm, knowing the child's selective mutism made it more difficult to try and communicate, but trust and respect had to be established though it would take time.

 **-XXX-**

" _Mrs. Matthews?"_ An unfamiliar sounded through the phone.

"This is she…" Topanga's voice quivered, sensing the fear in the other caller's voice.

" _We have Phoebe at Children's hospital. There was an incident at school..."_ The voice trails off as panic flooded Topanga's head with the worst possible thoughts.

Topanga thanked the caller and quickly hung up, shutting down her desktop computer and rolling her chair out as she flung her purse over her shoulder. She dug through her bag looking for her phone, frantically calling Cory as she left the law firm and unlocked her car. Upon arriving she found the preschool aid alongside Phoebe, a goose egg sized lump, purple and throbbing, swollen on her forehead, in the corner right above her left eye.

"She grew frightened when the children tried to interact and banged her head purposefully on the table." Ms. Feuler explains.

Behavioral problems were not new for Phoebe, and in the past whenever she would grow frightened in a social situation, or frustrated at her inability to communicate clearly or be understood, she would express her feelings in inappropriate and physical ways, sometimes harmful to herself. She knew that Phoebe wasn't a bad child, and her inabilities sometimes made the child react in ways that she could express through actions to make up for her lack of speech. But never once did Topanga grow less patient or angry with the child, and would calmly take Phoebe on her lap, wrapping her arms around the child and breathing deeply with her, teaching her to exhale in order to feel calm.

Topanga and Riley were the few people Phoebe could actually communicate, her selective mutism putting a strain on her family as they struggled to push her out of her comfort zone, and Cory, Auggie, and sometimes Maya would work together to get the child to open up to others, but she wouldn't have it.

Phoebe had only grown to take a liking on Maya in the last few months, not talking to her a lot but willing to play, and up until then only able to whisper back and forth comfortably with her mother and sister, Cory not taking offense knowing that the child did not purposefully resent talking to him.

"Phoebe," Topanga calmly and firmly talks to her.

"We had a talk right before I dropped you off. Is there something that made you feel angry, sad, or scared?" Topanga coaxes.

Phoebe nods, cowering away from the teacher's aid, and leaning forward into her mother's arms, wanting nothing more than the warm hold and vanilla scent of her mother's body holding hers.

"What happened?" Topanga asks again.

Phoebe points to her head, wincing as she poked at the large, purple lump that sat proudly on her forehead. Topanga lowers Phoebe's hand, kissing the lump and running her hand over her head, brushing back the wet and matted hair, messy from the tears that ran through it. She wiped the tears from Phoebe's face as she felt relief flood over her body, overwhelmed with thankfulness that the child hadn't hurt herself any worse.

"Is she okay to leave?" Topanga turns to the doctor.

"Keep an eye on that lump and put some ice on it, she's got a good one there. And if she has any seizures or signs of concussions, bring her back without hesitation." He informs her.

Tension left Phoebe's body as Topanga hugged her, scooping her off the table and hoisting the child onto her hip, and Phoebe instinctively snuggled her pounding head into her mother's shoulder as Topanga sighed, rubbing her back as she carried her out to the car.

 **-XXX-**

" _It's our last, can't it be a surprise this time?" Topanga whines as she stares back at Cory._

" _How can we plan for anything if we don't know what the baby's gonna be?" Cory reminds her._

" _We don't have to buy much more gender involved clothing other than neutral onesies, and diapers don't certainly come made with a specific gender in mind." She begs._

 _The doctor glares at the screen and the parents listen to the soothing sound of their child's heartbeat, calming the nerves Topanga had felt earlier that morning. But the dead silence from the doctor had scared Topanga as she and Cory watched him shake his head and frantically move around._

" _It looks like your baby has very low oxygen and blood levels."_

" _And is there any risks to the baby?" Cory asks._

" _We may need to set up an amniocentesis to test further for disabilities. Lack of oxygen can be dangerous to the baby and lack of such can cause increased chance mental disorders."_

" _What kind of surgery or procedure is that?" Topanga wonders aloud._

" _It's not entirely invasive, but I hate to inform you that there's about a one in three hundred chance of miscarrying." He informs them._

 _Topanga glances up at Cory wide-eyed, and her mouth falls open, her jaw relaxing almost literally on her chest. Cory squeezes her hand, rubbing circles on her back with his free hand, smiling down at his frightened wife._

" _We don't need the procedure; No thank-you." He informs him with certainty in his voice._

" _Cory…" Topanga warns._

" _What about knowing if our child has a disability would change for us or how we felt? Sometimes when we're presented challenges, we should take them. And having a child with special needs wouldn't make him or her any different to us. We would love them just the same." Cory reassures her._

 _Topanga sighs, smiling up at her husband and nodding as she turned to the doctor, then back to Cory._

" _As a mother, I never stop worrying about my kids, and if he or she does have needs, I'd like to prepare to accommodate them. I'd like to be ready for the challenge to present itself. It certainly wouldn't change the fact, but it would make me feel better knowing how to love this child."_

" _I'll leave it up to you two to schedule one if you decide you want one."_

 _As the doctor leaves Topanga turns to the corner to get herself redressed, pulling back on her stretchy runners capris, and pulling a sweatshirt over her tank, preparing to go back out into the somewhat unusually warm February afternoon._

" _Topanga, why are you turned around? Don't you remember that I'm part of the process of this baby?" He jokingly smirks._

" _I'll laugh when you agree with me that we need further testing." She doesn't smile back._

" _I can't Topanga! Not with the risks! But I'm willing to compromise and agree to not knowing the gender of the baby." He fakes a grin._

" _I thought we already established that we didn't want to know." She replies._

 _Cory wraps his arms around Topanga, kissing her on the side of the head as he looks down at her enlarged baby bump, disbelief that his child, his new piece of his world, who soon be forever a piece of their world, or more rather of hers._

" _Whatever happens, he or she will be okay, and so will our family." Cory reassures her, as they walk hand in hand out of the office._

 _Tension leaves her body as she smiles still unsure at him, wanting to trust that things will be okay but afraid to how their family will adjust. She knew Riley and Auggie would be accepting of the new child, but how difficult would things for their baby be? They knew that it wouldn't matter, this child had a purpose in this world, created greatly by God, and they were willing to accept any challenges coming their way._

 **-XXX-**

"Mom?!" Riley cries, panic in her voice.

Riley had walked into Phoebe's room, finding her flailing her limp limbs on the floor, her head bouncing against the carpet as her body shook, her tongue flopping outside of her mouth as her eyes rolled in the back of her head. Riley immediately ran over to her sister, rolling her onto her side to avoid her from potentially biting her tongue to shreds, and held her hand beneath her head to sooth the shaking. Maya was right behind her, nervously biting her nails as she waited for Topanga to find them.

Upon entering the room, Topanga called for her husband as she knelt down next to Phoebe, trying to remain calm for the sake of her children. Cory knew that any seizure lasting more than a few minutes should be examined, but the large bump that was slowly fading off his child's face from a few days before was the culprit, the blow to the head causing swelling to occur.

"Riles, can you and Maya take care of Auggie when he gets home from Ava's?" Cory asks as he scoops Phoebe's now quiet and still body from the floor, propping her onto his shoulder and Topanga followed.

"Mr. Matthews, c'mon!" Maya groaned and Riley nudged her, burning her a look.

"Sure dad." The brunette 'goody-goody' replied obediently.

The hour after they left had been filled with anxiety for both girls, Riley's more obvious as she paced nervously in her room and Maya sat, watching her from the window, and motioning for her to sit down.

"I'm scared Maya, what if something serious happened?"

"It only lasted about thirty seconds, whatever happened, it had to be because of her head injury. There is nothing severely wrong with your sister, I promise." Maya reassures her, putting her arm around Riley as she exhales and sits next to her friend.

Riley pulls her arm a couple inches up her sleeves, stretching the end of the shirt over her fist before wiping her tears with the soft fabric, and Maya pulls away her hand, wiping her tears with her thumb before smiling back at her.

"Riley Matthews, don't you know who's world you're in?"

"What?" Riley asks confused.

"To Phoebe, you're a huge piece of her world! Take control, and show your sister that she doesn't have to be seen as different as long as she's being herself. You're upset because you think people treat her differently, right?"

"Well, i'm upset because the seizure was caused by an injury which was caused by her feeling over-stimulated in preschool."

"The main cause of the reason we're here, exactly. If you're sister wasn't special needs, your family wouldn't have any reason to lean on each other other than the fact that you're a family. And Phoebe's disability is that loose stitch in your family that everyone works together to keep you guys from falling apart."

"And i'm supposed to help my sister find out who she is in her world?"

"Just help her create her own world where she isn't worried about what anyone else says, or thinks. And help yourselves as a family accept the fact that that can't change and Phoebe may be stuck in her own little world forever."

Riley smiles as she leans into Maya, and at the exact moment the two hear the downstairs door slam and the faint voice of her younger brother entering and walking around the kitchen, obviously not concerned with the fact that he thought he was the only other person home.

"Auggie? Is that mom's birthday cake for tonight?" Riley consults him as she jumps the last step.

"What! I thought no one else was home." He defends less than innocently, throwing the tinfoil that covered the pan to the floor, startled.

"Your thoughts were way wrong, little Mister! Your mom and dad left me in charge about an hour ago." Maya informs him.

Riley points to the couch, gesturing him to sit before taking one beside him. He busied himself with the straw on his juice box, struggling to puncture a hole in the cardboard top before it being whisked from him by Riley, gently pushing it into the tinfoil hole and smiling as she handed it back to him.

"Auggie, Phoebe went to the hospital with mom and dad." Riley announces finally.

"Is she alright?" He asks with half-hearted concerned, most of his attention still fixed on his juice box.

"I don't know Auggie, no promises." Riley strokes her brother's crazy, curly brown hair back.

The three children each fell asleep in different parts of the living room, Auggie on the soft carpet beneath the wooden coffee table and Riley and Maya laid on either end of the couch, the girls legs tangled onto each others as they rolled to their backs, finding a position that wasn't so uncomfortable, but wouldn't fall asleep in, doing so anyways.

 **-XXX-**

" _Cory, we haven't picked out any names yet, and I'm already due in a month or so!" Topanga looks up from her baby book, frustration welling up over her._

" _We've discussed some."_

" _Okay, i'm not naming my son Farkle Jr." She laughs._

" _It could be a girl…"_

" _Oh goodness, for our sake I hope so! We can let him down easier that way." She teases._

 _Cory leans over onto his wife's shoulder, who was leaning against the headboard of their bed, flipping pages forward and back, looking for the name that felt like it clicked._

" _What works well with 'Matthews'?" She pondered, tapping a pen against her thick and full lips._

" _How about 'Maisie Matthews'." Cory suggests, pointing to the name, highlighted earlier by his teenage daughter._

" _You know I don't like the sound of double lettered names. Besides, we don't even know if it's gonna be a girl." Topanga gently reminds him._

" _Um… Tate, Benji, Gabe…" He begins to ramble off._

" _We're looking for more unique boys' names, like Auggie's." Topanga insists._

" _Luca Matthews for a boy, and Eden for a girl? Is that 'Unique'?" Cory infers._

" _Or Aris? That's a name, right?"_

" _Yeah, if the baby was gonna be an animal, like a cat or something." Cory teases her and she nudges him in agreeance._

" _Toby Matthews, um...Laikyn Matthews, um…" Cory tries again._

" _Okay, so maybe knowing what the baby was would be more helpful." She laughs._

" _You think? These names might be too weird, even for us. I don't even like some of the ones i'm suggesting."_

" _Well, I kind of had hoped like the other two, that the moment I see this baby that it would click." She admits._

" _You knew what you were having then, Besides, this time you wanted something to looks forward to, especially with your last. Stick to your gut, Topanga." He encourages her._

" _I don't know Cory, maybe we should find out, then just keep it between us."_

" _It would be fun to tease the kids and accept any wild baby names." Cory laughs._

" _So is that what you want?"_

" _Why not." He sighs, smiling boldly._


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey Sweetface." Maya gently called in order not to overwhelm the exhausted child.

She looked miserable and tired, her chubby cheeks forming into a frown, the corners of her mouth pointing downwards, drooping toward the floor. Phoebe had walked in, her blanket over her shoulder as she bit down onto her left thumb between her thick lips, much like her mother's. She wearily rubbed her eyes with her free hand then reached up for her mother's as Topanga walked her into the living room, hoisting her up on her lap as they sat.

Phoebe wasn't yet potty trained, the small child being too stubborn to sit on the toilet, and her sensory issues caused an overwhelming concern and anxiety to her, the feeling of the smooth and cold toilet seat uncomfortable, and the water that would splash up from the bowl whenever she would try and go 'number two', would startle her, causing her to jump up and run, sometimes finishing her business on the bathroom floor.

These past few years hadn't been easy, but Topanga wanted Phoebe to learn to clearly convey in conversations with her and sometimes on her own, teaching her sign language in order for the child to be able to still communicate, without having to use too many words at first. But as they slowly weaned her, teaching her the words and making her say them along with the signs on her own, they saw little improvement, (though they knew she was capable), in their child's language development.

As Phoebe weakly snuggles into her mother's embrace, burying her head in Topanga's shoulder, hiding her face from the overwhelming feeling of readjusting back to home life, never an easy transition after any long stay away from home, Phoebe always coming back overstimulated, and the long three nights spent trying to soothe the child back into her routine, each of the members of her family staying patient despite the lack of sleep they would endure.

Cory went to work in his office as Topanga prepared the kids dinner, everyone leaving space for Phoebe to cool off after a long night of being poked and having her personal bubble be invaded by nurses. She had been overstimulated, to the point where having one more person even make eye contact her would send her over the edge, a meltdown taking place as tears streamed down her face, and her mother and dad had spent over three hours during the late night into the wee morning trying to calm her, rocking her back and forth as they sat beside her on the bed, calmly talking to her and whispering into her ear.

"Deep breaths Phoebe." Her father instructed.

"Remember, calm body." Her mother added, chanting quietly into her ears.

Phoebe had cried herself limp, reaching the point of exhaustion where she just collapsed into her mother's arms, sighing softly as she slept snugly in her mother's hold, and her father followed, falling asleep soundly and as comfortable as he could get in the hardwood, cushioned seated chair.

"Girls, it's time for dinner." Topanga calls, looking into the other room.

"Mrs. Matthews, do you want us to wake Phoebe?" Maya asks uncertain.

"Goodness no! She had a long night and I intend to, or at least wish for some sleep tonight."

Riley and Maya take a seat at the table beside Auggie and Cory, their mother serving them the potatoes and turkey with a side of avocado, applesauce or pork n' beans, Phoebe's favorites. Phoebe had developed sensitivities to certain food textures, screaming at the taste of gooey banana on her tongue, or the thickness of peanut butter glueing her mouth together by the roof of it .

If the Matthews had to eat the same food repeatedly from then on they would, just to see their tiny daughter happy, and avoid watching the heartbreak of meltdowns, so be it. Even Maya herself had learned to help Phoebe as a normal part of her life, treating her no different than the others but learning to communicate on her level of understanding, even picking up some sign language she knew best along the way. Maya fit right in as a member of the family.

This particular night, as Phoebe settled back down and adjusted to being around just family again, she wanted to do nothing but cuddle once she was awake, nuzzling her head into her sister's shoulder and arm as Riley snugly wrapped her arm around her sister, rubbing a soothing hand on the child's back as she let her lay there, soaking in the time her sister would actually let her snuggle, a very rare occurrence with Phoebe. Riley didn't push Phoebe to talk or move, letting her take in her surroundings and calm down first.

It warmed Topanga's heart to see her two daughters sleeping together on the couch, her worries of her daughter's never having a normal relationship subsided as she adored the way her oldest held her youngest lovingly in her arms, an excellent role model for the younger child to look up to.

 **-XXX-**

" _Mom?" Riley asked upon entering the room, seeing her mother hunched over the kitchen counter, swaying her hips from side to side._

" _Hey baby." Topanga looked up and smiled, acting as if just seconds before she wasn't having a painful contraction._

" _Where's dad? Shouldn't you call him?" Riley wondered._

" _Why would we do that?" She smiled nonchalantly and Riley looked suspiciously back._

 _Riley grabs her mother's elbow, hooking her arm around it as she led her into the living room, and set her gently to lay on the couch as she exhaled deeply, trying to remain calm in front of her daughter._

" _Look honey, I'm happy you care so much, but it could be hours before we're ready to have this baby." Her mother informs her._

" _How long does this last?"_

" _A lifetime; I'm gonna forget this baby's name before I forget the pain of labor." Her mother groaned, slightly amused at the truth of it all._

 _Maya walked casually through the front door, overlooking Topanga until Riley ran up to her and startled her out of her thoughts, shaking her and pointing to her mother, and Maya's jaw dropped, look with concern at her 'other' mother._

" _You okay, Mrs. Matthews? You don't look so hot." Maya remarks._

" _I'm fine, thank-you. But the last thing I need are distractions, so can you please go somewhere else?" She begs politely._

 _As they begin to head up the stairs, Topanga raises her hand, motioning the girls back._

" _And girls… Please lock the doors so Ava can't come back in." She informs them, rubbing her hands over her stomach as she winced at another sharp pain._

 _Just a few weeks before, Topanga had felt her loving daughter's hand searching curiously over her enlarged belly, feeling for her baby sister or brother's small and firm kicks beating against her mother's inside. When she had felt it she lit up, smiling back excitedly at her mother in disbelief, something she felt like she hadn't experienced before._

" _That's the baby?" Riley exclaims in excitement._

" _He or she does this a lot when I'm not doing much. A roll or a flip is probably what you were feeling. The baby does this a lot more often, and sometime I wince a little, but it's amazing being able to feel the life in you." Topanga informs her._

" _It's their own little world in there." Riley smiles, amused by it all._

 _Now almost a few weeks later Topanga lay, breathing and exhaling deeply through the contractions, grasping on to her loving daughter's hand while the waited for her father to return home._

" _Mom, I can't stand to see you like this; I'm staying with you." Riley smiles reassuringly._

 _Upon arriving home, Cory Matthews took a long and concerned look at his wife as she looked back in disbelief, waiting for him to respond appropriately to the situation, given he's done it twice already._

" _Cory, it's time; Grab my bags." She groans._

 _Cory, Topanga and the kids, along with Maya, all file into their family minivan, the girls in the middle row seats and Auggie sleeping soundly across the back seats despite the given situation. Topanga breaths deeply, exhaling through another sharp contraction, now only five minutes apart, a two minute change from a few hours before, and a certain sign that the baby could be here soon._

 _Upon seeing her mother exhale through yet another pain, Riley reaches her hands over the sides of the passenger seat, throwing her arms and hands over Topanga's shoulders, grabbing for her mother's hands._

" _We're here mom."_

" _Yeah, you're doing great Mrs. Matthews."_

 _Topanga lays her seat partially back, carefully not to pinch Riley's legs between the back of her chair and the seat of her own. She rests her eyes before she would endure another contraction, anxiously waiting as she expected it to come, but six minutes later, she had not one._

" _Cory, something's wrong. I'm bleeding." She leans over and whispers, panic in her voice, while also trying not to startle the girls in the back._

 _The girls sit side by side on the small blue couch in the waiting room, Maya hanging upside down with her feet propped on the back of the couch, reaching over the back of it and Riley wrung her small and fidgety hands together, puffing out her cheeks as she bit down on each side._

" _Maya, did something with my mom seem, off?" She turns to her._

 _Maya brushes her long blonde hair from her face, glaring up worriedly with a look Riley recognized with all familiarity, her blue eyes swollen with angst._

" _She's having a baby Riley, she's in pain." Maya tries to brush off, hiding the fact that she too was scared._

 _Meanwhile, Topanga grasped Cory's hand with all the strength and tension in her body, surprising Cory with a hold he never knew she could emit. He stood by her side for hours upon hours, talking her through her contractions only when she wanted him to, mostly silence to her request._

" _Mrs. Matthews, there's an obvious risk of infection twenty-four hours of your water being broken, if you don't have the baby soon, we have no choice but to do a c-section." The doctor informs her._

" _No, I wanna go all natural my last time." She replies stubbornly._

 _Looking over to the clock on the wall, the big hand points to the ten, and the sky outside shows the accuracy, the bright city lights being blocked out by the thick curtains._

" _Uhn…" Topanga groans, turning to her side._

" _You can do this babe; You can bring this child into our world." He coaches, pushing back her hair from her sweaty forehead._

 _For the time, after almost five hours of labor, her fastest one yet, she felt hopeless, helpless and greatly exhausted, but with any ounce of courage she could muster up, she held on tightly to Cory's hand, determined._

" _Let's bring this baby into the world." She reassures him bravely, confidence in her voice._

 **-XXX-**

"Phoebe Eleanor Matthews!" Cory scolds before calling Topanga into the room.

Upon entering, Topanga finds shreds of tissue paper from their present decor closet ripped into long and thin pieces scattered around the room. Topanga's mouth hangs open and frustration wells up inside of her, but she knew the same punishments she would have used on Riley and Auggie would not work on this child, the two needing to come up with different approach to discipline with a special needs child, in a way to teach her to learn from her mistakes without putting her down or shaming her, and giving her a punishment she could comprehend.

"Phoebe, that was very naughty!" Cory signs 'Naughty' to her, knowing her vocabulary was very limited and she couldn't really defend her actions, though she knew they were wrong.

"Phoebe," Topanga kneels to her level.

"You know Mommy and Daddy are very disappointed, and we're gonna have to take away a toy." Topanga informs her.

Phoebe frowns on the verge of tears, turning her head from her mother and sniffling, darting her eyes away from any potential eye contact with her mother or father.

"Can you sign you're sorry?" Topanga demands, waiting for her to do it on her own but she didn't.

"Phoebe, if you're not ready to sign that you're sorry, mommy's gonna have to put you in the naughty little girl's chair." Cory warns her.

As Cory reaches out, she begins to kick and scream, thrusting herself from his arms, attempting to break his hold around her, failing to do so as she sobbed limply in his arms, looking for any sympathy, but he wouldn't look at her, ignoring the tantrum.

Topanga and Cory knew how to handle discipline and never believed in spanking, or anything other than a firm and gentle approach, believing that their children would be more respectful and better respected if they were talked to on their own age level, not talked down on, being given age appropriate punishments.

Phoebe threw herself from the chair, staying on the floor as she dared not to leave the corner, but hoping for attention that would get her taken out of it, but no such luck as Cory stuck to his guts. He whisked Topanga from the room, the two leaving her to cry it out for her own sake of learning to cope, and warned the children from acknowledging her in anyway.

"She'll learn that throwing a tantrum is not a positive way of getting attention if we don't give her any." Cory warned.

"She's gonna tire herself out if we let her, but she has to learn herself that this is not acceptable behavior." Topanga adds.

Riley looks heartbroken at her parents as she glanced around the stairs, watching as her sister's body shook frustrated against the floor. She inhaled her sobs, choking on her furious tears. She wailed, a look of distraught on her face and her eyes widened, looking for even the least bit of sympathy anyone could give her, her own little non-verbal cry for help.

"Dad, isn't anger how she expresses herself since she can't really talk?" Riley asks.

"We're trying to help with her skills by teaching her to communicate better with her words, not having fits to express herself; Encouraging her to use her words in order to us Riley, we know what's best, we promise."

Riley sighs, leaning into her father for reassurance, and he puts his arm around her, squeezing her shoulder as he smiles down at her.

"She's learning Riley. We all need to be patient because these things take time." He reassures her.

"Dad, mental health issues don't just go away. We were presented a beautiful challenge dad, and we're going to have to accept." She reminds him.

"Yeah, but we can help correct her inappropriate behavior through guidance of helping her better understand her feelings. Things don't always get easier,but better as you get better at handling them. But with your sister, it's always gonna be a challenge. Reality is harsh." He warns.

 **-XXX-**

 _They lay her bare and bloody across her mother's exposed chest, Topanga's instincts immediately telling her to coddle the healthy, seven pound baby in her arms, hugging her tightly against her as tears streamed down her face, the bittersweet moment of knowing that this tiny child was finally and forever hers, and at least her family filled her heart to the max, feeling completion with this tiny, nameless child in which she and Cory admired._

 _It hadn't been an easy sixteen hour road to delivery, but everything fell into place, Topanga naturally delivering the youngest and last Matthews child. She was beyond exhausted, but the energy from the room around her, trying to stay focused on the excitement of having a newborn and having her two youngest children along with Maya, being able to meet their new sibling._

" _Here she is…" Topanga coos as her children look in awe at their new sibling, doting over her._

 _The children's faces' light up as they approach the baby, Riley taking her new sister from her mother's arms as Maya stared over her, the loving faces on each of the kids faces' making Topanga's heart melt._

" _She's so tiny, and perfectly made." Riley gushes, grabbing for her sister's hand._

" _We're out numbered!" Auggie cries and Topanga laughs._

" _Sorry buddy, it looks like it's gonna be just you and daddy." Topanga strokes his curls back from his pouting face._

" _I'm with you buddy. And guess what? We can't exactly change the baby's gender." Cory jokes._

 _Topanga turns to a quiet Maya, blankly staring at the child, no expression on her face as she watches Riley gush over her new sister, paying no attention to her surroundings and she babbled on about how cute her new sister was and how much she loved her._

" _Maya?" Topanga calls her from her thoughts and Maya jumps startled._

" _Did you want to hold her? You're part of this family you know." Cory smiles as he coaxes her toward the baby._

" _What did you decide to name her?" Maya asks curiously, shifting uncomfortably on her tired feet._

" _Phoebe." Topanga replies proudly and the girls lovingly repeat the name in awe._

" _Phoebe, you're lucky that you're not caught in the storm of life quite yet. But you'll know soon enough, if you create a world that you want to live in, bad things won't seem to matter when you find your place. God created you to be a light, little one." Maya whispers._

" _Maya, you're our family, and that someone she's gonna love greatly. Family isn't just blood, it's the people who you want around in your life and who will positively bring you up. Do you know how many times when you were little that I was the one around wiping up yours and Riley's scraped knees?" Topanga smiles._

 _Maya looks up and smiles sheepishly at Topanga, surprised that she heard her small talk to Phoebe, and then returns her glare to Phoebe, rocking her in her arms._

" _Welcome to the world, Sweet-face." Maya blushes._


	5. Chapter 5

Topanga and Cory sit on the coffee table in front of the couch, Maya and Riley sitting just inches from each other, excitedly holding hands as the middle of the couch sinks under their uneven weight being distributed in just the middle. Riley's face is lit brighter than the lights of the city, anxiously biting the insides of her cheeks, waiting for the news she and Maya had hoped for for months now.

"You're father and I did some serious searching, and we decided that it would be not only to your benefit, but also to your sister's development to go on a six day trip as a family. Maya, we already cleared it with your mother, and it's a given that you're coming too?" Topanga announces to them both.

"Where are we going?" Riley jumps onto her knees excitedly, leaning into Maya as she wraps her arms around her friend.

"We want to stop or go to places that will be both educational…"

"I'm disgusted at how you're ruining this already, Matthews." Maya mutters under her breath, as Riley groans loudly.

"And hands on, that actually have meaning to see. Museums, hands-on activities, zoos."

"Ugh, Mrs. Matthews." Maya groans.

"And… we're staying in a beach house at our last stop on day three, Florida."

"We're staying in Nana and Grandpa's beach home?" Riley exclaims in excited disbelief.

Maya grabs Riley's arm, pulling her back down on the couch as she smiles gratefully at the Matthews.

"When are we leaving?"

"Sunday after church, so get your stuff together." Cory demands.

Squealing, the girls pull each other into an excited hug, and Riley makes a dash toward her parents, hugging them simultaneously, squeezing them together.

"Thank-you!" Riley exclaims.

"We want a chance for you girls to explore outside of just your own little bubble. We wanted you to be able to see things that could have value…"

"Enough with the learning Matthews!" Maya groans jokingly and Riley nudges her.

 **-XXX-**

 _By the time Phoebe was a few months of age, Topanga and Cory had already began to notice that something about Phoebe, more specifically her development, was off. She couldn't focus to make eye contact, her eyes always somewhere else other than connected to others contact, and she didn't respond to her father the same way she would when her mother would hold her._

 _At six months of age, Phoebe flat out refused to look anyone in the eyes, always darting her eyes from other's stares, her space glares always making her look like she was somewhere else, lost in thought. The fact that she did not make bubbles with her mouth or wouldn't babble like most of her peers were doing concerned the parents, only being worsened by the fact that her mother moving within three feet of the child's sight would cause her to scream, unable to console her until her trust was regained._

 _Topanga and Cory tried to brush off their worries, figuring she was just behind the rest, and the eye contact issue being nothing but stubbornness, or maybe she couldn't focus if she tried. They took her to many appointments and found fluid was building up in her left ear, but other than slight hearing problems, they found nothing abnormal and suggested starting sign language in order to enhance her speech development._

" _Phoebe, do you want some nana's?" Topanga signed one morning while attempting to feed her solids for the third time that week._

 _Topanga smashed up the bananas into gush, soft enough for it to smoothly glide down her throat without much effort, and without to much mush in her mouth. Upon spooning a small teaspoon in her mouth, Phoebe began to wail, bananas falling out of her mouth and mixing with her tears and drool, messily running over her mouth and tray, effortlessly spitting out the yellow and sticky substance._

" _Cory, she screams every time she eats something of certain texture! I'm never going to get her to eat normally! We can't breastfeed her forever!" Topanga grows concerned._

" _You can't force foods on her, you have to slowly introduce them! Try starting with peas, potatoes, baby cereal, foods that are soft and easy to swallow."_

" _So why wouldn't she eat bananas?" Topanga wondered aloud._

" _You're worried over nothing. It's just a phase or something, some kids don't like certain textures right away, you can't force them on her."_

 _Topanga sets down her spoon and small, plastic green baby bowl and walks over to Cory, leaning into his embrace. He kisses the top of her head before looking down at her, reassuringly._

" _She's gonna be fine." He whispers and Topanga wished she could believe him._

 **-XXX-**

 _Six-year old Maya Hart had crawled through the bay window, pulling herself in as she crouched through it and plopped herself next to her friend, scooting too close for comfort and leaning her head into Riley's shoulder._

" _What's the matter Maya?" Riley worried as she looked over to her friend._

" _He's gone Riley; I didn't know if, when, or even why he would stop caring, but it finally happened." She replies, running her hand across her face to hide the tears._

 _They didn't say much because to Maya, Riley and her family were everything, and her hug was enough. It didn't hide the pain but it made her feel wanted and safe, only temporarily forgetting the pain of just a few minutes before, watching her dad throw his clothes furiously into a suitcase just seconds before the door slammed behind him. It wasn't exactly the easiest thing for a six year old to understand, but she had felt a sense of abandonment at the very least._

 _Her mother had thrown herself to the floor, angrily shaking as she clenched her teeth, sobbing uncontrollably in front of her young and startled only miscarriage that Maya was oblivious to at the time had pushed the two over the edge, Maya's mom's last hope at keeping together an obviously unhappy family._

" _My momma thinks that if my baby sister or brother would have been born that my daddy would've stayed." Maya sadly informs her._

" _This is no one's fault Maya. No one could've predicted or stopped what happened." Cory informs her as he takes a seat between the two._

" _Mr. Matthews, what makes you want to love Mrs. Matthews then, if she's not perfect?"_

" _It's mistakes that make you who you are Maya. And it's such a shame that some people just can't accept them. Imperfections are what make you 'Perfect' to someone, in a sense."_

 _Riley reaches over to grab Maya's hand as she smiles at her, nodding in agreeance with her dad, and her dad smiles proudly at his daughter's effort to be a good friend. It was from that day that Maya was truly a part of the family, and wasn't going to go anywhere from the Matthews' hearts._

 _Now upon entering through the infamous bay window entrance years later, Maya glared around the empty bedroom, only hearing the sound of the Matthews's newest member waiting in her crib next door, through the thin walls of the apartment._

" _Riles?" Maya called._

" _In my parent's room! I'm watching Phoebe for the afternoon." She called._

" _Woah, you look a mess!" Maya exclaims, glancing Riley up and down._

" _She really doesn't like bananas, or squash." Riley groans, throwing herself onto her parent's bed._

 _Riley's hair contained traces of stringy orange and yellow squash, lacing itself through her strands of hair, and banana dripping off the ends of her hair. Maya stifled a laugh, helping wipe some of the substance from her hair with a hand towel she found on the floor, and sat beside her, pulling her into a comforting hug._

" _You don't say? She hates bananas and squash?" Maya remarks sarcastically, glancing around at the mess she had made._

" _I'm trying to help my own sister overcome her fears and grow to like me." Riley whimpers._

" _These things take time, but I promise, she's your sister and someday you'll feel proud at her progress she's made when she's building puzzles with you or willing to snuggle. And when it happens, you'll feel so good!" Maya reassures her._

 _Phoebe's sensitivities made it even more difficult to feed the family, the Matthews willing to try anything or eat the same things repetitively in order to avoid meltdowns. When Auggie at the age of two flat out refused to eat anything hot, Topanga had taken the stubborn child and placed him at the table, watching him intently pick at his food until she took away his beloved Mister Googly, then watching as he shoveled his plate of green beans and tomato soup into his mouth._

 _Topanga didn't stand for pickiness as far as her two oldest kids, but when Phoebe showed signs of sensitivities, Topanga's opinion had to change, knowing it was more of a condition than just irrational stubbornness. She still tried to give her a variety, exploring different tastes, but by the time she was almost a year, she had felt like options were limited and they would need to see a nutritionist._

 _Topanga felt like out of everything she tried, nothing had worked, and the skinny child would only settle for the same few foods along with breast milk. Mixing foods didn't work, as she tried to sneak a banana into applesauce but soon learned she hated the texture of all cold, mushy foods._

 _Along with eating, her speech didn't develop on track and Phoebe would cower from her own brother, father, and Maya or any stranger, selective on who she would talk to or even make eye contact with, screaming in any situation that made her feel unsafe or far from her comfort zone._

 _Phoebe crawled over to her mother as she entered the room, pausing to take in a long look at the mess the girls had made. Phoebe pulls at Topanga's pant legs, reaching up and cuddling herself into her mother, nuzzling her dark, light coat of brown, curly hair into her mother's chin, lowering herself into her mother's cradled arms._

" _Girls, what happened?" She exclaimed._

" _Phoebe has a slight...dislike, toward certain foods and people." Riley answers, tries bring no bad attention to this deal._

" _No big deal? She practically was swimming in her own tears when you tried to…"_

" _Maya, not important." Riley warns._

 _Topanga sighs, setting Phoebe in her pack n' play crib and grabbing towel, wiping the green and yellow stains from the carpet, trying to draw up the stains from the wool fibers._

" _Mom, let me help you."_

" _No, Riley. I can do this." She didn't look up, annoyance in her voice._

 _From that day on, Riley knew some things were going to change in her family. Phoebe had a disability everyone had to learn to adapt to, and the emotional toll it was putting on her parents, watching them heartbroken as they watched Phoebe strive to keep up with others her age._

 **-XXX-**

Maya sneaks in through the bay window, expecting to see Riley snuggled under the covers of her bed, and she tosses her suitcase onto the floor, excitedly jumping of the bench as waiting for Riley to pop up, her brown hair in a mess covering her face.

"Riles?" Maya calls, realizing she was gone.

"In here Maya." She calls from her bedroom closet, tossing out more clothes from their hangers.

"Am I too early? I thought we we're leaving after church."

"Phoebe was up all night and we had no time to finish packing. So we're gonna leave a bit later, but we're still going, I promise." Riley peaks her head out of the closet, reassuringly smiling at her.

Maya paces back and forth, tossing her suitcase on Riley's bed and nervously looking at her feet.

"Um… are your parents up?" Maya clears her throat.

"Yeah, my dad's making breakfast and my mom is packing. Is something wrong?" Riley asks, popping her head out once again.

"No, I just need to make sure everything's alright."

Maya exits and slowly makes her way down the stairs, wringing her hands nervously together as she struggles to keep her feelings together, wishing more than ever that talking to her mom could be as easy as talking to the Matthews. Maya jumps off the last step and shuffles into the kitchen, wrapping her arms around a frazzled and surprised Topanga.

"Hey Maya, are you okay?" Topanga asks in surprise.

"Yeah." She whispers, feeling tension leave her body.

Topanga looks over her shoulder to Cory, who shrugs and then releases Maya on her own terms, sitting her on the couch and tossing the clothes she was folding to the side.

"Maya, what's bothering you? Be honest." Topanga coaxes.

"I've really hurt Riley, and she doesn't even know it yet. I promised i'd never betray her, and i've done just that." She cringes at the thought.

"Maya, you and Riley are best friends, and nothing can come between you."

"Except distance." Maya quietly mutters.

"I think she would be more hurt if you kept whatever this was a secret of her."

Maya plays with her hands, flipping her folded palms back and forth in her hands before bringing her knees to her chest, and wrapping her arms around her legs to keep them up.

"Can things ever go back to the way they were, will life be normal after I tell her?"

"Depends how long it takes you to work it out. But secrets never make anything better Maya." Cory informs her from the kitchen.

"Mrs. Matthews, my mother met a man months ago, and it's apparent how much she loves him. He proposed to her last night and that means we're moving to New Jersey. If we go, I'll break my promise of never leaving her, she'll be crushed."

Maya's tears stream down her face, leaning herself into Topanga's shoulder and feeling her motherly touch on her shoulders, reassuring her that her emotions and fears weren't silly, making her feel as if it was a judgement free zone.

"You see Maya, in life, friends eventually grow up and find their own paths, and sometime distance makes them grow apart. But what you and Riley have is special, and distance is something that I know can't separate what can't be broken, your friendship. The distance may be grow but so will your friendship."

"Unless it's already broken; You can't break something that's already broken. In my case, it's my family. This man is just my mother's safety net."

"Maya, we're not going anywhere, and New York is just a subway ride away."

Hearing an oblivious Riley come down the stairs and into the room was the most terrifying sound for her ears as thoughts flooded in her head and she stuttered on her words. She wiped her tears and turned to look at her, carrying both of their suitcases down the stairs. Maya turns to look back at Topanga and lowers her voice.

"Not before our family road trip Mrs. Matthews. Just can't bring myself to ruin this moment." She whispers and Topanga hugs her one more time.

"Whenever you're ready sweetheart." She whispers back, smiling at the scared child.


	6. Chapter 6

Cory glanced in his rear view mirror, checking behind him to see an exhausted Phoebe, her legs flopping to the side of her car seat as she slept soundly, and both Cory and Topanga were relieved that getting her in the car hadn't been their biggest struggle, but their would be more to come. Phoebe would not sleep as well that night if she over napped during the day, and getting her to readjust in a new place was going to be the most difficult thing with each stop during the entire vacation, Phoebe's behavior just what they had dreaded most.

Maya and Riley resided in the way back, far from her parents as possible, Maya sitting directly behind Phoebe, who was sitting directly behind the driver's side, kicking Cory's seat unconsciously in her sleep. Maya glared out the window with her chin in her hand, tapping her fingers underneath her chin as guilt built up within her, the idea of seeing Riley widen her eyes and her saddened face stare at disbelief in it, puppy-dog tears welling up in her eyes.

"Maya?" Riley whispers as she leans over.

" _Maya…_ " She repeats in a singsong voice, tickling her shoulders with her spider like grasp.

Riley sighs and leans back over, catching her mother's glance in the mirror, looking worriedly at the two teens.

"Cory, I think it's time we make our first stop, just as a break to get out and stretch." She suggests.

When they arrive at the nearest restaurant, Cory carefully driving until he chose one that had an indoor playground, they pulled over and filed out of the car, the kids walking into the play area, Phoebe following hesitantly behind them, reaching up for her sister's hand.

The area was more crowded than it should have been for that time of day, overwhelming noise coming from the tunnels above head, and faint, hollow screams of children coming head first down the slide. Children ran around without shoes, one boy bumping into Riley's leg before scurrying away un-apologetically, and Phoebe cowered ever closer, holding on around Riley's leg.

Riley shakes Phoebe off as she finds a booth, and the four kids sit, waiting for Cory and Topanga to return with their food.

"Auggie? Do you wanna take Phoebe to play?" Riley suggests, wanting to be alone with Maya.

"That's not such a good idea." Auggie points to Phoebe hiding under the table.

"Phoebe, don't you want to go down the slide?" Riley tries to coax her out from underneath the table, leaning down to make eye contact with the fearful child.

Auggie leaves without her, shaking off his shoes to climb up the steps, disappearing into the overhead tunnels. Maya opens a sugar packet and shakes it into her mouth, avoiding Riley's suspicious glare, but as she began to ask her what was wrong, her parents came back with their food.

"Where's your brother and sister?" Cory asks.

"Auggie's playing and Phoebe's, well…"

Riley looks under the table, pointing to her sister who was hugging her legs, and Topanga laughs, kneeling down to talk to Phoebe.

"Don't you want to play with your brother? It's lots of fun up there!" Topanga encourages her and Phoebe shakes her head.

"Alright, I'll leave it up to you, but if you change your mind, you have to let one of us know, okay?" Topanga informs her, and Phoebe nods in understanding.

As the Matthews eat their food, occasionally passing fries to Phoebe who flat out refused to come out from beneath the table, attracting dirty stares from clueless strangers, as she reached her small, filthy hands up from under the table, retrieving a handful of fries at a time. But when Phoebe eventually stopped reaching for fries, Topanga grew concerned, not only the child growing less fidgety, but also never usually got full off of fries, demanding more as she repetitively would sign 'More' to her mother.

"Girls? Did you see Phoebe leave from under this table?" Topanga grows more concerned and the girls shake their heads.

"Auggie, did you see your sister up there before coming to eat?" Cory turns to their youngest son, exploring earlier around the tunnels of the play area.

"Mom, we can go look for her." Riley insists.

Riley pulls Maya from the bench and the two split up, the area in the tunnels not entirely large, but to a lost and clueless three year old who had aimlessly wandered off like she sometimes did without realizing, it worried the two knowing that Phoebe was probably alone.

Maya crawled to the left path, taking the opposite tunnel to Riley as she headed toward the exit to the slide. As she rounded the corner of the pink tube, she saw a small light ahead indicating that she was reaching the end. There she found a distraught and pale faced Phoebe, her thumb sucked into her mouth as she sat near the exit, her knees to her chest, tears streaming down her chubby and blank face.

"Phoebe you silly girl! Did you think we didn't want to take you up here?" Maya teases gently.

Maya scoots toward her, careful enough so that she didn't startle or stress her out anymore, but Maya had grown on Phoebe and on a good day Maya could make physical contact such as an arm around her shoulder or walking hand in hand with her up or down the stairs.

"What do you say we head down the slide together? We missed you at lunch." Maya suggest, trying to comfort her with her arm around the smaller child's shoulder.

Phoebe predictably shakes her head, then unexpectedly leans into Maya, shaking under her arm. Maya looks down and smiles, the heartbreaking realization that Phoebe had felt scared everyday of her life at the unknown, and her fear of telling Riley the truth couldn't be compared. But she knew they both had to be brave in order to grow.

"Phoebs, we're all afraid of things. I'm afraid to tell your sister my secret, and you're afraid of talking to anyone, and I can't imagine how hard that has to be. But just know that when you're creating your own world that you can be anything or do anything as long as you are most importantly, happy being you and making the most of what you want it to be."

Maya sighs as she watches Phoebe stare blankly in front of her, knowing that the speech had just gone over her head, and decided that it was time that the two should leave.

"Riley?" Maya calls in hopes that Riley was still searching inside for them.

Riley crawls through the entrance, taking a look at her best friend and sister, smiling at the two as she knew what to do.

"Phoebe, how about you and Maya ride together, and I catch you at the bottom?"

"No." She mumbles.

"How about I'll meet you at the bottom. You can watch me go down and see how fun it is!" Riley insists and Phoebe hesitantly nods, gingerly reaching for Maya's hand.

Waiting at the bottom and peering back inside, she shouts back up into the slide, waiting for Maya and Phoebe to come. Maya sets Phoebe on her lap, wrapping her arms around Phoebe's waist and holding her tightly against her, looking reassuringly at her as she counts with her. To most people, going down a slide would seem like nothing, but to Phoebe who faced so much anxiety, it was everything.

"Don't worry sweet-face; It seems big and scary now, but there's so much more you'll overcome." Maya whispers.

"Ready Maya?" Riley calls.

"Ready? One… two...push!" Maya prepares, Phoebe pulling her eyelids tightly over her eyes.

As Maya reaches the bottom and flies forward off the slide, Phoebe reaches out her arms as she squints her eyes half open, leaping into her sister's open embrace, and Riley hugs her softly before carrying her back to their table.

"Mom, dad, Phoebe went down the slide!" Riley announces proudly and everyone claps, high-fiving a sheepish and tired Phoebe.

"And...Maybe it's time we go now." Topanga suggests, wrangling the kids together to walk out to their van.

 **-XXX-**

Phoebe stirred in her chair as her head bobbled back and forth every time they hit a jagged or bumpy road, but despite the crazy ride, she slept soundly in her chair, the exhaustion from all the overwhelming stuff that had happened just hours before, and Topanga was surprised that she even slept, an unusual coping method for the small preschooler.

Riley and Maya had fallen asleep as well, but as they both awoke to the sun setting and the cars buzzing by them, Maya had felt a wave of nausea run over her as she struggled to focus, her eyes crossing one image into two.

"Uhn…" She groaned silently.

Little did she know, Phoebe had woke up in a state of confusion and overwhelming dizziness, feeling the fries sit in her stomach in an unsettling way. She gurgled, laying her head to the side and focusing on the trees passing by but shut her eyes tightly again until all ill feelings surpassed.

"Mama!" Phoebe wailed before Topanga turned around, catching just a glimpse of Phoebe hurling over her seat and into her lap, just as she was finishing up.

Phoebe began to cry, her unsettled stomach gurgling and sloshing in discomfort, but feeling as if she was unable to throw-up anymore. Relief soon flooded over her, and all she had wanted from that moment was for her mother to hold her.

"Bumble 'Bea, it's okay! Everyone gets sick sometimes." Topanga tries to console her as Cory pulls off the highway and into the nearest gas station.

As Topanga pulls Phoebe out of her car seat and takes her backpack into the gas station, bringing her into the larger handicapped stalls to clean her up, Phoebe's sickness starts a chain reaction, first Maya jumping out of her seatbelt and leaning out of the opened van door, spraying the pavement in one big gush, then continuing to dry heave over their parking spot.

Riley and Auggie had weak stomachs and the sight of Maya getting sick over the side of their van caused the both of them to be swept with nausea, Auggie strictly just leaning his head back in discomfort, but Riley joined Maya outside the van, both girls getting sick, and Topanga eventually finding an over-dramatic Maya lying on the sidewalk in front of the van.

"Maya? What are you doing?" Topanga exclaims.

"Any will power I had before to get up and keep going, is gone. I'm a hypocrite telling others to keep going when I can't continue our trip like this." She groans, throwing her arm over her eyes to shield them from the setting sun.

Topanga gestures to Riley who just rolls her eyes, shaking her head at her mom as she lifts Maya from the ground.

"She got a little car sick is all." She informs her.

Riley walks Maya back to the van, feeling dizzy herself but helping Maya back in and brushing her hand along her brother's hair in a comforting way as she walked past him, and rebuckled herself.

"Are we good to keep going?" Cory asks, starting the van.

"If you want to drive the rest of the way with the van smelling like a cow barn." Maya groans and Topanga instantly remembers Phoebe's vomit in her seat and the floor in front of her.

After an almost two hour detour which was only intended to take half of that, the Matthews finally were able to pull into their hotel, the whole ordeal of the day still fresh in their minds as the teenage girls jumped into the hotel bed, sweeping the covers over them as they fell fast asleep. Phoebe slept between the girls and Auggie between his parents, lying on their legs at the end, pretending as if he was a dog.

Riley rolls over in the dark room, reaching out over Phoebe to tap Maya on the shoulder, and Maya squints, trying to focus her eyes on the shape of Riley's face, faintly able to make out her features from the faint light outside their room.

"Maya?" Riley whispers.

"Let me sleep." Maya groans.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong! Do you think I haven't noticed that you've been kind of down this entire trip?"

"No…" She brushes off.

"Maya, I heard you talking to Phoebe. As friends, you know you can tell me anything, right?" Riley pushes her.

Cory rolls over in bed, coughing loudly before glaring over at the girls and tapping on the table to get their attention.

"Ladies, do you know what time it is?" He hints.

"Sorry Matthews." Maya mutters before turning over to face the wall.

"Maya, are you okay?" Riley asks again.

"I don't want to talk about this now, in a room full of crabby travelers." She grumbles and Riley sighs.

"Maya, I don't want you feeling like there's anything so bad, that you can't talk to me or my parents 'll understand." Riley pushes again.

"Good night Riley." Maya denies her pleas before shushing her.

"Please tell me you didn't commit a crime!" Riley worries.

"That's a bit extreme Riley. Good Night!" Maya quietly chuckles to herself.

"Night Maya." Riley sighs exasperated.

 **-XXX-**

It hadn't been an easy night for any of the Matthews, after a long eight hour trip in the car and many more places to go all in two days before arriving in Florida, they all felt pathetic in saying that they were ready to end their once lively vacation two days in the making, but Riley insisted despite the lack of sleep they had the night before and the rough first day, that the trip was all about the journey and not the destination, in which Maya rolled her eyes as her parents agreed that it was true.

Phoebe woke up in the earlier hours, wailing as loud as her small lungs would allow, her hoarse voice being muffled slightly by all the tears and snot running down her face. Topanga had grabbed her from her bed, holding Phoebe in her arms as she tried and walked to the bathroom with her, sitting on the toilet lid and rocking her from side to side, making sure the door was closed so that the rest of the family could rest, not that the thin, wooden door could do much to soften the blow of Phoebe's loud cries.

No one could soothe Phoebe, leaving her to helplessly cry herself to exhaustion, being consoled by her mother as she struggled to use her words or even her signs to communicate, and once the small child had her mind made up, she could set herself to cry endlessly for hours, unintentionally being difficult.

Topanga softly hummed in her ear, rubbing soothing circles around Phoebe's back as she tried to calm her, but nothing would seem to work and after years of sleepless nights, the Matthews found that it was easiest for her to cry herself to sleep because once she was in her zone, she would cry for hours on end.

As the last of her tears fell and her tiny body shook softly, sniffing back up the tears as Topanga wiped her nose, and she turned off the light, the small light that shined off the switch serving as a nightlight in the dark room.

"Calm body, deep breaths." Topanga chanted in her ear.

Topanga's eyes grew heavy, struggling to stay open as she herself wanted to collapse onto the bathroom floor, and snuggle her daughter right there. But as a mother, she knew that she was always gonna be there for her children to put their needs ahead of her own, especially her own desire to sleep. So laying a towel beneath Phoebe's head and her own, she snuggled her tightly against her body, rolling onto her side and trying to preserve their body heat being drawn out of them from the cold tile floor. Eventually her breathing became shallow and her shaking stopped, and she curled calmly into her mom, the two finishing the night right where they were.


	7. Chapter 7

"Morning, Mrs. Matthews!" Maya exclaimed in surprise, flicking on the bathroom light unknowingly.

"Please...not now Maya, we've had a rough night." Topanga shushes her, nodding toward Phoebe, sleeping soundly beneath her arm.

"Well, Riley is worried about not having enough time to see everything, and I'm worried about when we're gonna eat breakfast."

"Is this something we can deal with when i'm a little less groggy, and have the energy to actually hold my eyes open?"

Maya sighs, sneaking out of the bathroom as she flicks the light back off, understanding that the Matthews have had to deal with many sleepless nights over the years, and Maya who was not an earlier riser, but found it easy to get out of bed when well rested, learned to brush off the occasional crankiness the family emitted when dealing with a rough night with Phoebe.

"Hey Maya, why don't you and Riley go down to the breakfast bar, and we'll meet you down there in a little while." Cory insists, walking into the bathroom to drape a blanket over his two of his favorite ladies.

An array of breakfast cereals lined the main table following the entrance of the breakfast room, cereal being poured from dispensers into little white foam bowls, and the milk be poured liberally in it, being careful not to make it soggy, but to moisten it enough to still be enjoyable. Following the cereal, lined up with the milk was the juices in their own clear containers, Orange, Grape, Apple and fruit punch, all beautifully and colorfully displayed.

Riley ran immediately to the coffee, holding down the dispensers handle as she watched it stream into her paper cup, then pumping mountains of cream and sugar into it before stirring it in and fastening the lid. The night before had left her and Maya exhausted, only a near three hours of sleep not enough to sustain the day without some kind of coffee boost, or caffeine aid. Maya who typically pumped in much less sugar, shook her head at Riley, trading cups with the quirky brunette, giving her a much more bitter cup.

"Ew, why does this taste so gross?!" Riley exclaims in surprise, squinting her face in pure disgust.

"Because you didn't sprinkle nine pounds of sugar in it to make it taste like unicorns and princesses. This is how real adults drink coffee. " She informs her.

"Then I don't want to grow up." Riley pouts sadly and Maya laughs.

Maya pulls Riley over to a table, nearly spilling Riley's cereal as she trips over her own feet and Maya's hand falls freely into the pool of syrup floating in the squares of her waffles, drenching them and rendering them nearly unedible.

"Maya, life is like putting too much syrup on your waffle…" Riley begins.

"Here we go…" Maya groans.

"Syrup pours out quickly when heated, as do our feelings when we're 'heated' or upset. But when we cool down, we take time our time to tell what's wrong, much like syrup pours slowly when it's cold. But finding that right 'consistency', is difficult to do because we either feel like we could vent, or we're hesitant to pour our feelings out."

"You've been talking to Matthews, haven't you?" Maya smirks.

"My point is, you're drenching yourself in too much worry for whatever is concerning you. It's all pouring out too quickly, yet you're not sharing any of it with me. So I can't help you unless you unless you share with me what's wrong."

Maya groans, avoiding eye contact as she sulked in her chair, crossing her arms across her chest as she contemplated telling Riley,

"Wow, you really are Matthew's kid! Okay Riley, you win; My mom's new guy, he recently proposed." Maya sighs, flailing her arms up in surrender.

"And how do you feel about it?" Riley consoles her.

"It feels like she has time for him, but not for me. She'll give up anything for that man, she's even moving in with him after they get married in June."

"But I thought he lived in New Jers...oh." Riley's heart sinks deep in her chest, her eyes darting from Maya's as she looks to the floor.

"It would only be a train ride away, darling." Maya tries to reassure her, feeling a small lump form in her throat.

"Then I'll go with you! We're literally connected at the hip Maya!" Riley sulks.

"It's not for sure. Who knows, he could take off too." Maya sighs.

"For your sake, I hope not! I want you to be happy, but if this move is gonna change your world, and you're not even sure of change yet..." Riley infers.

"But I'm already sure that this isn't gonna be a good change to grow into. My entire life has been rooted to this very spot, the apartment where my father partially raised me, the window where you guys 'mothered' me, and you and your entire family."

"If you moving means you're not gonna be happy, I can't support it." Riley stubbornly infers.

Maya moves her chair directly to Riley's left, sitting next to her so closely that their two shoulders touched, and Maya laid her head on Riley's, their hands interlocking in a friendly hold, tears streaming down both of their faces' and neither trying to hide them despite being in a room full of at least ten people.

"I love you Maya; You're like the sister we didn't think we'd have but it's apparent that this family needed a few additions, even if one of them wasn't by blood." Riley smiles down at Maya, lifting their hands in front of their faces.

From behind, Topanga, Cory, Auggie and Phoebe come in, Auggie making a dash for the waffles with whipped cream toppings and Topanga behind him, Phoebe hanging desperately on Topanga's left leg as Topanga grabbed a small foam bowl, handing it to Phoebe. Phoebe takes it, unsure of what to do and Topanga shows her how to pour the cereal before lifting her to do it herself.

"What chance did I miss to teach right now?" Cory asks with amusement.

"She's got you covered Matthews." Maya smiles back.

 **-XXX-**

Phoebe screamed for the entire first two hours of their trip before Topanga who took her driving, couldn't take the stop and go traffic with an overly anxious preschooler in the back of their hot minivan, her screaming becoming scratchy as her throat dried, and eventually she just resorted to small wails, choked up and uneven sobs.

"Mrs. Matthews, how much longer?" Maya groaned, looking over her shoulder and wondering how in the world Riley could be sleeping.

"Soon Maya." She informs her, slight annoyance and exhaustion in her voice.

The sun had already set more than an hour ago, the streetlights on the highway reflecting off their faces briefly as they quickly passed by, and Maya could see in the distance, palm trees, and with the windows slightly cracked she could smell the salty and cleansing mist from the ocean, the breeze blowing it over the barriers from the beach just off the exit.

"Welcome to Florida!" Cory exclaims, gesturing to the sign just before their exit.

As they pulled into a peaceful and secluded neighborhood, house that looked similar to each other but were widely spread out, all lining the edge of the beach, just a mile walk down the hill from their backyards. Nana and Grandpa's house was tall and pale, with palm trees lining their porch and beach lights running up and down the walk to the front door. It looked like an average beach home, one that looked like a warm shelter with beachy shingles on the roof, and freshly trimmed dark green grass, bright flowers blooming brightly on the bold front laww.

"Wow, this place make your house look like a real dump." Maya exclaims in awe.

"Yeah, thanks." Cory sarcastically.

Phoebe jumps through the open van door, her feet pounding roughly on the cement as her small footsteps echo around the empty driveway inside the opened garage. Maya walks into the gate alongside Riley, quick to lose her shoes and wriggle her toes beneath the warm, golden sand at the edge of backyard, marking the beginning of the long sandy path to the nearby beach.

"Girls, there are rules to this place." Cory announces before Maya begins to roll her head, groaning in annoyance.

"Firstly, one of us adults must be notified when you're leaving to the beach."

"Dad, we're sixteen." Riley whines, dragging out her sentence for full dramatic effect.

"I think you're father is being more than fair Riley. He originally wanted to have one of us with you at all times, you're welcome for that." Her mother informs her.

Riley looks to Maya and she shrugs, looking from her to Cory, and sighing.

"Sounds fair twinkle-toes." Maya remarks, looking to avoid an argument.

Maya was thankful that the Matthews had even allowed her to tag along, giving her mind a mental break from the stress of living in the city and from the disaster that was her mother. Before leaving, Katy had pulled an old suitcase out from underneath her bed and was scrambling to pack it before she had to catch a subway to work. She was just finishing her last minute packing, preparing to move across the state to move her things to her fiance's house before their wedding in just a few days.

Katy was one to rush into things, Maya knowing it would never work out because dating consumed too much of the time her mother really didn't have, and it saddened Maya no matter how used to her being gone all the time, knowing neither of them had it easy and she often looked for men of financial stability rather than one that actually cared about the fact that she had a daughter.

 _Katy had rolled the squeaky wheels of her suitcase around the house, grumbling furiously to herself as she pulled some boxes under her arms and put her apartment keys in her mouth. She stopped to take a long look at her astonished daughter, heartbroken by the look on her face._

" _You're really doing this, aren't you?" Maya sighs without a doubt or need for reassurance._

" _Sweetheart, it's not like that. I'm trying to do what's best for us as a family."_

" _Wow, you're really no better than dad, are you?" She grumbles._

" _Your father has nothing to do with this. He left us because he was a coward, not ready to raise you and too immature to deal with our differences. He never loved us Maya, and we deserve better."_

 _Maya exhaled loudly, allowing the air to flow freely from her cheeks but her body refused to lose the tension it had tightly clung to. She sat on the area rug, the only thing her mother had not planned to take with her, tracing the zipper of her own suitcase with her index finger. She felt guilty watching her mother scramble to pick up her things in order to get back on her feet, marrying a guy she barely knew for more than four months. And Maya had made up her mind that she was in fact, not leaving Riley. She would instead, live with them, and hopefully with her mother gone, they couldn't say no. But her mother didn't know that she hadn't asked them yet and they didn't know._

" _Be good sweetheart, the Matthews are like your family after all." Her mother had bent down to kiss her gently on the head._

" _That's all she had to say?" Maya wondered aloud as the lasting words stung as they repeated themselves in her head, and the door flew shut behind her mother, leaving nothing but the lonely sound of the fridge humming on the empty brick walls of the house._

Maya dreaded the end of the vacation, anxious to reveal the truth to the entire family, reluctant to drag it out but too worried that if they knew that they would be frustrated at her inconsiderate gesture before coming to accept the facts; Maya's mother didn't really want her either, and she knew it. Maya's mother lied to her, Maya lied to the Matthews, and now, if she didn't reveal the truth, the fact that her mother wasn't really getting married in June but a month rather, she would be send her spiraling in a series of events, stumbling on her feet in the real world.

But would the Matthews really let that happen, or would they be eager to help Maya, despite the lie she had told and the news she would spring on them? She couldn't possibly survive on her own, after all, her mother barely made it with the two of them, and she was half the strong woman her mother thought she was. Just Maya on her own made her feel like she was not just a financial burden, but a heavy weight her mother dragged around, Maya feeling just like the squeaky wheel on her mother's suitcase. So what had compelled her to lie if she knew Riley's family understood her situation. Was she afraid of rejection if she had straight up asked to move in?

"Maya?" Riley called Maya back from her thoughts and Maya jumped, clearly startled as the sand between her fingers flew out of her hands.

"Are you okay?" Riley repeated.

"Yeah, it's just, my mother has never taken me anywhere on vacation because she'd have to work quadruple over time to take us even out of the city. She's never left the city, let alone allowed me to walk anywhere near a beach."

"You've never been to a beach?" Riley scoffs in disbelief.

"I've lived a sheltered life, Matthews. The only contact with sand was in art for our fifth grade sand sculpting contest."

"Oh yeah, Farkle tried to scalp a turtleneck for my princess unicorn." Riley laughs as she draws back the memory.

Maya traces her name into the sand, marking the imprint with her initials, then briskly brushing away the design. Riley quietly and patiently watches, sensing Maya's pain just by watching the expression painted on her face as Maya had so desperately tried to hide it with a blank one.

"See how the water shimmers underneath the sunset? It's so calm and peaceful." Maya coos.

"If only it knew that a single storm could send waves crashing at the shore." Maya adds quietly, sighing as she laid back and shut her eyes, feeling the warmth of the breeze over her.


	8. Chapter 8

Phoebe ran barefoot along the beach, feeling the boiling sand beneath her feet, running through her toes as she giggled, kicking up sand as she clumsily toddled along the soft waves near the shore. Topanga watched in amusement as Cory and Auggie built a castle, only for it to be washed away by the low and quick tide, regret on their faces' as they both realized the bad idea it had been to build one so close to the water.

Riley and Maya lay on their stomachs, facing their backs to the warm glow of the sun, trying to absorb as much color as they could before the unusually gray and cool New York summer stole that from them. Maya's hair glimmered in the light, warming the part of her back it covered, as Riley's hair was tied up, retaining heat to her head and causing moisture from it currently being wet to evaporate almost instantaneously. The weather had definitely been warmer than anticipated, not that any of them minded after all.

It was a sudden scream and a loud thud into the hard, wet sand that had startled everyone from their own activities, Topanga and Cory looking over to find their unattended daughter being swept from the safe shore, soft waves rolling over her. She lay on her stomach with her head up, indicating that she had been just startled at the least, and Topanga rushed over, pulling the child to her feet before swiping the sand from her tongue, and wrapping a soft towel around her small, shivering body.

"Phoebe, you know you weren't supposed to set foot in the water without mommy or daddy." Topanga warns before sitting her on the beach chair beneath their umbrella.

Phoebe juts out her bottom lip, quietly sulking as she pouted with her arms crossed, painting a sour expression on her face. She dangled her feet from the high chair, kicking them back and forth as she slouched down, trying to kick the sand up from the ground.

"Phoebe Eleanor, this is not how big girls behave." Cory scolds before Phoebe began to cry.

"Cory, i'm sure the ocean incident was an accident." Topanga pleas.

"She still was disobedient; One minute of quiet time for each year of her age." Cory begins to set the timer on his phone.

Riley and Maya looked up once again from their stomachs, first to roll over to their backs, distributing the sun and its rays to tan their skin evenly to avoid embarrassing lines. Maya dug her feet into the sand, bringing her knees above her chest as she closed her eyes, feeling the sun through her eyelids.

"Don't you really hate that we eventually have to go back?" She groans.

"Our school's summer festival dance is in two weeks; Weren't you gonna ask Lucas?"

"Why would I do that?" Maya asks incredulously.

"C'mon Maya, you don't think 'Huckleberry' is onto you that you like him?"

"Have I ever done anything that has signified that I do? Mixed Messages?" Maya snaps.

"You practically have a new nickname for him for each day of the week, and what about in Texas when you tried to stop him from riding the bull?" Riley implies.

"Well yeah, who would I tease if Lucas wasn't here? Farkle's too easy to get his goat." She infers.

"Exactly! You could tease anyone you'd want and yet you always choose Lucas." Riley smiles boldly, pleased to make a valid point.

"Guess what? I...Can't...Hear you! Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da!" Maya retorts in her sing-songy voice.

Riley smiles, rolling her eyes in the back of her head as she flips over, pulling her sunglasses over her, and shielding her eyes by pulling her mother's old sunhat over her small and pale face. But what she didn't know, was that Maya had already secretly contemplated asking him long before the subject was even thought of.

"Look Riley, I would if I could, but I can't. How would it be fair if in any possible way, _not_ that i'm implying there is, that we could end up more than friends? It's scary, me leaving and Lucas and life altogether. It's too much right now to even think about July."

"You're mom hasn't left yet, so there's still time."

"Um… well…" Maya sheepishly hesitates.

"Maya? She left didn't she? Tell me she didn't leave you?" Riley infers nervously.

"No; I'm choosing to stay in New York and fly solo."

Maya didn't really believe for a second that Riley would ever allow such a thing and neither would her parents. But if Riley had known of Maya's plan then so would her parents, and she would be forced back to her mother with a small pep talk under her belt. She would be ridiculed with questions and bombarded with scoldings on the foolishness of it all.

"Maya, where could a sixteen year old girl possibly live by herself? And how could your mother allow this?"

What Riley didn't know was that she was falling head first into Maya's scam, inviting her into her home without being aware that _that_ was what she wanted to do all along. If Maya had asked Topanga and Cory, they would have encouraged her to go with her mother, but since she was playing both her mother and the Matthews, she knew her odds of living with them would be greater. After all, if she had discussed it with the Matthew's first, they would have encouraged her to go with her mother; But if her mother 'left' her, the story would bring more sympathy and be believable, the Matthew's welcoming her with open and warm arms into their home.

"You know, this is the least of my worries. My whole life my mom constantly worked to support us and she was never around. She never filled the empty void my father burned in my heart, never talked to me about it other than occasionally venting to herself when things wouldn't go our way. So really, nothing's changing, nothing feels different. My mom's gone as she always is."

Maya nonchalantly answers as she mindlessly sifts sand between her fingers, rubbing them together like sifting pan, watching the smaller grains fall through as the bigger pebbles sat firmly in the creases of her palm and fingers all while fixing her eyes directly on the ocean, watching as the waves lapped the shore.

She refused to fix her eyes to Riley's in fear that she could sense her bluffing. But rather than arguing logic with a stubborn Maya, Riley grabs her hand, shaking the sand from it and slipping her fingers between Maya's. She turns to face her, turning Maya's eyes to meet her gaze, preparing for a pep talk instead.

"Okay, if you think you can do this." Riley encourages.

"Riley, i'm not dumb enough for reverse psychology. Why won't you say it? Why won't you invite me in?" She asks bluntly.

"Because it's not gonna be that easy in life. You're not always gonna have someone that invites you in or that you expect things from. Life's rough and you gotta learn to face it head first, that you can't leave home expecting everything to work out okay. If you really truly had wanted to be on your own, and didn't just expect to be invited in, you never would have brought it up because you wouldn't have wanted me to worry."

"So what you're saying is that you'll let me live with you?" Maya asked hopefully.

"Is that even a question? Why didn't you just come to me first?" Riley assures her, smiling.

Maya secretly longed for a hug, something that would reassure her that she would be okay, that her mom hadn't just run off with some guy she barely knew and only assumed she loved, but wished to be the center of her life again.

"Maya? What would you have done if you just ran away, or if we wouldn't offer to take you in?" Riley implies fearfully.

"Find my father." She shamefully replies, looking down as she felt the lump in her throat sink deeper and tighten.

 **-XXX-**

 _Selective Mutism_ and _Mildly Autistic;_ Those words had sent chills running up her parents' spines as they came to realize that their then, one and a half year old wouldn't be looked at the same by anyone. She would endure years of therapy and encounter lots of bullying from her peers, yet there was no cure and certainly no amount of therapy in the world that could change their hearts cold towards their daughter. What they feared most wasn't the constant visits or their family's ability adapt; It was their daughter's struggle to strive with the rest of the children her age, and it would be painful for them to even begin to imagine what life would bring.

 _Topanga sat on the couch one morning, watching Phoebe next to her as she refused to make eye contact with even the TV, playing 'Sesame Street' in the background as she instead found pleasure in wringing her hands together, pulling and picking at the soft skin, and watching amused as it slowly flattened as she let go of her pinch._

 _Only the worst of thoughts could come to Topanga's head, worrying her as she watched her daughter ignore her playdate, Eloise, who was contently watching the screen as her favorite, 'big bird' appeared on screen to share the letter of the day: "P"._

 _Phoebe could not use her words but rather her actions to illustrate that she hadn't wanted anything to do with Eloise, but selfishly longed for her mother to herself, wishing that they were reading together or sharing her mother's famous cherry pie. But maybe it was only Topanga imagining and hoping that's what Phoebe wanted because quite honestly it was looking like she didn't even notice her little partner next to her until Eloise had reached over, grabbing for Phoebe's doll that sank limply to the floor from her lap._

 _Topanga watched as Phoebe's hand almost instinctively flew out, swatting towards the other girl she grabbed for her doll with her other hand, setting it to her side, just out of Eloise's reach._

" _Phoebe, we share our toys with our playmates." Topanga reminds her in a flat tone, just another instance that Phoebe had not wanted to again coplay with her peers that Topanga did not stand for._

 _Phoebe gingerly handed over her doll, refusing to make actual eye contact with Eloise as she scowled with annoyance at her mother, but it didn't phase Topanga to see her in one of her moods. She wasn't hurt by her daughter's bitterness, knowing that kindness was one of the first and most important things she could teach her children, her older two who took to it with ease, unlike Phoebe. In their hearts they knew Phoebe was not a bad child, but had a lot to learn that even her parents couldn't teach her without the help of cognitive behavioral therapy, but they helped her practice her skills everyday._

" _Thank-you." Eloise had offered with appraisal, smiling at Phoebe as she hugged the doll to her chest and Phoebe only sighed "yes" in disdain for her friend._

 _Topanga sighed as she left the room to start preparing dinner, one that was a simple as mac and cheese, the not-too gooey texture and warm melted cheese satisfying to Phoebe's overly sensitive taste buds and gag reflux._

 _Any and every meal had become as much as a struggle as the next thing, her growing irritability limiting a wide variety of slowly introduced her to something new every week to find something she'd like, and grow her range of foods that would be good for her, and that weren't too difficult to adhere to, something her whole family could enjoy._

 _By the time Phoebe had calmed down enough, just quarter after ten that night, she had blown away three hours attempting to wind down from her day, the young girl never adapting well to busy days or overstimulation. Topanga had sat in their rickety old wooden rocker, one Topanga remembers being rocked in as a toddler by her own grandmother, surrounded by nothing but the faint, distant lights of the city being dimmed by the thin, baby blue and white marble hand-me-down curtains hanging above their window._

 _She whimpered as she felt her mother stare down at her, her eyes half closed as she longed to fall asleep, but her willpower strong, promising to spend the night with the child, though she wished to whisk her to her own bed, teaching the child the art of independence, sleeping in her own bed that Cory had built from the old, finished oak wood crib, the gifted handyman his father had sculpted over the entirety of Topanga's first pregnancy, even engraving, whittling little animals such as sheep into the headboard above the crib. And out of the leftover wood: He had carved out in big, wooden letters, R-I-L-E-Y, in bold, all caps before painting them pink with yellow polka dots, and hanging them over her headboard to match her salmon/peachy, mismatched nursery, the walls color with the intention to have been a very light, easy- on- the- eyes, pink._

 _She remembered the long nights nursing everyone of her three kids, Riley being the most trouble, giving Topanga grief as she had refused to latch at three months of age, nipple confusion being the culprit of stealing these bonding moments away from her and her child, and the fact that Riley had been a bull-headed child._

 _Even after she had long outgrew her crib, and was learning to sleep in her own bed, Topanga didn't let go, snuggly tucking Riley beneath her covers before kissing her atop the head and turning off her lights, standing from the doorway and slightly pulling it shut, as she whispered "I love you like Peanut Butter loves Jelly," and Riley would giggle as she lay awake, wondering how she could possibly top her momma's sayings._

 _Topanga was quick to learn that with Auggie, boys were altogether different, and still Auggie wasn't ready to let go as soon as Riley, refusing to wean until he was one and a half, and the transition to his bed was made easier when Topanga and Cory would tuck him in and turn on his baseball night light , reading him a story in the dim light until he was tired, and most nights sneaking out, carefully closing the door as to make sure it didn't squeak or moan, whispering gently for him to watch out for Mister Googly beside tucked in tightly beside him._

 _Even Maya, who wasn't her own but at the same time felt as if she was, reminded of the times when they both were younger and Maya had constantly led Riley into troublesome situations, one instant where Maya had dared Riley to ride in her brother's wagon down the sloped sidewalk, standing up and steering with the handle. Maya promised to push behind, holding the rear down in case it would flip, but had let go, watching as Riley tumbled into the grass and skid her knees along the rigid pebble piles left over from construction that summer._

 _Riley had been pulled into their apartment by wagon, sobbing as Maya told her to calm down before they both would be in trouble, and lifted her from the wagon, helping her to sit on the couch before grabbing ice, completely unaware that Topanga was eaves dropping from the other room._

" _Wift your knees Wiley; It will help with the ice." Maya instructed her, feeling big as she took on the role of "nurse."_

 _She knew from that day, Maya had the biggest heart and was best for her daughter, her good intentions to help Riley face her fear only going wrong in one instance, watching as Maya loved to help out Riley with mother like instincts. And she was positive that Riley could be a good influence on her as well._

" _Mrs. Matthews!" A young Maya Hart cried as she entered through their front door on the rare occasion._

 _Topanga felt her heart sink as she watched Maya trudge to the kitchen and bury herself into her embrace, and distinctly remembers her body shivering with tears, shaking furiously._

" _Maya, what's happening, Sweetheart?" Topanga motioned her to the couch._

" _I'm scared." She sobs, her voice muffled by Topanga's wool cardigan._

 _Topanga sets Maya on her lap, sweeping her hair from her tear stained face before looking at her in a caring way, tension leaving her body as she was reassured that she had found an adult that she could confide in, security always being found in the Matthew's home._

" _My mom says she's moving in with grandma because momma says that we can't make ends meet." She sulks._

" _Maya, you're mom wants what's best for you. But someone your age shouldn't be worried about whether or not you're gonna make enough to stay where you are. I would say it's very gracious of you grandma to let you stay."_

" _But Mrs. Matthews, I don't want to leave."_

" _I don't think you can decide that Maya." Topanga reminds her gently._

" _Surely you'll let me live with you?" Maya asks, filled with hope._

" _Well, I'm pretty sure your momma would miss you." Topanga smiles._

" _It wouldn't be any different. She's gone when I wake, she's not here to tuck me in. How is it any different if I sneak into Riley's room to sleep, or live here?"_

" _You sneak into Riley's room at night?"_

" _I'm coming from a broken home, woman! You would understand if you needed a break now and then, wouldn't you?" Maya exclaims in her small, sassy voice._

 _Topanga laughs, scooting herself closer to Maya in order to put an arm around her, pulling the child in as her own, and looking down at her with all sincerity._

" _Maya, we love having you around, but we would much rather see you happy than struggling. And you're grandma only lives a few blocks away."_

" _But i'm happy no matter what we're struggling for." Maya insists, and that was when Topanga had realized the point was true; Money couldn't buy happiness, but time with her mom could._

" _That's great and so important. Because no matter what you go through or how often or not you see your mom, it's important that she makes decisions on what's best for you, even if it means working overtime so you can have food on your table, or an occasional new outfit."_

 _Topanga smiles, squeezing the intelligent young Maya into her arms, feeling her heart sink seeing as the girl strived despite what she had gone through in the last year, and she wished she could help her out, though it would be against her better judgement to call her mom out on her decisions, and allowing Maya to move in wouldn't teach her that life doesn't just get handed to you, though she knew their home was Maya's refuge, the escape from the storm, she so called it._

" _I'm gonna miss you Mrs. Matthews."_

" _We all are gonna miss you Maya. But know that distance is only a physical separation, but true friends are can't be separated at the heart. "_

" _It's such a shame that now I have to walk five blocks to your apartment and five fire escapes to crawl through the bay window." She infers._

" _You're only moving five blocks away? Maya, I thought you were leaving the state!" Topanga exclaims in surprise before laughing._


	9. Chapter 9

Topanga had decided that she would stay back with Phoebe, knowing that the hot Florida sun would only cause the child to become more irritable and sensitive, and there was no way that even if she would allow the child to go to the beach with her sister and Maya, that she would ever allow her tight one piece swimsuit to cling snugly to her body. The vinyl like, smooth texture would send her over the edge, Phoebe hating the way the fabric clung to her skin when wet. They've been through it all before, and Topanga even allowed her to run in her diaper, before the child decided that the feel of the foamy water was too much to absorb.

Maya had woken up in a state of confusion, staring blankly at the ceiling as she rolled over and groaned, stretching her limbs above her head and clasping together her hands, waving her arms aimlessly around before rolling over to her stomach, and reaching her legs, trying with all her might to stretch her legs to the edge, hoping for the long legged feeling of her body dangling off the bed; But no such luck, Maya still as short as she had been the day before, and the same height she assumed would be tomorrow, and she sighed.

"Morning Peaches." Riley grins, rubbing her crusty, sleep filled eyes to focus on the blondes distinct features.

Maya jokingly rolls on Riley, flailing her limbs over Riley's as she stretches to her full extent, and Riley laughs, pushing her off.

"Maya, you feel warm." Riley suddenly infers as she reaches over, doing a double take at the heated face she had felt pressed against her body.

"Too much sun, my body's burning." Maya grumbles reassuringly, sleepily laying her head towards Riley's.

Riley climbed from the bed, throwing the blanket off of her sweaty legs before pulling her socks over her feet and shuffling over the wooden floor to open the guest bedroom door, feeling the breeze from the hallway air-conditioning welcoming her with a cool, refreshing blast, fully waking her up as she looks back and calls for Maya.

"Maya? My mom's making pancakes, I can smell them." She calls hopeful, expecting to see Maya pop up from under the covers and hop out of bed, scurrying down the steps.

Maya rubs the sleep from her eyes, slowly yet surely making her way to the edge of the bed to avoid a headrush, scooting her butt until her feet dangled above the floor, and bent down, reaching her short arms to grab her socks and slipping them on, left then right.

"It's too early to be awake and peppy here in Rileytown." Maya groans, resting her head on Riley's shoulder as they make their way side by side down the steps.

"Good morning ladies." Topanga greets them, turning around to acknowledge them as she flipped a pancake without looking.

Phoebe squealed happily, perfectly content with making a mess of her pancakes, her hands glued to the table by her syrup, a mistake Topanga only warned Cory of a million times, and each time she did, she would spend over twenty minutes scrubbing the table and floor, ridding it of Phoebe's editable "sensory game".

It happened many times before this, Phoebe having her ups and downs with certain sticky foods, more specifically, syrup. Phoebe hadn't actually liked to put the syrup in her mouth, it having same effect on her as Peanut Butter, and the first time she ever ate it, Topanga had thought to be her last. But Cory insisted, believing they should explore a variety of foods and textures to expose and allow her to accumulate to, and suggested they put the syrup in a separate dish, and allow her to decide what to do with it, but Topanga only protested, imagining what a mess that could create.

It puzzled both of her parents how one food could differ to another, wondering what could possibly make peanut butter a "no" while playing with syrup could be an okay. Why could she eat Mac and Cheese, but plain cheese, grilled cheese, or string cheese made her gag? Why is it that she loves her sister's soft fleece, petting the fabric up and down with her small hands, and tracing her finger along the edges, but hated wearing one herself, even when it was loose fitting?

They knew there was so much to learn with their special needs child, but were willing and open to anything they could do to possibly understand or help. They were extremely open minded, and bigger hearted folks, the news only blind-siding them briefly before they decided to open their worlds to this child, and teach her that even with limitations, she could build her own world to live, and be accepted by others. They were exceptionally please when their kids took to the diagnosis, open hearted to anything they could do to show love to their new sibling. And it warmed Topanga's heart when she realized how great she had it, a close knit family being tied together with it's final and strongest stitch, Phoebe's diagnosis only strengthening this family. Phoebe to them was never looked upon as a burden, but rather the biggest blessing god had to offer.

"Maya, aren't you gonna eat those?" Riley prys, jabbing her fork towards Maya's stack of buttermilk pancakes, layered with chocolate chips and a pool of syrup.

"I'm working on it." Maya lies, spreading the syrup around with her fork, and watching as it drips off her plate and onto the table.

Phoebe then screeched, biting down at the edge of the table as she kicked the wooden bottom of it, looking to Topanga before her face turned beet red, anger flushing her face, swelling as if it was a freshly picked tomato, or newly filled red ball.

"Phoebe Eleanor," Topanga warned patiently, walking over to scoot the chair out before looking firmly at her. "If you wanted out, you needed to ask politely." She adds, before using the sign for "all done" and waiting for her to repeat.

"Maya?" Riley suddenly gasps, turning her attention from her sister to her now extremely pale friend, hacking over her pancakes, every bit of her face white except her cheeks, rosy red and warm.

Topanga lifts Phoebe from her chair and hoists her on her hip, turning to Maya and rubbing her back as she set her free hand on Maya's back, rubbing soothing circles around it as Maya rests her head on the table. Maya moans, banging her forehead against the cool wooden table, the dampness in the room making her feel sweaty from the humidness coming into the room through the patio.

"Maya honey, why don't you go upstairs to bed." Topanga demands, not taking any excuse Maya had for an answer.

Maya groaned as she trudged up the squeaky carpet stairs, Riley following behind her with her hands propped on Maya's shoulders, massaging them while also holding them there to assure that Maya wouldn't fall down the narrow staircase. Upon approaching the bedroom, Maya rolls over into the bed, kicking the covers away from her legs and arms, the heat being emitted from her neck equivalent to the steam rising from the hot florida driveways all along the block.

It wasn't long before Riley could hear the slam of the upstairs bathroom door, and her retching from inside the walls, vomiting echoing inside the porcelain bowl. Riley opens the door to find Maya lying on the cool tile floor, her head resting on a towel she had balled up beneath her. Her body shook even though she felt hot, and she could swear she felt literal steam rising from her body, warm enough to cook an egg on her forehead.

Riley opened the cabinet and picked out a washcloth, first wetting it with cool water in the sink before wringing it out and placing it on her forehead to soothe her fever. Maya sighs, closing her eyes tight, and Riley closes the blinds on the small circular window above the granite countertop and white, porcelain sink, covered in splotches of untamed water.

"Maya? Why won't you just admit you're too sick! You don't alway have to be the tough girl Maya, I'm here to help you too!" Riley consoles her, kneeling down beside her as Maya wipes her mouth.

Maya looked up from her towel, offering a weak smile as she brushed her untamed and frizzy hair from her eyes, and glanced Riley up and down, pondering her thoughts on what to say, tears streaming down her flushed face, and Riley looks to her with concern.

"Bay window, now!" Riley commands, and Maya, too sick to shake her head, groans as she rolls over to her other side.

"There is no window here Riles, and besides, I'm too sick to even think of leaving this floor." Maya grumbled, pressing her palm to her forehead to get an indication of how sick she really was.

"Maya, this isn't about you being sick. This is about you feeling as if you have to have some kind of persona when something is bothering you by acting like nothing is happening. The Maya I know wouldn't let sickness get her this down. Now, what is it?" Riley firmly demands to know.

"Riley this is ridiculous! I'm sick, can't you see? I don't need to be sick for you to think I'm hiding something!"

Riley stared at Maya's tired face, seeing the exhaustion painted on it as she struggled to argue, her eyes wanting nothing more to close and her body wanting to sleep, but Riley couldn't get over the hunch that something about Maya wasn't right, that she felt like something was bothering her more besides the sickness, and she decided right there to attempt and let it go, watching as Maya's eyes fluttered, longing for some sleep.

"Alright, okay! But promise me if something is going on that you'll talk to me?" Riley asks hopeful.

"You're the first and only one I'd come to for advice." She smiles, rolling over to her stomach and nuzzling her face into the towel.

Riley stood up, gently closing the door behind her as she shut off the bathroom lights, leaving nothing more than the rays of the sun attempting to peek through the beige and dusty blinds above the sink.

"Maya?" She whispers through the door.

"Yeah?" She hears her grumble.

"You're not...pregnant, are you?" Riley teases to see if she was still awake.

"And I suppose that Huckleberry is the father?" She responds sarcastically and Riley laughs, sliding her back against the bathroom door, and resting beside Maya from the outside.

While Riley and Maya took a mid-morning nap, Phoebe had flat out refused to take hers, insisting that she tag along with her brother and father to the playground, and though Topanga hated to refuse Phoebe the opportunity to leave her comfort zone to play at a park full of children, seeing her daughter more open to her father and brother now than before, she knew that she couldn't cave, and that the playground may turn into another disaster as had the beach, and the play area at the restaurant, and the last thing she needed was a crabby, uneasy and overstimulated child.

Cory and Auggie snuck out of the house, leaving when Phoebe was more occupied on getting dressed than what her father and brother were up to. Topanga had encouraged her to sing, teaching her the parts of her face and body as she lifted a short sleeved blouse over her head, and yanked her faded capris to just above her hips, resting firmly around her bulgy diaper. Topanga then slipped her tiny, pre-tied, short laced pink converse onto her feet, struggling as Phoebe curled her toes, resisting her mother's attempt at placing anything on her feet. Topanga sighed, reaching into the basket beside her at pulling out instead, her pair of gold sandals with the peachy soles, wrapping the strap around her ankle and through the correct sized hole before slipping it through and pulling it snugly around her ankle.

"Do you want to go for a walk with Momma now?" Topanga signs 'walk' to her before waiting for her response.

When Phoebe really detested something, or she felt strongly about one thing or another, she would either throw a tantrum or find a way to exclaim "no" in her hoarse and cracky voice, Topanga hearing as she struggled to release the "N" sound from her lips, never hearing the vowel at the end but rather the word being grunted as "nnn".

Phoebe slowly and unsurely nodded, reaching her hand up for her mother's as her mom grabbed her shoes, sliding them on as they left the home. Phoebe at the first corner, felt the warm and relaxing breeze swirling around her face and through her toes, loving every bit of the soothing wind, a nice warmth such as a bath, rather than the usual hot and sticky weather that was there when they arrived.

The sun wasn't yet too bright, it resting behind the clouds and reappearing as if it was trying to play 'Peek-a-boo' in the sky, and she barely cast a shadow along the early, nine o'clock sidewalk. As Phoebe was content, stopping every few steps to pick a dandelion from another yard, Topanga only saw it from the corner of her eye, before forgetting about it, too focused on pulling Phoebe away from another's yard, and the friendly old couple smiling from their porch, along with the whispers she heard from next door, a young couple glaring at Topanga, remarking how she looked as if she struggled to keep her child contained.

It came from nowhere, at first from the corner of her eye, then at her feet, jumping excitedly to her hips as it's owner struggled to yank its leash, trying to tame the hyper-active puppy and pull him away. It was a good attempt failed, as the dog pulled its leash from their owner's hand, and flew toward Phoebe, knocking the unsuspecting tot who was bent over to pick a "flower", face first into the ground.

"Farago!" The male, light haired and very tan owner had snapped to his over-active newfoundland, before grabbing him by the color and pulling him back across the street, mutter under his breath as he uttered an insincere apology, nodding at Topanga as he walked away.

Phoebe looked up to her mother, wailed as she spit dirt from her mouth, and reached her arms openly toward her mother's. Topanga picked her up, hugging her tightly against her body and holding her up with her arms beneath the child's bum, bouncing her up and down, side to side, in a relaxing motion as not to overwhelm her anymore, but to assure her that everything would be okay.

"Phoebe, the puppy only wanted to play." Topanga soothes her, feeling as though she couldn't help but feel steamed from the way the man had just walked away, but she didn't want her child picking up on her anger. That wasn't the right way to teach her to react.

Topanga could then see her husband and Auggie coming their way, Auggie skipping proudly out in front of his father as he happily made his way toward his sister and mother, trying to get a glimpse of Phoebe's face, to see what the commotion he had heard around the block, and the faint screaming he knew only to be his sister's, was all about.

"Hey 'Bea, do you need a hug?" Auggie offered with genuine concern, hating to see the way his sister wrapped her arms fearfully and snugly around her mother's chest, hoping to lift her soured mood.

Phoebe was hesitant at first, and Auggie knew not to push or come off strong, but to wait and let her contemplate, careful to let her make the decision for herself not to overwhelm her. She slowly let go of her mother's hold, sliding down her body and turning to hug Auggie, barely reaching to his waist as he bent down to return the gesture, and she looked up to him, standing on her tiptoes to touch his hair, amused by the texture and frizzy feeling of it she had never dared to feel before.

Topanga never forced Phoebe to say his name, nor make her say 'I love you', for the sake that one day when she accomplished this on her own, that it would be a special moment of rejoice for the family, the hopes that she would do it or say it on her own come true. And now, as she stuttered his name, mumbling the 'gg' in his name as one, lending it more as a soft sound, and she smiled, looking proudly to her mother as her mother coached her through it, helping her finish his name, ending it to sound more like "Aw-gee", but nonetheless made her brother beam, high-fiving the sheepish young girl proudly, just another milestone they had hoped to one day accomplish.

Phoebe didn't fly high on her accomplishment though, barely realize how huge of a step it was for her to do, but didn't fully comprehend it, confused by the praise she was receiving, only knowing that it was something she did.


	10. chapter 10

She twisted, thumped and jerked against the floor, her muscles twitching out of control, her limbs loosely flailing to her side as she shook, her head off to the side as she bit down roughly on her tongue. Maya had been downstairs only for a drink of water, halfway through filling the cup when she had heard the loud thump, kick starting her heart and awakening her senses, sending her flying faster than she ever thought she could into the living room, and she distinctly remembers calling fearfully for Riley, who was still asleep outside the bathroom door, Maya stepping over her to exit quietly to the kitchen.

Topanga could hear the scream from outside, dropping her watering can into the bushes and breaking through the back door, the screen flying nearly off of it as she ran into the living room to see what the commotion was about. There she found Maya kneeling beside her youngest daughter, holding a pillow beneath Phoebe's head and rolling her onto her side to assure that she would not choke on or gnaw through her tongue.

"Mrs. Matthews, she just fell unconscious." Maya's voice quivers, and Topanga assures her that they were okay, as she makes her way to the kitchen to call an ambulance, unsure of her surrounding area and as to where to locate a hospital.

With Phoebe, there had been no warning signs as there had been when her sister had seizures as a young child, eventually outgrowing them. Riley would often begin to space out and her pupils would dilate, as the veins in her eyes would redden and she began to twitch. Riley's speech began to slur as with Phoebe, there could be no tell tale signs, a common reality that Phoebe was often spacey and distant from the rest.

"Maya, call Cory! He's down the street at the park with Auggie again." Topanga calls from the kitchen.

Topanga was unusually calm, at least in Maya's eyes. Topanga felt herself shaking, her full lips being cracked from the constant gnawing at them, and she told herself to breathe, knowing that this wasn't their first rodeo with seizures in the family. It was hereditary, she would remind herself. No big deal if she didn't make it one. But she knew it was and she couldn't stop worrying about it, always keeping a watchful and careful eye on her youngest, and looking for triggers. Could it be that she hit her head roughly against the concrete or a rock in the grass when the dog pushed her over?

Phoebe was to be taken to the hospital to be evaluated, her seizuring posing no possible harm as long as it lasted for no more than a few minutes. There had been no unusual signs this time, the constant spacey glare not uncommon and the eye twitching non-present before it, at least she had assumed because Maya surely would have mentioned that, knowing that she's been around long enough to have gone through this before.

Topanga cradled her hefty three year old in her arms, picking her up with her hands beneath her head though she knew moving her could be risky. She carried her to the front door, coddling her in her arms as she waited on the front porch for the ambulance, shielding Phoebe's eyes from the sun with her floppy sunhat her grandmother had given her when she was just a toddler, curious and willing to get her hands dirty in order to learn how to garden, and plant fresh vegetables.

She squinted her eyes, looking out into the bright, hot sun just to the left of her, searching long and hard for any sign of the ambulance, but instead she found her husband with their small, eight year old son on his shoulders, practically galloping up the sidewalk and into the yard of their vacation home.

"Topanga, what happened?" Cory exclaims as Maya runs up behind him, bending over to rest her hands on her knees, panting as she curses her lack of motivation to be active under her breath.

"Here, take her Cory, I'm kind of starting to really feel warm and light headed." She suddenly groans, feeling overwhelmed as Cory grabbed her and she sunk her face into her knees, folding her hands together and resting them on the back of her head.

Upon arriving at the hospital, Topanga and Phoebe were taken care of separately, the first test examining whether or not either suffered heat stroke or dehydration. When Phoebe passed all of her tests, it was concluded that it was nothing more than just a seizure caused by nothing more than epilepsy itself. Topanga on the other hand, was hooked to an IV, waiting for any results to come back before being released with Phoebe.

"Mrs. Matthews? You don't look to hot. " Maya informs her and Topanga groans, looking disapprovingly at Maya, and Riley pulls her back from the bed.

"Maya! She's sick and we're gonna wait this out with her." Riley snaps as she and Maya occupy the chairs next to the door, Maya still feeling slightly ill leaning against Riley.

Cory stands beside his wife, whispering to make sure that the kids can't hear the small talk between the small adults, but judging by the nervous look on her mother's face, Riley knew there was more to just her mom falling suddenly sick. It was like they knew more about it than they gave off.

Phoebe lay beside her her mother in her bed, sleeping under her arm as she struggled to relax, overstimulated and overwhelmed from waking in the hospital, a busy and quite cruel nurse snapping at her to stay still, ignoring the wailing from Phoebe while glaring disapprovingly at her father.

"Can you please make her stop?" The nurse had snapped out of annoyance under her breath and Cory sighed, willing to explain her condition before the nurse had cut him off and left the room.

Topanga anxiously glared around Cory to look at the girls with Auggie sitting on Maya's lap, and couldn't help but wish that it had only been heat stroke or food poisoning, but she didn't know and that's what scared her most. She had a hunch of course, but the nurse could only confirm what she thought.

"Mrs. Matthews? We have the results from your blood test and we can confirm that you're okay to go home." The nurse informs her as she smiles, handing Topanga the clipboard to sign the release forms.

"That's it? You give her some sugary juice and graham crackers and she's okay to go?" Maya mocks the nurse.

"It was to raise her blood sugar levels which dropped significantly in the heat." Cory insists, walking towards Maya to sit her back down.

The nurse only laughs it off, watching as Topanga signed the papers, pushing her IV out of the way as if dragged along her paper, making it difficult to sign. She then hands it off to Cory and he signs too, grimacing at the painfully large bill for the extremely short stay.

"So what specifically were you looking for on the tests? Just low blood sugar, diabetes?" Cory begins to rattle off nervously, feeling uneasy at the simple diagnosis.

"Well the blood tests were specifically used to look for any main causes, including a routine pregnancy test."

"What? Cory!" Topanga suddenly jerks up her body, causing Phoebe to stir from her sleep.

"Dad?! How could she… what?"

"Honey, we've been through this…" Maya laughs, trying to lighten the mood while smiling with amusement to everyone's shock and surprise.

"How you doin'." Cory nervously smirks, gesturing his pointer finger in a salute from his forehead to Maya.

The nurse doesn't move, her face doesn't look up from her clipboard as it's returned to her, but instead her face droops sorrowfully and apologetically, shaking her head.

"You're blood levels weren't low because of that. In fact, they would be higher if she was pregnant. I'm sorry Mrs. Matthews, but the dizziness was caused due to blood loss after a miscarriage."


	11. Chapter 11

Riley, Auggie, and even Maya knew it was not like Topanga to be sheltered from the rest, let alone reject any help or comfort from her husband or kids. Riley vividly remembers as a child her mother being sick with the flu, her fever a sky high 103.4, and still her mother came downstairs in her work clothes, black dress pants and a white, thin and flowy blouse, tucked into her dress pants and the ruffles going down the middle that covered the buttons hung over the snap of her pants. She did not wear her blazer in an attempt to stay cool, and her hair was tied up into a topknot, keeping off her forehead and neck.

"Topanga, you're sick; Be reasonable here." Cory had plead as she had turned to cough in her arm abruptly for a solid two minutes, nearly crippled by her sudden fit.

She only ignored her husband, picking up her briefcase and heading for the door definitely, not paying any attention as her youngest, Auggie at only two years old, clung to her sweaty legs, begging her not to leave, and shaking him off.

She barely made it through the door before dropping her briefcase and turning the handle on the front door, delaying her time slightly enough for her to wind up puking in front of her horrified children and not-so-surprised husband, sitting with a smug 'I told you so' look on his face before getting up and bringing his wife upstairs to tuck her in bed despite her pleas that she would still be okay.

Cory knew his wife was stubborn, remembering the time she had been sick and refused to put down her six month old Riley, insisting that she could still breastfeed despite being sick, though Cory as a new and unknowing father thought that it would be contaminated. Topanga knew that she was only running a fever, her clogged milk ducts making her nauseous and sick, but she knew nonetheless if she continued to pump, the problem would heal itself as her body was made to do.

Now Topanga had shut everyone out, the normally persistent brunette who insisted on helping others and giving them advice how to deal with their problems refusing to come to terms with her surprise pregnancy that came to an abrupt end. Cory and the kids had tried to console her, Topanga longing for Cory's and her children's comfort, but too uncomfortable to come to terms and move on, and after the dedication and selflessness her mother had normally shown towards the family, they gave her a break, knowing how normally resilient she was, but still asking how they could help.

Cory crawled in bed beside her as she lay with her pillow hugged to her abdomen, her head propped against the headboard of their vacation bed, the one Topanga had refused to leave in the last few days of vacation, despite Cory trying to persuade her that they were all more than willing to going home.

Topanga turned to him, nuzzling herself into her husband and she rolled over and hugged him, burying her head into his chest and sobbing, expecting nothing less than for her husband to console her, savoring the warm and comforting feeling of his firm hands rubbing soothing circles on her back. She didn't want to speak and Cory respected that, and continued to hold her until her body gave in, her body collapsing in exhaustion, falling asleep in her husband's embrace while the kids waited patiently for them.

"Even if this baby wasn't apart of our world very long, he or she has made a mark. A piece of mom's world had been broken, Maya; To Phoebe, Auggie, you and Dad, she's everything, she's what's helping keep us together. We're only a piece of her world, but to us she's everything. It's just another puzzle piece of life we lost and are figuring how to put back together."

Riley and Maya sat outside the bedroom door despite her father's command to stay downstairs and watch her siblings or take them for a walk, but instead were curiously drawn to the door, heartbroken but not nearly as deeply as their mother.

Topanga eventually stirred, looking up at her smiling husband patiently holding her in his embrace and waiting for her and her eyes widened, swelling to three times their size as she cleared her throat and barely croaked out to keep his attention.

"Cory, I want to see the kids; They're the only thing i'm needing to feel better right now, being reminded of what i'm thankful to have." She pleas, sitting up slightly against the back of the bed.

Phoebe was unaware that her mother had been upset and upon entering her eyes filled with sorrow, widening as she crawled on the bed and snuggled in her mother's embrace, pushing herself under her arm as her brother, sister and Maya sat on the edge, watching as Phoebe looked to her mother, offering her the receiving blanket she always slept with, the only gesture she could understand how to give: compassion, a very passionate and loving little girl though she didn't understand what it exactly was, would often observe how her family would comfort each other, and used that as her foundation, a skill she had learned though the Matthew's had never heard her utter the words, 'I love you'.

"Mom, do you remember when Mrs. Svorski passed? She wasn't a part of our world very long, but we circled our lives around her and we loved her lots. This baby is much the same; He or she wasn't in our orbit very long and still made a huge impact." Riley reminds her, crawling to the back of the bed and resting herself between her mother and father.

"Topanga, the kids are right. We didn't know the baby existed until the news of the miscarriage, but either way he or she is loved no matter how short we knew about them. And even if heaven this baby helps hold our family in place, only strengthening our relationships."

Maya sheepishly looks as the family snuggles together, hesitant to join but Topanga only offers a weak smile, gesturing her over and patting the spot near the edge by her and Phoebe. Maya gratefully snuggles with the family, content with the silence and the warmth of all their bodies snuggled together on the small guest bed.

"We're constantly moving, changing. And with the addition of Phoebe three years ago and her diagnosis two years ago, I had realized until now how much we really depend on each other. And even if we only feel like a piece of Phoebe's world, to her we're everything." Maya smiles, getting approving looks from the rest of her "Family".

"Luf-oooou!" Phoebe stutters as more as one word.

It was a very inaudible sound that didn't seem like much, however it meant the world to her distressed mother, as she watched Phoebe try to sign the word too, and knew instantly that there was no better timing to hear the word she had been waiting for. Her face lit up as she looked to her children, all smiling as Riley reached over and squeezed Phoebe's hand proudly despite her confusion to what she had done right.

"I love you too, 'bea." Topanga sighs, her eyes welling up with tears stinging the back of her eyes as her heart grew four sizes with pride, leaning over to hug the clueless three year old.

 **-XXX-**

"Mr. Matthews, how long until Mrs. Matthews is feeling better?" Maya wonders solicitously as she picks at her food with her fork, her appetite still not appearing despite feeling better since bathing.

"It gets easier to deal with, but it doesn't go away. What she's feeling right now, she hasn't come to terms with and hasn't experienced before, and when she starts to feel better it isn't the pain that went away, it's the she's learned to deal with and accept her feelings."

Maya uneasily continues to push her food around her plate in tense silence, looking to Riley and watching her do the same, stopping every now and then to glare up the staircase as if she was contemplating going up to stay with her mother despite her father insisting that she wanted to rest.

"Dad…" Riley begins.

"Go ahead Riley; Why don't you and Maya go check on her? Auggie and I will stay down here and read Phoebe a story for bed, won't we bud?" Cory reiterated, realizing the hurt his daughter had felt, and knew Topanga shouldn't feel like she was going through this alone, but needed to hear it from someone other than her husband.

Phoebe cuddled into Cory's lap, sinking herself into his arms as he picked up a book, her favorite by Eric Carle, and she rested her head on his shoulder. They sunk into the foam couch inside the vacation home, the dark velvet blue couch against the cheerful walls, the theme clashing but nonetheless looked like a homey, warm setting, perfectly matching with the location and Florida weather.

Cory didn't dare move when Phoebe had fallen asleep, cherishing the rare moment that his child would voluntarily snuggle with him, her autism making her fearful of most men, Cory constantly having to keep trimmed because any facial hair terrified the small girl. Her brother had trouble getting her to bond too, his thick, curly, brown hair appealing to her, and was the only distraction from the fact that she was too afraid of any close affection or interaction.

Farkle perfectly summed up Phoebe's behavior in every way, not only in his scientific hypotheses, but on a level of understanding that connected her with him, Farkle the only male outside her family beside occasionally Lucas, who could really communicate with her, her hindered speech a frustration for her.

" _Mr. Matthews, have you ever considered that Phoebe's Autism is more on a spectrum of being Asperger's?"_ He had asked.

It had been brushed off but not taken lightly after brief consideration, the Matthews wanting an answer for her behavior, but not wanting to put a label on it or more specifically, her. They wanted her to grow up knowing that it didn't define her despite the challenges she would face. They wanted her to know that she could create her own world without feeling like why she couldn't accomplish the same things others could, though they had high hopes for the young girl, even making her first speech therapy appointment after preschool, three days a week, despite working with her for so long by themselves.

It wasn't until the rumble of faint thunder and the flash of sudden lightening illuminating the dark horizon that Phoebe had been startled from her light sleep and gentle breaths, her chest going from slowly rising to rapidly huffing, her body as stiff as a board as her eyes lit up at the vain sky and she hovered, longing for comfort, burying her head into her father's stomach.

"Phoebe…" Cory began to console her, hoping for her to lift her head from the comfort of her father's grasp.

Phoebe reluctantly glanced at Cory before darting her bloodshot eyes, narrowing them to focus on the floor beneath her, rather than her father's comforting, uncanny, resembling browns. Cory lifted her chin knowing that he should enforce eye contact, even though Topanga protested that is would only make her more stubborn and unwilling to learn to do so.

"Look at my eyes please." He repeats firmly, looking his straight at her shifting eyes, glancing between his and the floor.

He looked to the small girl curled in his lap as he rocked her back and forth, watching as her overstimulated senses went into overdrive at the simplicity of just a few lightening strikes and the roar of the thunder in the distance. She shoved the four fingers of her left hand into her mouth, going to down and gnawing at them right to the bone, her skin and knuckle often red and raw, Topanga at a loss as she struggled to wrestle Phoebe, begging her own child to let her put the thick and slimy baby lotion on her hands.

She had cried for a good twenty minutes after the forty-five minute storm and when her sister and Maya had come downstairs from their room to see what Phoebe's ear piercing whimpers had been about, the power had cut out, Phoebe thankfully with her head buried beneath her ratty old weighted afghan blanket her grandmother had crotched as a baby gift to her, sucking her thumb intensely as her breathing shook heavily, her shoulders and chest rising less intently and her body less tense than before.

"Mr. Matthews," Maya began before he held his finger pointless up to his lips, realizing that neither of the girls could see him at the moment.

They lit some candles and all sat in the living room beside the couch and Phoebe, gathered around the small game board of the Matthews's favorite family game. Maya and Auggie teamed up despite his protest to be with his father, Cory wanting to keep the teams even and fair. They invited a reluctant Topanga who insisted herself that they play without her, claiming that she didn't want to scramble the teams.

Before returning upstairs, Topanga lifted Phoebe from the couch careful enough not to stir her sleep, and brought the child to sleep upstairs in her bed, anxiously falling asleep with the ricocheting thoughts of how she and Cory found the strength to awake every early hour of the morning with this child, but she realized she and the entire family were a team, that she would never do this alone, and that God above had given her to them as their little stitch, their miracle, giving patient Topanga the ability to be stretched to limits she never thought she could reach.

' _But you know what?"_ Topanga thought to herself before chuckling, " _Obviously God sees more in me than I do myself. If he brings me to it, he'll bring me through it."_ She chants to herself, renewed faith in God and in her mothering abilities, feeling a small smile breakthrough the cracks of the frown that had been plastered on her face.


	12. Chapter 12

After an agonizingly long seventeen hour car trip in a hot van, Topanga and Cory alternating at the wheel, and with Maya driving for fifteen minutes before nearly crashing as they drove through South Carolina, (Cory grasping the wheel with one hand and steering them off the road to safety), they were all more than happy to be home, Phoebe's normal routine being scrambled and disturbed during the nearly two week trip, and the time change leaving them jet-lagged, they collapsed in their beds fully clothed and face down, not even bothering to find the strength to cover beneath their sheets.

Everything seemed back to normal and as expected, Topanga had rolled out of bed at two in the morning, barely after an hour and a half of sleep, shuffling across the hall to accompany her daughter's ear piercing screams of terror reigning over and shaking the entire apartment, a mystery of how her husband was still snoring loudly on the edge of their bed.

"Phoebe, calm body." Topanga reprimands gently as she crawls into the preschooler's bed and lies down next beside her, firmly holding her hands to her body as she wrapped her own arms around her daughter's stiff and shaky self.

Topanga felt that she had given all her nights everything, trying the inevitable, (Singing, reading, calm and firm voices such as guided meditation) but Phoebe had been born stubborn from the start, few things actually able to calm her down. It wasn't until Topanga draped her old afghan over her shoulders and around her small body, and hummed softly in her ear that her meltdown had slowly come to a halt, not immediately but with time, her senses that were once overstimulated eased.

Topanga felt her eyelids drooping so low that they could literally touch the dark circles around her eyes as she shifted her body, careful not to wake Phoebe, and made herself as comfortable as one adult could in a child sized bed, sleeping until the sun barely peeked through the sky, only a seemingly short four hours later. This had been her entire vacation.

When Topanga woke, she felt like her heart had dropped a mile into the pit of her stomach. Phoebe was no longer snuggling her blanket beneath her covers, nor hidden beneath the bed. She moved quickly and slyly for a girl of her age, and Topanga wandered down the hall, checking Auggie's and her own room first, before sneaking down the hall into the bathroom, it not being the first time she found her curled up in the tub.

She heard it faint at first, then a little louder, instantly recognizing Riley's quiet and short breaths, not quite a snore, but more than just some gasps. She slowly peered down the hall, seeing that the door had been opened, and her heart instantly melted at the sight she had just witnessed.

Phoebe and Maya sat on the floor closest to the bay window, quietly giggling amongst themselves as Maya smiled encouragingly at her, watching contently as Phoebe turned the small, wooden square blocks in her hands, making a fist around it as she curiously surveyed it. Maya could see the fascination in her eyes, reaching cautiously towards the child's' hands and coaching them towards the lopsided tower the two had constructed, slowly letting go and watching as proud as a mother would while Phoebe placed the block on top of the tower, and giggled as it crashed to the floor, though she had been slightly startled by the loud noise of the wood on wood.

"Girls, it's early." Topanga whispers, barely able to contain her excitement of Phoebe willingly playing, a large smile plastered across her face.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Matthews; she crawled into bed between Riley and me and slept for about twenty minutes before she insisted to climb out of bed. Knowing that it isn't often that she wants to engage in activities, I thought it would be alright to play." Maya defends, smiling over and brushing back the hair from Phoebe's face.

Topanga knew her fine motor skills needed improvement and that it wasn't often that she was willing to participate with others in small talk or play. She had often watched her sister and Maya from the arm chair as the two would put together a puzzle, and when she was offered a turn, grew quickly frustrated when she didn't understand (Even with much guidance) why the piece would still not fit together. Topanga had tried a variety of puzzles, one with just simple shapes, one that matched colors, and another with large pieces for her small hands despite the fact that they were suggested that they focus on her fine motor.

"Ss...ry." Phoebe hissed after Maya, trying to form the word on her lips as almost a lispy sound.

Topanga bent down to Phoebe's level, smiling at her as Phoebe's eyes darted away, focusing on the block she was turning in her hand. She lifts her chin, trying to maintain firm eye contact with her fidgety child, and lifts her to her feet.

"Why don't you and Maya clean up, then bring them downstairs to play until your sister wakes?" Topanga suggests, grabbing for her hand that Phoebe reluctantly reaches up for.

Phoebe and Maya played until breakfast was ready, and it was then that Phoebe made her mother's heart glow with pride, the little gestures and things she accomplished a huge deal in her parents' minds as they watched Phoebe attempt to pull her chair out from the table, and climb into her seat, patting the chair beside her and trying to form Maya's name on her lips as an invitation to sit beside her at breakfast.

"I'm so proud of you 'Bea." Topanga leans down to kiss the top of her head before setting two bowls of oatmeal in front of her and Maya.

Phoebe surveyed the oatmeal before thrusting an opened palm into it, cringing and twisting up her face in a startled and disgusted way Topanga only recognized as 'The calm before the storm'. She knew that she had a matter of seconds before Phoebe completely flipped, and Topanga instantly regretted the morning meal of her choice.

She grabs a wet wipe and hustled over to Phoebe, reaching over her to grab her hands and wipe off the thick, beige and chunky oats from her daughter's flailing hands.

"Phoebe, calm hands." Topanga reprimands as she holds her excited hands tightly to her sides.

Phoebe wiggled in her chair before glaring up longingly at her mother, begging her silently with her eyes to remove her from the chair so she could continue her meltdown on the floor and Topanga knew instantly that she had obviously not had enough sleep. But when Phoebe had wormed her way out of the seat and threw herself onto the floor when Topanga had slid the blocks on the table away from her reach so that she couldn't throw them. Topanga knew it had been formed into a tantrum, not a meltdown. Tantrums, she reminded herself, were for attention, and she was obviously upset that she had been punished.

"Phoebe, look momma in the eyes please. We need to calm down and act like the big girl you are." Topanga consoled her, knowing that that phrase may very well never come true.

Phoebe had a behavioral problem that she couldn't help. When she was overtired, overstimulated or overwhelmed she had the tendency to express herself in the only way someone with limited words knew how: with actions. But Cory and Topanga wanted to teach her to cope in a healthy way, teaching the child sign language to help with the miscommunication and frustration their daughter felt everyday as she struggled to form certain words and struggled to express her feelings as every three year old was learning to do.

Topanga knelt to Phoebe's level and took her hands in her own, looking at the red faced preschooler with hot tears streaming down her angered face, struggling to focus as everything around her blurred in one, overwhelming and confusing mess.

"Deep breaths." Topanga coaches, waiting for her to do the same.

"Sad? Mad?" Maya looks over to Phoebe, signing both to her before watching as Phoebe copied both.

"I'll tell you what," Maya begins, walking over and kneeling beside the distraught child, "We can play blocks again but you have to promise me that you'll behave like a big girl. Would you like to play together again?"

Phoebe faintly mouths 'yes' before looking for her mother's okay, and reaching up for Maya's hand as she lead her to the living room, the two sitting side by side in front of the mess of colorful wood blocks, Maya picking them up and identifying the color of each one before allowing her to place them on the tower.

"Maya and Phoebe, an unlikely pair, huh? Let's just hope that we don't have another Maya on our hands. " Cory smiles as he hugs his wife from behind, and she nudges him jokingly before looking up to kiss him.

"We're lucky Cory; Blessed." She smiles lovingly at him.

 **-XXX-**

"Cory, can we really do this? I mean- preschool was a disaster! What if she just goes off and bites him?" Topanga rambles, nervously flipping her hair with her comb as she watches Cory in the reflection behind her.

"We're talking about Phoebe, right? She's not an animal Topanga, she just doesn't understand her feelings and we're trying to help her. It's for the best, I promise."

He smiles down at her and she tilts her head up to kiss him before he hugs her from behind, squeezing her as he sways her side to side gently. He and Topanga, mostly Topanga, had tossed and turned throughout the night, wondering how her first productive therapy appointment would go. The therapist being male made Topanga's anxiety heighten, but Cory had convinced her it was time to expose her, and he had even offered to do the sessions from home.

Topanga was startled from her thoughts and her husband's warm grasp as the three bold knocks on the front door and the ring of the buzzer made her jump from his arms, literally lunging for the door. Cory calmly took Phoebe's hand and helped her jump from the bed, walking with her to the livingroom to introduce her to him.

He extends a friendly hand towards the timid child, her safety and coping mechanism an instinct as she tugged at the bottom of her mom's long shirt, hiding from behind only to exchange a heartbroken look, unable to understand why her mom wasn't trying to protect her, but instead was pushing her towards him. Phoebe gingerly extended her hand after her mom nudged her a few times, a loosely shakes it up and down once before taking a cautious step back.

He wasn't too tall, but he definitely was big enough to startle small Phoebe from her socks, and her insides twisted, feeling as if the urge to throw-up would help her calm down a bit. It wasn't an ideal first impression but he was patient unlike her parents who looked at his shoes with horror, the loafers quickly being sprayed with vomit from Phoebe's opened and dripping mouth. His olive skin turned a bright red despite looking unphased, and he calmly turned to her parents, smiling and wiping it off with a handkerchief he had pulled from his pocket.

"It's only vomit, but it will come out! Some kids cope with biting, so this by far is way better." He insists politely, crouching down to Phoebe's height.

"How about you and I play some games? Would you like that Miss Phoebe?" He asks, reaching for her hand.

He dug into his bag as Phoebe sat on the couch, contently curled against the cushions and watching as he dumped out his knapsack of toys, from play dough to puzzles, broken crayons and colored pencils with bite marks in them, to quirkiest and kinkiest of fidget toys one could find.

Phoebe studies a plastic container of play dough, biting at the lid to lift it up and shakes it, watching as the playdough falls with a thud against the wooden table. Topanga knew inside that Phoebe was very smart, and even the psychologist could see that she was in the process of learning to explore different textures and toys, her opening it the first step to learning to independently play.

Topanga let go of a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding the minute she escaped the room to Phoebe's ignorance, hearing as Dr. Schmoyer knelt to her level and squashed the play dough between his palms and encouraging her to do the same. She cringed the moment she thought she heard Phoebe's distinct wail, but Cory had only grabbed her arm and yanked her back on their bed, convincing her that them giving Phoebe space and forcing her to cope on her own without intervention would be best for her learning.

"It breaks my heart knowing that she probably feels a sense of abandonment." Her voice wavers, glaring at her husband who was flipping a pamphlet he had found about the therapist.

"She doesn't understand now, all she knows is that some strange man is here to play with her, and she's apparently accepted that. Don't you think he has this under control? How would getting our daughter help and forcing her to interact with peers be being bad parents?" He consoles his wife, wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing her on the side of her head.

When the two (Painstakingly long for Topanga) hours were up, the parents headed downstairs to send him off, finding that their daughter was actually curled up on the couch in a ball, blankly staring at a blue flashcard he was holding in front of her face, and Cory could clearly see that she wanted nothing to do with it.

"She's finicky," He glances at them, "But she was pretty cooperative during free play, not that she could exactly figure out how to put the puzzle pieces together as matches, but she at least knew that the 3D pieces went into the ball, and grew frustrated she couldn't fit them."

On the table was a round ball with different shaped holes and shapes, each piece corresponding with the hole in which it would fit, and it was obvious that Phoebe couldn't quite match shapes together, a circle clearly jammed into a square shaped hole. The ball pulled apart, releasing the shapes so that she could start over, and though she didn't match any, it was clear there was an attempt made.

It was the calm before the storm; Shortly after Dr. Schmoyer had left Phoebe had buried herself under her weighted teal and blue knitted afghan inside the Matthews's pots and pans cabinet, the loud clutter of Phoebe having pushed her way inside with her blanket dragging behind her, and the sight (to Topanga's relief) of the corner of her blanket peeking out of it when she was nowhere else to be found. She remained with her thumb in her mouth at the very back, the pots and pans surrounding her small body but not actually touching her, just making an outline around her body.

The weighted blanket only made it harder to see her, and Topanga hadn't wanted to move her, fearful of the storm to come so instead, cracked it open just a smidge and cursed her name under her breath for being too lazy to put the plastic safety locks on the door, despite Cory insisting that her "Sensory seeking" someplace quiet could be a good thing, a new coping skill.

Maya walked into the kitchen, catching a glimpse and smiled amusingly at Phoebe, an idea popping into her head, hoping that the small girl would be willing to interact with her, Maya distracting her from her sensory seeking though she knew that she should not intervene, giving her space, but she couldn't stand the sight of seeing her "sister" curled up like that in a rickety old pan cabinet.

"Eight...Nine…Ten! I'm coming to seek you Phoebe!" She exclaims cheerfully, unexpectedly hearing a small but happy gasp from inside the cabinet.

"I've got you, Sweetface!" Maya gently exclaims, reaching inside and grabbing for Phoebe's hand, the child gingerly accepting and sliding out with hesitation onto Maya's lap as the two sit on the floor together.

Phoebe doesn't forget the fact that she was feeling overwhelmed, and continues to run her fingers over Maya's soft fleece with her left hand, while weaving her fingers in the holes of her blanket with her other, continuing to rock back and forth as she did so.

Maya consoles her, wrapping her arms gently around Phoebe with the blanket draped over her shoulders, swaying with the small girl on her lap, her head against Maya's shoulder and her expression blank as Maya begins to sing.

"He's got the whole world in his hands…" She finishes, rocking Phoebe softly.

Her voice was loud, coming down to more of a wail rather than an ear piercing screech, refusing to give as she flailed her arms around and nearly smacked Maya in the face, so desperately trying to avoid Maya's tactics, not giving into the beast which was so poorly and commonly misunderstood, _Autism._

"You know 'Bea," Maya begins as she watches Phoebe's eyes flutter with exhaustion despite the fact that she was refusing to give in, "You're lucky to be a Matthews; Don't take your crazy sister, brother and parents for granted. They love you and will always have your back, and so will I." Maya smiles, feeling as if she was talking more to herself than Phoebe, all her sayings going in one of Phoebe's ears and out the other.


	13. Lucaya meets Babysitting

Maya Hart had always wanted the feeling of family, one she couldn't quite describe, but one that looked just as Riley and her family did. But as she grew up she came to realize that even the most perfect appearing families weren't perfect and didn't have it all together, and with Phoebe it became apparent that life is never as predictable as it seems. Maya figured on her own that even on their best days the Matthews could never be that perfect family, and constantly leaned on each other and on their faith in God. Family became who they wanted to be in their lives, not just with blood but through the people you find to lean on.

So when the Cory and Topanga had asked Maya and Riley to babysit Phoebe for the first time while they went to Auggie's first play performance, knowing that Phoebe would easily become overstimulated, Maya had not looked at this as a burden, but secretly felt happy inside knowing that she and Riley were looked upon as two responsible teens to watch a child despite her special needs, but nonetheless looked on it as a beautiful challenge.

"Girls please watch her, she's sneaky. Really closely, I mean it!" Topanga rambles nervously, warning them with angst apparent in her eyes.

"How you doin' Mrs. Matthews?" Maya asked with amusement, confident that they could handle it, maybe a little too confident where it would become predictably cliche that Phoebe would misbehave or have a rough night.

"Mom, you've got the best babysitters around. We won't let you down." Riley assures her, practically pushing her parents through the door.

The girls look at each other with uncontainable excitement as the door slams behind them, and they simultaneously glare at each other, communicating as if the two could read each other's minds, slowly shifting their stares to Phoebe who was content with playing with her socks.

"We're gonna do great, after all, Phoebe's not a bad little girl, her emotions just get the best of her." Riley notes, taking a breath as she takes a nervous step towards Phoebe.

Forty long minutes pass and Riley literally felt emotions of frustration welling up in her, burying her face in the couch cushions as Phoebe cried from beneath her arms, failing to respond to Riley's patient approach slowly turning into an flustered and hopeless attempt as trying to console her sister.

"Riles, you're not fooling anyone, we both know you're in the cushions." Maya says sarcastically, unusually calm in their given situation.

Riley glares disapprovingly to her, sitting up carefully enough not to startle Phoebe.

"Maya, she won't stop crying and I can't help but feeling useless and terrible that she's feeling super anxious and not anything in the world we can do, not all the meds or anything will work miracles." Riley informs her on the verge of tears, guilt apparent in her voice.

"Riley, these things take time. But she'll only feel pressured and more anxious if we push her to calm down. She just needs to feel comfort and for her senses to come down from overload.

Maya walks over, kneeling to Phoebe's level and brushing her hair hesitantly and gently from her face, assuring that if she didn't want to anyone in her face that Maya wouldn't make it worse. But all Maya could think of doing was to grab her weighted blanket from the arm chair and throw in over Phoebe, wrapping it around her before picking up the small child and hoisting her on her hip, allowing her to rest her head on her shoulder as Maya walked upstairs to Riley's room, sitting with her in the window and slightly cracking it, the city unusually calm for barely going on eight that night.

"This can't feel like much fun, huh Sweetface?" Maya gently infers, allowing Phoebe to shift her body comfortable in a curled up position in her arms, laying in Maya's arms much as a newborn baby would be coddled in their mother's arms.

Maya rocks her back and forth calmly as Phoebe wails, her ear piercing screams convincing Maya that one day this child could be an excellent singer, her voice already well on its way to being able to hit vocals as high as Mariah Carey, and Maya silently chuckled, but felt hopeful that one day Phoebe could overcome her obstacles to become whatever God had planned for her, whether it was performing publicly in front of millions of people or just simply becoming a teacher like her dad. Nonetheless whatever it was, it would be a huge accomplishment.

"Maya?" She suddenly hears a deeply handsome voice call from outside the window, practically startling Maya and nearly dropping an already wiggly Phoebe from her arms.

Lucas peers in through the glass, his voice slightly inaudible through the glass in the window, but still not unrecognizable through the cracked window. He slides his body through the window and next to Maya as she snaps back with anger, frustrated that he didn't take the cue to get lost when she had slammed the window shut in the first place, trying to avoid any further distractions.

"Lucas…" She hisses.

Trying to keep her cool in front of Phoebe, she shifts her concern and focus more on Phoebe than the fact that she could literally feel his summery breath on her neck and his cologne which smelled of warm, indescribable scent that smelled more like a city boy than a country boy should, and she secretly breathed in deeply, feeling the smell fill her nostrils and comfort her heightened senses.

"Get lost Ranger Rick, this 'cattle' is much too much for a pretty boy like you to corral." She insists sarcastically, comparing Phoebe's sensory overload to something in "Lucas terms", he could understand.

Maya continues to rock her as if she hadn't felt Lucas move closer and put his arms around hers, helping her rock Phoebe though he knew she was fully capable. Maya glared disapprovingly quickly before focusing back on Phoebe, beginning to sing to her.

" _Where Hurr-Hurr is heard..."_ She belts softly, clearly yet solemnly making fun of Lucas, smiling when she realized that his focus wasn't on her but on Phoebe.

Phoebe begins to calm, her body becoming less stiff and her limbs flailed less, but outside the sudden noise of a loud truck outside, squealing tires and lifting garbage cans, and Phoebe jumps, her eyes widening but her focus never shifting from staring vacantly into nowhere, though her loud screams stopped temporarily. Maya groans but quickly jumps back, a wild arm missing her face and hitting Lucas in the mouth.

"Phoebe, calm body, calm hands." She chants quietly, reprimanding her.

Maya continues rocking but turns to Lucas, his hands covering his chin where Phoebe had smacked him, clearly trying not to make a deal out of it considering it was all an accident, but Maya had felt terrible.

"Here-Try to focus on calming her and reminding her to have a calm body. She's learning Maya." Lucas calmly instructs her, ignoring the incident as not to draw attention to it.

Maya brushes him off and Lucas only throws his hands up in surrender, laughing to himself as he didn't realize that his eyes were gazing in awe at how Maya handled Phoebe and he only wanted to help himself.

Lucas takes Phoebe on his lap, sitting her up to lean against his tall frame and wraps his arms around her, holding her arms snugly to her body but still continuing to rock with her wild body, swaying her side to side as she was desperately trying to do anyways. Maya sat back in awe, unsure how she felt, one part of her wishing that it was her being consoled by Lucas.

" _Wait,"_ She thought before shaking it out of her head.

Lucas had a way with kids, after all, he had told Riley at the library during their technology free research project that he had wanted to be a veterinarian, so clearly he had his heart in the right place, tender and caring for all things, but if Maya knew she would only make fun of him, just as she had when she found out he was a mutton buster, or even if she found out he had been instructed by himself how to deliver a pony.

Phoebe's body soon fell limp against Lucas's chest, giving in to all the crying and began to instead rub her fingers over her blanket, seeking for the soft texture to give her comfort.

"Why are you doing this?" Maya eventually whispers, looking down at Phoebe nearly asleep in Lucas arms after the long three hour battle.

"You know, I think you and I made a pretty great team. I think we've got this; Let them enjoy the rest of his play and dinner, don't you think they deserve it?" Lucas smiles down to Phoebe, and reaching a friendly arm around Maya as she leans against him.

Maya offered a sheepish smiles and Lucas's eyes instinctively locked with her as she looked up at him, and their hearts felt as if they are beating to the same drum, both of them unable to move as they felt it in their ears, feeling as if they could hear how each other's both sounded nervous.

"Huckleberry?" She asked, moving her face closer.

"Yeah?" He responded, his heart pounding faster, louder.

They only glanced into each other's eyes, Maya's eyes swimming like a lost fish in his ocean blues, and he pulled her closer as she reached up her right hand and rested it on his cheek, looking longingly into his face and eyes, wandering from his bruise that was starting to form.

"She hit you pretty good." She sighed, cringing at the fact that she had just muttered something entirely ridiculous.

"She's a fighter, that's for sure. I think you're rubbing off on her." He smiles, pulling back from her hold and uncomfortably chuckling as she sat up.

Suddenly the two hear the window open behind them and Cory smiling condescendingly before lifting it and climbing through.

"Lucas?" His voice wavered in an unusually calm tone.

"Yes sir?" He nervously responded.

"Get out of my daughter's room!" He roared with a large smile, the two becoming pals but nonetheless would that routine rule become vanished.

Cory looks to Maya and shrugs, unable to understand what had been happening.

"Maya, why is Riley buried underneath the couch cushions? She won't stop humming and come out! You burnt her out!" Cory shakes his head in disbelief.

Maya was left appalled by what had happened, even a little confused. As she felt Phoebe being lifted from her arms and into Cory's, and Auggie had slid next to her on the window, smiling brightly at her.

"You're in love, aren't you." He smiles smugly, and Maya burns him a look.

"What are you talking about, crazy?" She smiles, winking at him.


	14. Times' are a changin'

"Topanga," Cory pleas as he climbs out of the shower, twisting the corner of his towel and tucking it tightly around his side, "I understand that you're upset with me but flushing the toilet when someone is in the shower isn't just mean, it's dangerous!" He insists semi-bitterly, irritation and sarcasm heavy in his voice.

"Cory, i've already explained why I don't want any further testing. She's gone through enough in these last few years and I don't want her growing up thinking that her Autism disorder needs to be labeled. It doesn't define her and it doesn't matter what any doctor has to say. We believe we're seeking the proper help for her and that's what matters to us."

Topanga turns and leaves the bathroom, walking across their room to throw Cory's clothes in their hamper and begins to make the bed, stretching their fitted sheet over the top left corner of their bed and struggling as she reaches across the bed the fit the other end over the adjacent corner. Cory walks around, stretching it over and the two continue to make the bed together.

"Topanga, please let go of your need to be right. Your mother's intuition doesn't always mean we should block out all advice and suggestions from the doctor."

"I'm saying that we're her parents and we can listen to the advice, but we don't have to take it. We're gonna do what we see fit for our daughter and testing is just not necessary."

She doesn't look up as they lift the sheet over their heads and lay it on the bed, smoothing it flat across the mattress and finishing with their comforter as Cory walks into the closet and brings out an old file folder.

"This here, doesn't define our child; We know that she's not just a case label, or whatever this folder says she is. We don't need reassurance from some piece of paper when we know God already created her perfectly." Cory smiles, hugging Topanga from behind as he plops it on the bed.

"What are you saying Cory?" Topanga demands with discontent.

"We know she's perfect, so why are we looking for answers? Because as humans, we can't help but demand an answer for something, even if we can't control it." He smiles, reassuring Topanga that he had agreed with her all along.

' _Your child may never be able to perceive the normal social cues that other children are able to pick up on. Children with Autism, more specifically Asperger's, have trouble picking up and feeling emotion such as empathy.'_

Topanga could remember reading those words with her husband and still feeling unphased, knowing that love could not be taught but felt and that she and her family would make sure that even if she couldn't comprehend it, that she would grow up with a general understanding of what is means to be loved.

Cory and Topanga hear a sudden babbling and simultaneously turn to find their youngest daughter in the corner of their room near their lamp, facing the wall and gesturing towards it as she talks on, none of the words clear enough to make out, but it became apparent that she was deep in a one-sided conversation with herself. Her parents glanced at each other, unsure how to react. Relief washed over them knowing that engaging in self talk was the first sign of speech development being on track and came as a comfort.

"Phoebe? What's going on in that little head of yours?" Topanga turns around amused, smiling at the little girl as her heart glowed.

"Topanga?" Cory hugs her from behind, noting the tears streaming from her face.

"This milestone is the first of many, but it sure is special." She mumbles, wiping her sleeve across her face.

"You know," Topanga looks up at her husband, "I'm gonna miss these, even if they're not normal milestones that a three year old should just be achieving."

 **-XXX-**

Phoebe was nowhere to be found, not an ear piercing scream from the aimless wander nor the clutter of anything being moved or sorted to make room for her small body to slide into the cabinets, but she was as quiet as a mouse. There was no way she had left, they had safety locks on almost every door knob and handle, and the windows were always closed and locked, not that she could find the strength to slide the open anyways.

Cory was due home from work in twenty minutes, going in the last weeks of summer to set up his classroom, and Riley and Maya sat in the window, only shrugging when Topanga had asked if they had seen her.

"Phoebe, baby?!" Topanga rounds the corner into their room, lifting the bed skirt and checking under the bed.

She hears a small squeal from in their walk-in closet and is taken back by the sound of little footsteps swishing on the carpet and two little arms wrapping around her legs. As she turns around she takes in the blue jean jacket draped over her shoulders, sagging and making her look half her size, the sleeves dangling to nearly her toes and the baggy jacket practically sliding from her bony shoulders.

Topanga smiles and swoops her up in a hug, "It fits you perfectly." She gushes over the preschooler, hugging her arms around her as she tries to squirm away.

"Phoebe? Do you wanna help Momma with something?" She asks mischievously, watching as the child curiously stares back at her, clearly lost in her mother's glassy eyes.

Cory arrives finding his kitchen empty, Topanga neither cooking dinner or setting the table and climbs the stairs, rounding the staircase and finding his youngest child darting towards him voluntarily, lunging into his arms and he takes in the familiar jacket his daughter was practically sinking in.

"She found the jacket?" Cory asks with a smug grin.

"Phoebe, is there something you want to say to daddy?" Topanga hints, pushing her forward.

Phoebe stares blankly at Topanga, suddenly frightened such as a deer in headlights and walks backwards, burying her face into her mother's sweats, rubbing her face around the fabric. Topanga bends down, looking her daughter in the face calmly and smiles.

"Phoebe, why don't you give daddy the jacket?" She encourages.

"Topanga," He begins, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"Cory," She begins as she watches him adjust the coat around his torso, "This is a symbol of our love, when we first said 'I love you'. And though she might never understand it, she's able to wear it because we know we love her. Our family is a symbol of love, God's and our own." She smiles.

As Cory removes his hands, reaching to wrap his cheesy yet adorable bride into his arms he pauses, fumbling his hands around in his pockets once more with suspicion, and he knew there was more. Topanga's face lit up, watching anxiously as he pulled it inside out and watched as the object dropped to the floor.

"Topanga," He gasps as he normally would, watching as Phoebe picked it up and curiously turned it in her hands.

"I guess sometimes God's plans for our 'puzzle', are greater than ours, and every little beautiful piece builds a bigger picture." She adds, slipping the pregnancy test from Phoebe's hands and handing it to her astonished husband.

"Oh boy," He exclaims nervously yet still excitement in his voice, hugging her tightly.


	15. Our family(ies) are Growing pt 1

**Attention!** **Please take the time to look at the poll on my profile and vote for the baby's gender and name for baby Matthews #4! It would be appreciated if you would take the time, i've been struggling to come up with some and I would love/appreciate them! Thank you for reading!**

* * *

In the following weeks Topanga's doctor had confirmed her pregnancy and she and Cory had begun to get excited over the arrival of the newest little one. Though Topanga (unsure if it was hormones or just general emotions) had felt an abundance of things from nervousness to small panic attacks in the middle of the night, she still felt complete and satisfied with their newest and positively last, Matthews' child.

Her Ob- Gyn had explained that panic attacks and nervousness weren't uncommon especially for moms who had experience miscarriage before, and reminded her that the safest part of pregnancy was always going to be after the delivery of the child, but the risk of miscarriage would decrease as her pregnancy went on.

It was finally when Topanga had reached her fourteenth week that it began becoming more obvious, to a point where baggy clothing became suspicious and that her jeans didn't button, that Topanga and Cory realized that it was time to tell the kids, not only the fact that Topanga was pregnant, but her sudden outbursts weren't just purely stress from taking care of Phoebe during the long nights. But when Topanga and Cory had come to the conclusion weeks before that their home was downsizing, they realized the news of the pregnancy was going to be harder to accustom to when the girls found out they were moving.

"Kids," Cory began, watching Topanga as she pushed her food around her plate and suspiciously covered her mouth, feeling a wave of slight nausea over her.

Maya and Riley glared at each other, Maya with a hunch the same as the one she had the first time Topanga had announced her pregnancy with Phoebe, and groaned, waiting for Riley to catch on. But secretly Maya had hoped that _that_ was the news, after moving in with the Matthews a few months ago, and feeling as if she was the one receiving another new sibling as well.

"Your mom and I feel as though our apartment is getting too small, especially with the addition of that," He pauses and points to Maya, Maya flashing him a fake smile back."We're gonna need more room with five kids around here, and I don't see how living here is gonna make that work."

"Dad," Riley protested, beginning to stand. "This is where we grew up, this is where we're gonna graduate! This is where-"

"Hey, why is everything so over the top with you Riles?" She laughs reassuringly, "Your parents are just saying they want to look for bigger places to live. They said nothing about leaving school or New York." Maya confronts her, pushing her back down on the bench.

Cory mouths 'Thank you' while Topanga rolls her eyes, then watches as Auggie looks to Phoebe, pulling her hands down from her face and smiling proudly at her, his hands in hers.

"Phoebe! It looks like another baby is gonna steal your thunder." He teases gently, kissing her excitedly on top of her curly head.

"Auggie," Riley began again before pausing and glancing at her parents. "Another baby?" She lowered her voice in disbelief and Cory could only sense the calm before the storm.

"Riles, you're shaking." Maya calmly warns her, resting her hands on Riley's shoulders.

Riley looks to Phoebe innocently playing with her potatoes, squishing the flakes between her fingers, clearly oblivious to the previous conversation, or anything her brother had been trying to tell her.

"Mom, Dad? What makes you think it's okay to add another baby?! Phoebe needs you and a lot of help yet! How could you possibly think we could add another baby into this chaos!" She shakes, tears stinging her eyes.

She realized immediately what she said had been hurtful,and turned to Maya, gesturing with her eyes to leave and meet in the bay window, wanting to take the attention and pressure off of herself, feeling guilty for ruining what was supposed to be a wonderful moment.

"Mom, i'm really sorry; And I'm really am happy for you, but I'm really worried for Phoebe and it's just too much right now." Riley mutters, walking around the table and hugging her from behind before taking off to the bay window.

"What we mean is, congrats Mrs. Matthews!" Maya chips in, smiling as she sits beside Topanga, her arms wrapped around her.

Topanga sighs, looking to her husband who rises from the table, setting down his knife and napkin, making his way towards the staircase and up to Riley's room, Maya close behind.

"Riles, honey? This isn't about the baby, is it?" Cory coaxes as he sits beside her.

Riley looks at her feet, shuffling her feet back and forth in front of her as she quietly whispers her answer and shaking her head, looking to Maya for back up and reassurance.

"You guys have done an amazing job with Phoebe, and she's only going to grow more. But how can she have the help she needs when your attention is gonna be taken from her and given to the new baby? How do you guys possibly think you could get up in the middle of the night with two children now!"

"Yeah Matthews, you're not exactly a morning person. Any good teacher would be at school early and here you still are at seven-thirty, eating breakfast." Maya remarks sarcastically.

Cory glances at Maya and she scoots down the bench a couple inches, still close enough to wrap her arm around Riley's shoulder and Riley reaches up her hand, holding Maya's in hers.

"Is that what you think will happen? Girls, people change people and Phoebe has only changed all of us for the better. Because of your guys's help and support, we're able to go place and became more patient, flexible...willing."

"And God sees us as the right parents for another baby. He never gives us more than we can handle." Topanga adds, smiling from around the doorway, her hand on her small baby bump.

"Our worlds, their changing, and this baby is just another piece of the puzzle of a bigger, more beautiful picture. I promise Riles, he or she is gonna make our world's feel even fuller. We're gonna find out where we belong is this world as we grow, but things are gonna keep changing and we're just gonna keep rotating around."

Maya smiles, leaning her head on Riley's shoulder, and watching as Riley reaches out her hand to her mother, motioning her to the window. Her mother sits between Riley and Maya, sandwiching her between her mother and father. Riley puts her hands on either side of her mother's stomach, smiling as she leans over and talks to the baby.

"Princess Dancing Sunshine Ray, junior." She whispers and Maya only laughs in a making fun kind of way.

"Yeah, you don't get a say in what we name this baby." Cory insists sarcastically.

"Why not?" Riley infers.

"Because if we left it up to you, this child's name would sound like something straight out of Candy Land or Rainbow River, or wherever your 'Riley thoughts' come from." Maya adds, laughing.

 **-XXX-**

"Cory? Cory wake up!" Topanga springs up from her bed, cold chills being sent up her spine and her breathing quick but shallow.

Cory finds his wife, barely five months pregnant, pacing the floor of their bedroom as she struggled to relax, sobbing profusely but trying to hush them as not to wake Phoebe in her bed next door. She gasps as she struggled to regain her breath and Cory sits up, walking over to his wife and holding her in his arms, rocking side to side with her as he helps her calm down.

"Topanga, instead of focusing on whatever you just dreamt of, breath and tell me what I can do that can help you relax." He consoles her, kissing her on the side of the head.

Topanga stood at barely five-foot-one without any heels, and Cory stood a few inches short of six feet. He held his small wife to his chest, rubbing his hands on her back reassuringly and knew that this wasn't something that could be forgotten or something she could get over, and Cory's heart ached knowing that they had faced the most difficult three years any family could, and his wife was the first that would stress over everyone before worrying about herself.

"Topanga, listen to me," He brushes hair from her face, "Nothing is in your control, and anxiety isn't something you can just 'turn' off, but trust me; God's piece of our puzzle is what he sees fit, and we're comforted knowing that. We've got this; My mother had four kids, and Josh was kind of an unexpected surprise, to say the very least."

Topanga releases herself from Cory and paces more, trying to relax and she rests her hands on her hips and closes her eyes, pacing back and forth throughout the room, moving one hand reassuringly to her stomach, remembering just seconds before when she had felt butterflies, and realized that it had been the baby, reminding her that he or she was okay.

"Where are you going?" Asked Cory curiously as Topanga grabbed the afghan off the back of the rocking chair and walked out into the hall.

Cory found his wife that morning snuggled beside Phoebe in her bed and wondered how she could possibly be comfortable. When his daughter and Maya had found her they expressed their concern but Cory warned them not to wake her, implying that they had better be ready for school in twenty minutes.

When Topanga had finally trudged down the stairs after everyone had left except Cory, she sat wearily at the kitchen table, her laptop open and finger on the mouse pad, searching for any locations near the kids' schools rather than working from home, seeing as her paperwork wasn't due until that Friday.

"Cory, i'm not so sure of packing up the kids and just leaving. This is their home; Riley and Maya will be out in a couple of years and this is where they should stay."

"Topanga, just six months ago we moved Phoebe back into her own room to help her cope with herself! How are we gonna be able to fit three of us in our bedroom plus the crib? And what about Phoebe? We can't go back on the progress we made with her sleeping in her own room." He insists, listing all the facts to make sure and persuade an emotion and vulnerable Topanga.

Topanga sighed, resting her chin in her left palm and feeling as if a short four months wouldn't be enough despite looking for more room for the growing family to live. It was then that she heard it, Phoebe's slippery footsteps and her blanket dragging down the stairs that she sat up and lunged for the stairs as quick as her belly would allow.

Something as simple as Phoebe climbing steps could be dangerous unsupervised if she had one of her spells where she lost all control over her body, practically daytime sleepwalking even though she was awake, and Topanga could hear by the way her feet carelessly sounded as if they were slipping off the steps that Phoebe was in a trance like state. Like a gazelle she lunged, holding out her arms and withdrawing the breath she had been holding in, trying to carry Phoebe over her small baby bump and was thankful she had only made it down three steps.

Topanga hoists her on her hip, lifting the weighted blanket and rubbing the corner soothingly on Phoebe's face, setting her down on the couch, careful not to startle her, but safely keep an eye on her from the kitchen as to make sure she didn't wander out of sight.

"Phoebe," Topanga knelt down to her level, looking her in the face, "Mommy needs you to listen to me, and stay right in your seat." She gently informs her, watching as Phoebe's eyes fluttered and she leaned softly against the couch, slowly becoming less overwhelmed and Topanga again sensed the calm before the storm, complete sensory overdrive.

Topanga sat beside her daughter, the blanket covering them both as she watched Phoebe contently rub the corner of the blanket on her chin, her hands weaved in the stitched holes. Topanga feels Phoebe lean over and rest her head on her stomach, drawing a curious look from the child when she sits back up and rubs her tummy, trying to comprehend why her mother's squishy tummy, one that provided a pillow for her when she was sick, was suddenly so hard.

Topanga happily leaned over and pulled Phoebe's doll off of their coffee table, cradling it in her arms and rocking it before leaning over to show Phoebe, and watching as she tried to do the same.

"This is your baby Phoebe, just like the one mommy has in her tummy." She encourages her gently, passing the doll softly and smiling as Phoebe hugs it in her arms.

"Bebe," Phoebe croaks and Topanga smiles as she watches Phoebe attempt to connect the sign for 'Baby' with her doll.

Topanga beams as she proudly watched as her daughter's face light up, a lightbulb literally clicking as she corresponded the two, something she hadn't been able to clearly do. It had been many times before when Phoebe mixed up objects and their signs, pointing to the neighbor's dog and signing 'Rat' when the small chihuahua mix ran across the carpet, and Topanga wasn't sure whether to laugh or be horrified that someone had actually taught her that sign.

Phoebe sighs, laying back on the side of her mother's stomach and Topanga's heart dropped, realizing how precious life of a toddler and unborn child really were. Her heart ached thinking of the miscarriage she had, the target of why this pregnancy she was experiencing so much anxiety, even knowing from heaven this baby a part of their family, but the part where she would have actually have held her in her arms made her heart sink, an overwhelming gratefulness for this new and healthy baby, not resentment.

Had she not miscarried before, " _No.",_ She thought to herself, unable to imagine her life having gone any other way, content and please with the blessing of being able to even carry another baby.

"We love you 'Bea." Topanga smiles down at Phoebe stroking the hair on her doll, "And we wouldn't have it any other way.". She announced confidently.

 **-XXX-**

Cory and Topanga drove fifteen minutes out of their way, searching for the old brick house in it's own little dead-end subdivision in the middle of no-where right outside the city. It sat at the end of the street, the very last house standing two-stories high to the left, full, green and welcoming oak trees lining the backyard of the property, becoming visible as they drove up the gravel driveway and parked right in front of the garage.

They each climbed out, greeting the small brunette lady waiting patiently with her clipboard on the cement walk leading to their door, smiling as she welcomed the family and shook each of their hands before they entered the home, except for Phoebe, whom she gave a gentle shake before turning quickly and uncomfortably to unlock the door.

"Kids, Ms. Rosie has agreed to show us our home one final time before we enclose on it." Cory smiles, grabbing his wife's hand proudly.

Maya and Riley instantly ran through the back hall and up the narrow, carpeted staircase to search the rooms, their hearts dropping when they realized there was not in fact, a bay window despite their parent's promise to search for a home that had one.

"Maya," Riley's voice broke, making a circle in place to glance around the room.

"Riley, does it really matter? I mean, anywhere we go we can create our own bay window. It's not the window that makes it home, it's being able to have any place I know that we can talk together." Maya hugs her overwhelmed friend, throwing her arms around her shoulders.

Cory and Topanga walk in through the door, Auggie holding his younger sister's hand and placing himself beside Riley and Maya near the window sitting low on the wall, nearly Maya's head length when sitting.

"Maya's right Riley; It's not the window that feels safe, it's knowing that you have a shelter to escape to during the storms. Where you know that you're always going to find each other to solve conflicts." Topanga adds.

"So do you like the new home?" Cory implies, receiving disapproving looks from the girls.

"How you doin'?" Topanga asks solicitously, knowing this wasn't going to be an easy move.

 **-XXX-**

Topanga detaches the wooden letters of Phoebe's name from her bedroom wall, handing them to Riley and Maya who had happily agreed to help pack up despite being unsure about the move.

Riley arranges Phoebe's old baby clothes in a donation box, assuming her mother was getting rid of them because she secretly knew the new baby was a boy, but Topanga only claimed that she was donating old clothes that Phoebe had created stains on so far gone that not even the strongest bleach could remove, but knew their church accepted donations for homeless teen mothers.

"So it seems that our little brother wouldn't look great in girl clothes, would he?" Riley tries to hint Slyly and Maya only smiles.

"Riles for the last time, she's not going to tell us what the baby is going to be because she doesn't even know." Maya reminds her.

"Or does she?" Riley eyes up her mom, leaning in close and smiling mysteriously at her, trying to psychoanalyze everything her mother had told her.

Topanga only laughs, shaking her head at her quirky and eccentric daughter, and hugged her as she sat in the rocking chair to rest her swollen ankles. Cory and Auggie then followed by Phoebe enter the room.

"Actually your mother and I decided we wanted to hear your name opinions. We want to see what you can come up with for the baby."

They sat in the living room later that night, crowded around the small coffee table, Cory with a baby book in hand and Topanga running a pencil across the paper of a notebook as she scribbles down names.

"Maya, what do you got?" Cory asks her, looking up.

"Lucy." She replies shortly.

"That's a beautiful name Maya! Why'd you pick it?" Riley asks curiously.

"Because it sounds like Lucas!" Auggie teases her quietly, but quickly sits down when Maya glares at him, reminding him of their little agreement.

Topanga sighs, shifting uncomfortably in her arm chair, the one of few items they still hadn't packed, waiting to carry over the big stuff when Cory's parents and Josh came to help.

"Riley- So help me," Cory first mutters to himself, turning to his bubbly daughter, "What would you name your brother or sister?"

"For a boy, Ocean, and… Molly for a girl." She proudly smiles, patting her mother's belly behind her.

Auggie kneels, sitting up further so that he can be noticed, adjusting Phoebe to sit calmly on his lap, ready to speak for the both of them before Ava, who had been separating herself from the bunch in the kitchen, could pipe up and throw in whatever opinion she was waiting to spring on them.

"August?" Cory turns to his youngest son.

"Something about Ocean just feels right to me, if it's a boy, it will sound good with Auggie, just as Phoebe does with Riles and Maya. But really it doesn't matter what it is."

Auggie smiles, standing up and sitting on his mother's crowded lap, locking his hand in hers and leaning his head on her shoulder. Phoebe cuddles around Topanga's toes and Topanga remembers Auggie near that age, anticipating the arrival of his younger sister, but with Phoebe this felt all too different, her not really understanding the importance of sharing her mother, and couldn't bring herself to imagine the challenges with Phoebe and a newborn, hoping that there was no sense of abandonment to be felt.


	16. Baby Matthews (Pt 2)

Only in New York could it go from beautiful and warm, sunny May day to freezing temperatures in less than twelve hours, and the day baby Matthews' number four was born was to say the least, unexpectedly brisk. School had been called off that morning and Topanga called into work since she had been having contractions since four that morning and they were still too far apart to even think of leaving yet.

"Good morning Mrs. -woah." Maya stops in her tracks, watching Topanga pacing the floor with her hands on her hips and her belly thrusted out as her head leaned back, breathing deeply until the pain would subside.

Topanga stopped and glared at Maya as she instantly regretted her unnecessary commentary, and immediately she and Riley grabbed an arm and helped Topanga to the couch.

"Mom, is there anything we can help with?" Riley offers, taking her place next to her mom on the couch.

"Could you please get your father?" Topanga moans, anticipating the next contraction real soon.

Maya sat beside Topanga at the end of the couch, Topanga turning slightly and throwing her legs slowly over Maya's lap, and Maya outreaches her hand, holding Topanga's in hers through another contraction. Meanwhile Riley practically sprinted up the steps, tripping onto the carpet as she misses the top step.

"Dad!" Riley literally pants out, rounding the corner of her parent's bedroom.

Cory looks up from his lesson plans to watch his daughter collapse on the end of their bed, smiling enthusiastically at her father as he waits, waiting for an explanation. She pulls her father off the bed, papers flying everywhere as she escorts her downstairs to her mother. Topanga leans back on the arm of the couch, Maya groaning as she massages Topanga's calves.

"Cory," She looks up to her husband, grinning excitedly but anxiety a wrecking havoc in her body, "It's time." She finished, nervous that it was probable that this would be the last time she would get to utter those words through an unruly contraction.

Because Phoebe couldn't handle the overstimulation of being in a hospital waiting room, and because Riley and Maya wanted to tag along despite her parents pleas to watch her sister and brother even after the last time was a disaster, they dropped their youngest two off at Ava's apartment and called Shawn to pick them up later, including Maya and Riley. They were after all, too old for a babysitter, and too mature to hang around with Ava.

Deja vu was what everything that was happening around them was called, except this time the weather was colder and the roads frosty despite having been wearing tank tops and capris the day before. Now Topanga sat in the passenger side with her winter coat draped but not zipped over her stomach because she hadn't anticipated when she was nine months pregnant that she'd need a coat in the middle of May.

"Cory, you drive like your mother." Topanga groans, anxious for her epidural though last time she vowed it was her last pregnancy she wanted to go all natural and caved in, and this time she didn't even think twice.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know realize that you'd rather we slide off the road and give birth to our child in the snow." He remarks sarcastically as she rolls her head back in pain.

 _Just two months before, Maya had received her license and had been sent to the grocery store with Auggie and Riley to give Topanga a break. When they had returned home Topanga was leaning over the edge of the coach, nausea taking control of her body as she felt a wave run over her and leaned to vomit in the blue plastic bowl beside her. Phoebe was curled up in a ball in a lawn chair, sucking her thumb from beneath her blanket, the quietest she had been all morning._

" _Mrs. Matthews, are you okay?" Maya wonders as she comes back from the kitchen, cold and wet washcloth in hand, offering it to her and she gratefully takes it._

" _Could you girls look after Phoebe until your father gets home?" She slurs, leaning back over her bowl and Maya and Riley turn in disgust, Riley's face plastered with sympathy._

 _Riley lifted her sister from the chair and outreached her hand, offering it to the hesitant preschooler who took it, slipping her hand in her sister's and following her and Maya up the stairs, Auggie instead staying downstairs and finding himself snoozing off into the beanbag that had replaced their armchair and had been instead replaced by three children's lawn chairs and a teal bean bag, the few pieces of furniture that had yet to be moved to the new house._

 _Topanga moved from the couch, trudging from the livingroom to the kitchen, grabbing a plastic cup and filling it with water. It wasn't until she was covered from the neck down in water that she realized that she had dropped it from her shaking hands pouring it into her mouth onto herself. But as she reached for a cloth a sudden dizziness took over her body such as a headrush from laying down too long, and she leaned forward onto the counter, resting her head in her arms to darken the room and swaying her bent hips from side to side._

" _Mom?" She feels Auggie's hand on her back, "Are you sure you're okay?" He asks innocently._

 _Topanga's knees gave out from beneath her and she could only hold onto the counter and slowly fall down onto her butt, leaning herself back against the cabinets and feeling the room spin as she felt her heart palpitating, anxiety wrecking her body as her thoughts instantly shifted to her unborn child._

" _Riles? Maya?!" Auggie screeched, scared as any child would be, watching their mother collapse on the floor._

 _Maya drove them to the hospital, Phoebe half buckled in her seat, and Auggie and Riley nervously watching as traffic slowed and Topanga groaned. Cory had promised to meet them at the hospital and upon arriving he met them in the waiting room and followed the nurses into his wife's exam room._

 _After two and a half hours she had only been put on bedrest and anxiety medication, not that it would make a difference, Topanga's nerves heightened by all that had happened and the fact that she was soon to be a mother of four, two under the age of four._

"The jerks!" Cory snarled as the traffic moved slower on the road, following ten cars behind a salt truck.

"Cory, get off the exit here." Topanga points out her window, her contractions now only three minutes apart.

They had already spent an hour and a half in traffic, cars moving slowly especially during rush hour, everyone moving slowly but surely towards work for those who still had jobs to attend despite the roads. Cory was only supposed to have a two hour delay, as was most of New York, but had called in the moment Topanga decided that the baby would be coming that day.

"Ugh- I'm starving Mr. Matthews! Can we pull of the next exit?" Maya groans.

"Maya!" Riley scuffs, slapping her jokingly.

"Chim-ee-chon-ga!" She gestures, pretending to shove food into her mouth with each syllable.

Traffic wasn't much better off the freeway however the sun poked its face through the dark, gray, wintery clouds, the snow glimmering as it began to melt with the slowly rising temperatures and Cory sighed with relief, thankful that this baby wasn't gonna be born in the car today because truly it had been something he feared but knew better than to even complain to Topanga, nearly turning her daughter's hand blue with her iron like grip.

The rest of the trip was quiet but the tension in the air was thick, Maya staring out the window while trying to forget the fact that her hand was now falling off from taking Topanga's other hand. They were fourteen minutes away and the only thing holding them back was the fear of traffic, until Cory heard a small phrase break the silence in the van, the last thing he needed to hear after a rough nine months.

"Cory," Her voice wavered, "We're not going to make it; The head!" She mumbles furiously under her breath, praying the girls didn't hear her and that her husband would stay focused.

"Oh… no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" Maya mutters as Cory screeches.

"Cory Matthews! You're a grown man!" She scolds him, grabbing for his hand and looking in the mirror back at the mortified girls.

"Riley honey, I'm gonna need a string from one of your shoes and a towel or sweatshirt."

Topanga, despite her terrified insides churning from beneath her, held a calm outer persona, instructing her daughter calmly in case this was the place that she would give birth in the next ten or so minutes. They came quicker, such as thunder and clouds bashing together to intensify a storm, and she thanked the Lord she hadn't had her youngest two with her.

"We've got you mom; Whatever happens, we're in it together." Riley pats her shoulder, moving her seat back and allowing her mom to lay back.

"How you doing, Mrs. Matthews?" Maya smiles over her seat, preparing to take on the biggest responsibility of her life if need be.

At nine thirty-seven that sunny May morning, a small cry broke through the minivan and the Matthews fell silent. It had been the first time and the last that any child would be born in that minivan of theirs.

"Oh boy," Cory groaned.

 **-XXX-**

Baby Matthews arrival was in quite a dramatic and unique way, one in which none of the Matthew's could of predicted. When they arrived at the hospital they were greeted by nurses waiting by the entrance, taking the baby from their mother's chest and wrapping them in a foil blanket, tucking the cord tied with Maya's boot lace around it and Topanga was put into a wheelchair, taken for examination.

Maya and Riley waited on the couch in the waiting room, Maya hanging upside down, gaining dirty stares from the staff while Riley twirled her long, dark hair around her fingers, nervously picking through her split ends.

"Girls, where's your father?" A familiar voice echoed from behind the blue couch and Maya jumped, nearly falling on her head.

"Shawn!" Maya exclaimed, jumping up and into his arms before pulling back, glancing curiously at the ring on his left hand. "You didn't!" She gasps.

"The lucky lady took this trip with me to meet my three favorite nieces. Unless, there's another girl?" He hints.

Maya smiles from Shawn to Riley, wrapping her arms around his side and squeezing him, excited to see her 'father'/ 'uncle, there to meet his newest niece of nephew.

"We don't know; She had the baby right as we pulled up to the hospital. Cory wrapped the baby up in his sweatshirt before we could see and then the baby was taken away." She informs him.

Shawn awkwardly blows air from his cheeks, tucking his hands in his back pockets and rocking on his heels, then takes Maya's water bottle, lifting his pinky and drinking with dignity, clearly trying to cover up the fact that he too was nervous and surprised for his best friend and his wife.

"Shawny!" He suddenly hears Cory exclaim from down the hall, breaking the awkward moment, "This is gotta be one of the greatest days ever!" He lifts Shawn up.

"Hold on to your dignity, daddy." Shawn mutters sarcastically, smiling over his shoulders to the girls.

Cory sets him down, sweeping off his pants, adjusting the collar of his shirt and cleang his throat, taking a step back and looking to all of them.

"Where's the wife Shawny?" Cory implies.

Cory suddenly feels two cold hands cover his eyes from behind, taking him by surprise and yet still he slightly expected it, screeching as he heard the familiar voice of the beautiful brunette.

"Guess who?" She plays, Cory screeching again and receiving a loud "Shush" from the nurses behind the desk.

"Mom? What did you do to your hair?!" Maya exclaims, obviously missing the real reason why Cory was surprised.

"Maya? Your mom's new man is Shawn?!" Riley exclaims in disbelief.

 **-XXX-**

They all enter, standing in the doorway of the hospital room and watching as Topanga glowed, contently watching her new child suck the bottle the hospital had given her to feed them, their tiny size a concern but nonetheless was healthy in all other areas.

"Hey sweetface!" Riley cooed quietly, seeing her sibling up close for the first time, "Look Maya, isn't he precious?" Riley infers and Topanga shakes her head.

"I'm thinking 'he' is really a 'she', Riles." Maya smiles, exchanging glares with Topanga.

"I can't win!" Auggie exclaims, throwing his hands up as he jumps on the foot of the bed, and Topanga and Cory glare at each other, biting their lips to hold back an amused laugh.

"Auggie, aren't you happy to have all these great women in our lives?" Cory reminds him and Auggie only smiles.

"I guess she is kind of cute; She's got lots of my hair."

It was true: The baby hadn't just been born with a fine downy coat but luscious, thick locks that curled up at the ends. Her hair was full and gorgeous, the heartburn Topanga had experienced all coming together to make sense and she smiled, her daughter's blue-gray eyes fluttering with sleep.

Maya stares astonished at her, realizing how every individual piece of God's puzzle could be unique: the size, the shape, the colors, but they all came together to make a bigger and more beautiful picture. It was then Topanga offered the baby to her and Maya accepted, cradling her head gently sitting in the chair beside the bed.

"Do you remember how you said that family isn't just blood, but the ones you want in your life?" Maya looks up, "Well living with you has proved this true, and I'm thinking adoption wouldn't be so bad to pursue one day, especially after helping Mrs. Matthews bring her into the world." She laughs, receiving approving laughs from the rest.

"What's her name, mom?" Riley longs to know.

"Harper… or Eloise? No Evie! Or maybe even Ocean or even Coral? We're still working this out." Topanga beams, glancing at Cory.

"Woah- so you're a bit indecisive, heh Cory?" Shawn smirks, "We're going to have to take her to the ski lodge and decide if we like her." He teases, gaining a disapproving stare from Cory but a lighthearted laugh from Topanga.

"What do you think 'Bea?" Topanga asks as she's lifted up by her father.

Phoebe leans forward and hugs her sister with a blank expression, clearly not understanding the importance of the touching moment but seeing her sister coddling the baby in her arms before had made her want to run over and cuddle her mom, seeing what all the "buzz" was about.

"Bebe?" Phoebe looks up, smiling proudly as her mother nodded, coaching Phoebe's hand, rubbing the baby gently over the tummy.

"You're a big sister Phoebe, and I couldn't be happier for any of you." Topanga kisses her on top of the head, her heart glowing with the pride she could only explain as one a mother would feel towards her kids.


	17. Lucaya meets truth

Harper Elise Matthews was just four days old when Phoebe celebrated her fourth birthday at their new home. Cory and Topanga had anticipated this day all year, planning ahead as to make sure this birthday hadn't been a disaster like the three before. They had learned from early on that Phoebe could not withstand all the attention she received and absolutely had a distaste with a passion for birthday cake and ice cream, so every year the Matthews would celebrate differently than most families.

So on her birthday they made sure to make her feel special without overdoing it, making sure she knew that despite the new baby she was still loved and cared for, and to avoid overstimulation, the Matthews had decided to post-pone any finishing touches they were going to add to their new home at the last minute and instead, curled up on their couch inside their new home, popping in Phoebe's favorite movie and snuggling with her on the couch while they enjoyed popcorn Phoebe had helped her exhausted mother prepare.

Harper had stirred from her sleep at least three times during the duration of the movie, unconsciously searching for her own food, which Topanga raised off the couch slowly to retrieve, zombie- walking to the kitchen to prepare her formula, the one and only Matthews' child that had trouble latching, and Topanga being unable to provide her the nutrients through her milk that she needed.

 _Phoebe's first birthday wasn't how any parent would expect or even imagine it to be, a special day right next to her birth that every parent looked forward to, celebrating the child's first year of milestones and accomplishments. Phoebe's however, wasn't like they would have expected._

 _She had yet to learn what of her own two feet were capable of, the only child that by the time she was six months of age that still had not explored what it was like to try and fit all ten toes in her mouth. She now crawled, that she could do with ease, but when it came to cruising around furniture, she would be stood up by her concerned parents or siblings, only to fall onto her butt the minute they would be placed upright on the carpet._

 _On top of the being physically behind her other peers, she also lacked eye contact or even focus that most one year olds would be able to maintain, becoming unintentionally difficult to communicate with or even understand._

 _On the day of her birthday Topanga had placed her in her highchair at the table and placed a bib that read 'Wild One'' on her, the rest of the family and Maya gathered around to watch her devour her first piece of cake, waiting for her to smash her face into it like every child her age would, and happily squeal as they curiously explored the strange, new sweetness of frosting._

" _Go ahead Phoebe." Riley encouraged, grabbing her wrist and dipping one of her fingers in it, waiting for her to suck it off._

 _Phoebe stuck her hand in and the Matthews watched as if oozed through her small fingers, twisting her face with sudden curiosity as she slowly brought it to her mouth, touching just the tip of her tongue to her finger. It was then that she grabbed a handful, shoving the entirety of it into her mouth and instantly sputtered, pushing it out of her mouth with her tongue as her family watched it drool out, dribbling down her chin._

 _It was from that moment on that she had wanted nothing to do with the cake, screaming as loud as her small lungs would allow, resembling the piercing screams of a siren during a tornado, not that in New York they had ever experienced such a thing and hoped never to._

 _Topanga grabbed a wet wash cloth, wiping the frosting from her fingers, hands, wrists and face, then continuing to remove the bib and Phoebe from her chair, cuddling the distraught and overwhelmed toddler in her arms, rocking her back and forth on the couch while the rest of the family finished their pieces' of cake, watching helplessly and confused to Phoebe's mini-meltdown._

 _Her second and third birthday weren't much better, but at least by the time her third one came around, they knew exactly what to avoid, and not to even give cake a second chance, or experiment. It was then, on her third birthday, that they had thought of another birthday treat that might be much better, after all, it was just frozen milk, and Phoebe loved chocolate milk. That was, they had forgotten, only when it was warmed up._

 _Needless to say, her third birthday had led to a long, sleepless night for everyone, and they had no one to blame but themselves, not forcing Phoebe to eat the ice cream but encouraging her to at least take one bite, pushing her over the edge._

" _Calm body, Calm hands." Topanga chanted calmly into her ear, rocking her tightly in her arms back and forth in the old wooden chair._

 _Topanga's butt had become to feel numb, and she shifted ever so slightly, trying to get comfortable despite rocking so often she had gotten used to losing all feeling in her arms from Phoebe's weight and in her bottom. She even had felt like she had sea legs, every night spent rocking Phoebe for hours on end and once she stood she felt as if she was walking on water._

Her fourth birthday had been somewhat successful, but no more successful than any night Cory and Topanga could avoid a meltdown or anything that caused her to become easily overstimulated. She had fell asleep on the couch, and Harper had been laid down in her pack n' play long before to go to bed, and since they had just moved in and had yet to assemble her big girl bed, she slept between her mother and father.

When Harper woke up crying, Phoebe had woke up crying much the same, the vicious cycle continuing all night and her parents prayed it was only a phase. But as the entire week passed and Phoebe had only averaged two hours of sleep each night, much less than her younger sister, her parents grew concerned, until one day they realized of the special bond and understanding of emotions she seemed to have towards her sister.

Topanga had burst into tears after searching for Phoebe around the new house for just five minutes, until she had crept into the baby's room and found her older daughter snuggling Harper, sound asleep as Harper squirmed, wide awake and content beneath her sister's arm. It was a sight that warmed her heart, knowing that they found comfort in each other as Phoebe normally did with Maya and Riley, and she couldn't bring herself to wake her, so instead gently lifted Phoebe's arm, tucking it beneath the receiving blanket, and turning up her own baby monitor so that she could keep a close eye (or ear?) on her girls. It was from that day on that Phoebe had her ups and downs with her new sibling, some days wanting to just have her mother to herself, and other days snuggling up with her mom whenever she would be holding or feeding Harper.

Potty training had to begin, after all, two children in diapers was getting to be too much for the fourth time mom. She and Cory both knew that children with disabilities were later to accomplish such tasks, but they both had faith that they could slowly yet surely do it, remembering how during the last few months, though the attempts weren't great, they began to ease Phoebe into using the potty.

She screamed as her face rested against the cool, linoleum tiles of the bathroom floor, refusing to calm down for a good forty minutes before Topanga took her in her lap, holding her arms firmly to her body and rocking with her body back and forth. She then reached behind her, pulling the basket they had set beside the toilet full of books close, and reaching for her favorite, ' _The very Hungry Caterpillar'_. Her mother encouraged her to use her motor skills to flip the cardboard pages, narrating her through the adventures while simultaneously teaching her different colors, fruits, and shapes.

"Phoebe, why don't you pick out another book that we can read on the potty?" Her mother coaxes her, sitting her on the toilet and holding out the basket for her to reach into.

Phoebe crosses her arms, jutting out her bottom lip in a pouty sulk and kicks her heels against the porcelain bowl, making a loud _click, click,_ sound as her sandals thrust against it. Topanga didn't hear her youngest crying until Phoebe had stuttered in between fits, Topanga slightly opening the door to shout down the hall.

"Riley? Can you warm up Harper's bottle for me please?" She shouts down the hall.

"Can't mom, busy!" She echos back.

"NOW please!" She sighs furiously, clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth impatiently, trying not to blow her top.

Phoebe screamed, climbing off the toilet with her pants down and waddling into her parents bedroom, throwing herself onto the floor. It was then that Topanga had shut the door, sliding down it before crawling over and lowering herself into her tub, closing the curtain around her before sinking down, sobbing profusely, feeling as if she was a bottle of soda pop being shaken and shaken until the lid just fizzed off, her emotions bubbling out of control and pouring over. She hadn't realized everything, all the emotions flooding over her and stretching her thin until then because up until that moment she had tried to keep her cap screwed on tight.

"Mom?" She hears her oldest daughter shout, fear in her shaky voice.

Topanga wipes her hand across her nose, groaning with anticipation as to what her daughter and Maya could have caused by simply just making a bottle and she trudged over to the sink, splashing her face with cool water before returning downstairs, realizing she couldn't hide from her fears.

"I've failed as a mother," She muttered to herself upon entering the kitchen, glancing around to the mess that awaited her. "Riley, how could you possibly mess up making a bottle?" She asks with a blank tone, unable to even overreact due to being so overwhelmed and exhausted.

The microwave hung open, the formula a wet mess dripping off the door and making a puddle on the floor and inside the microwave, the bottle dripping onto the stove with whatever was left of it. Topanga felt the back of her eyes sting with tears as she looked to her oldest, nervously scrunching her face as she waited for Topanga to rage, but she didn't.

She turned around, bending over best she could and grabbed two washcloths from the kitchen drawers, handing one to Riley and one to Maya, then grabbed Harper from her swing and calmly walked back up the stairs, but not before pausing to turn to her oldest daughter.

"Riley," She sighs, "Bottles don't go in the microwave sweetheart. You're supposed to warm it up in the sink." She shakes her head, leaving Maya and Riley to stare at each other shamefully.

"Your dad's going to freak!" Maya eventually offers as she grins, receiving a disapproving glare from Riley.

Later that night when Topanga hadn't yet crawled in bed, Cory found his wife in their youngest's room, rocking her even long after she had fallen asleep. Besides her, more towards her feet was Phoebe, snuggling her weighted blanket and sucking her thumb deep in sleep, and Cory sighed, seeing the emotional toll these late nights were putting on his wife despite having done this with Phoebe since day one.

So he scooped Phoebe up and brought her to her own bed, tucking her beneath her covers, careful not to tuck her in too snug, and walked back to the other room, lifting the baby from his wife's arms and placing her gently in her crib before shaking Topanga, helping her stand up and walking with her arm around his shoulder back to their room where he tucked her in and kissed her forehead, crawling in beside her.

"Thank you, Topanga, for being a wonderful, loving, selfless and patient mother to our kids." He whispers before turning and falling fast asleep.

 **xxx-**

"Maya, how could you not tell me that your mom married Shawn?" Riley interrogates her, leaning in close towards Maya, right in her face.

The two sit in their make-shift bay window, everything redecorated the exact same way it was before, the grayish purple curtains, the pillows and white bench seat with the swirly purple leaves on it, every detail precise to the littlest thing, only the actual window bench missing.

"Riley, we've been through this; For the last time, my mom and I aren't close, but Shawn and I are. I've no idea why this information wasn't passed on to me." She reiterates, breaking it down clearly and slowly for her.

"I thought it was because you didn't want to move. Tell me, how much did you really not know?"

"My home life isn't the greatest, and you knew that Riles. Having Shawn in my life felt as if someone was saying 'I'm here to stay and I care.'. My dad's job was to stay and he didn't. Getting my hopes up for a second chance wasn't worth it. At least now I know, i'm not disappointed."

Riley turns to her, holding Maya's hands in hers and looks her directly in the eyes, smiling as she prepared her for yet another heart to heart, scooting down the bench seat closer as Maya inches farther away.

"It's okay to hope for and believe in something for once Maya! It makes life more interesting! You draw because secretly it's your way of expressing your hopes and dreams through art. Who cares about your past when God has painted an even more better and promising future! Build your puzzle Maya, figure out who you are! Give Shawn and your mother a chance!" Riley encourages, her normal upbeat persona of helping others becoming even more clear.

"Riley, that's sweet, but I'm happy here," She reassures her. "You're not trying to get rid of me, are you?" She adds, teasing her gently.

Riley leans over and side hugs Maya, wrapping her right arm around her neck and pulling her close, and Maya reaches up and wraps her free arm around Riley, returning the hug in which they often shared.

"See, we can make a bay window no matter where we go, as long as we're together." Maya smiles.

"We're always gonna be your family Maya. We're your safe place." Riley reassures her.

"I don't see how we couldn't be after I helped deliver your sister," Maya laughs before watching Riley frown, waiting for the correct answer. "Our sister, you happy?" She adds.

It was then that Riley remembered taking Maya back in time through solely her imagination, showing her what her mother and father had been like as younger kids to prove a point that she couldn't live up to them, but wound up finding out that she was both of them, she was Cory and Topanga. Riley wanted more than anything, despite Maya's claims that she believed her, (though Riley knew she was lying and just wanted to drop the subject) to take Maya back in time a prove to her that she has always been a Matthews, with a lot of Hart, it was who she was, it was what she had become.

People change people and Maya knew down deep inside that she didn't like Lucas, and the only reason he might pick her over Riley is because Riley is what he sees in her. It's always been Riley, she's becoming Riley, and what he's falling in love with isn't her, but more the fact that she's acting like Riley, becoming someone she's not because of years of good influence. Or was it that the true Maya was having an identity crisis? It was the Riley like personality Lucas was falling in love with, not the true Maya herself.

What was she thinking? She couldn't take Lucas from Riley. Then again, the real Maya would fight for what she wanted, what she believed in. And what she believed in was that she would never let a boy put her friendship at stake. She then realized the importance of reflecting on the real reason she was friends with Riley. It was her second home, her safe from the storm.

"Okay Riles, i'll play 'memory lane'." She agrees reluctantly.

"Close your eyes peaches, and tell me one of your stories." She instructs, and Maya hesitantly follows.

"I'm not sure I have any good ones." She adds nervously before feeling Riley's hand grab hers reassuringly.

 _She found herself back in her own bedroom beside Riley and her five year old self, clueless that sixteen year old Maya was there with her. The storm illuminated the sky, lightning dancing and clouds shaking her entire apartment and instantly Maya knew which story she was about to tell._

"This was first storm we faced alone after my dad left." She gasped, feeling her throat tighten at first glance.

 _She heard whimpers beneath the covers and knew instantly that it was her, and as if on cue she saw her mother promptly arrive, bending down and peeking under the covers, gently coaxing her daughter from beneath them._

"So this is how you know of the lights Maya?" Riley smiles amused.

"It sure is," She sighs, feeling bubbly with the distant yet happy memory, "This is the first and last time my mother had ever come by to comfort me after my father had left us. Ever since then, we've grown apart. She started waitressing and becoming too busy for me when she got through the denial stages of this all." She finishes sadly, clearly never coming to terms deep inside that this was how she felt her life was going to be.

 _Maya didn't know that back then, her mother believed that a girl should think well of her father, and that Katy had only tried and protected her feelings, taking the bitter feelings of resentment, and accepting what her daughter had thought of her, though it hurt._

"She was only protecting me Riles; My feelings to make me feel as if it wasn't my fault, she took the blame! I've spent years resenting her until I finally met my dad and he told me he wasn't ready _."_

"Do you ever think your dad felt intimidated by your mom? I mean, your mom's always been stronger _."_ Riley implies.

"You know, it's those who fight the hardest to make sure everyone else is happy that are the weakest, and that's now my mom. My dad thought he didn't have what it took, and gave up on us. Not only did he fail to show up most of the time, he had already felt as if he had left."

 _Though Maya hadn't been there during that moment, she heard many times of the story when her mother found out that she was pregnant with her: the joy, the excitement, the fear. Her mom had only been a part time waitress for a completely run down diner on the other side of New York, newly wed to her father. But what she hadn't heard was the story of when her mother found out that she was pregnant with Maya's sibling, and only vaguely remembered how her mother had completely shut off the outside world when she had miscarried this child at ten weeks._

 _Now at only sixteen years old, she had felt as she lived through far more experiences than the average teen, including moving in with her best friend and her family, delivering their baby, and Phoebe in whom she loved to pieces and loved caring for. Autism meant the world to her and her heart over the years had become passionate towards children with special needs such as Phoebe, a soft spot in which she hadn't know she could feel such tenderness for._

Maya opened her eyes, tears stinging the back of her eyes as she reflected on the last four years and even everything they've been through, the Matthews have never failed to be there to support each other, and Maya knew that she had always been family. She didn't need stories to tell to prove to Riley that she was in a better place, not picture perfect, but the God and the Matthews were all she needed. She had found a family that cared, not only for her but each other.

"Riles, I think it's time we forget the past, and start looking forward the the unknown. Nothing can stay the same, remember? We can't be seven years old forever."

"Maya, you've always said that you were afraid of the unknown. You were afraid when your dad left, afraid when your mom got remarried. You didn't want to change the bay window, you weren't ready for high school," Riley begins to ramble.

"And the only difference between that Maya and me now is that we're learning that change isn't always such a bad thing. The bay window, that doesn't matter because i've figured out that it's the people you're with, not the place." She smiles, interlocking her hand with Riley's, showing her the friendship rings in which they've always worn.

 **-xxx-**

The flu hit the Matthews household like the plague, and when one child fell ill with it, another would follow. Topanga didn't worry about herself getting sick and feeling icky as much as she worried about getting sick for her children's' sake, but still she had fell sick three days earlier and just as she had began to feel better, Riley, Maya, Auggie, and Phoebe, all became ill.

"Mom?" She heard being groaned from the girls' room for at least the fifth time that morning. "Moooom!" She shouted again, putting emphasis on the name.

Topanga herself still felt worn down from the flu, and Cory had warned her not to overwork herself, volunteering to stay home from his end of the year meeting at school to help take care of the girls and Auggie, but Topanga had insisted that she could do it all herself until her got home.

Topanga looked up from her laptop, groaning as she shut the screen from her progress she made on a case she was going to work in just two months, and trudged through the kitchen, grabbing four water bottles from the cabinet, two with ice, room temperature for Phoebe, and warm to almost hot water for Auggie. She grabbed four clean plastic bowls and lined them with grocery bag, and finally grabbed two packs of saltines for the kids to share and headed upstairs.

"Maya? What are you doing?" Topanga exclaims as she nearly trips over Maya, her legs lying outside the bathroom door, but the rest of her body lying on the cool tile.

"Riley puked on my pillow." She groans overdramatically, turning onto her side as she feels the room spin.

Topanga rests a puke bowl by Maya's head and the water bottle beside her arms, leaving a few crackers by her side as well. She bends down before leaving and feels Maya's forehead, proceeding to wet a washcloth under cool water and hands it to her, then folds a towel beneath her head as a makeshift pillow.

"Thanks Mrs. Matthews; You're like the dad I never had." She groans as she rolls over to her stomach.

"Yeah, okay." She mutters, rubbing Maya briefly on the back before going to check on Riley and Auggie.

Riley lay over the edge of her bed, her ponytail resting loosely over her shoulder as her pale face stares blankly into it as if she were contemplating whether or not she really had to puke. Upon entering the room, Riley's face lights up slightly at the sight of her mother and rolls back into bed.

"Oh good, room service s'here." She slurs, Topanga assuming she was joking despite it being said so seriously.

"Riley, i'm not your maid."

"What would you like to be called then?" She asks.

"How about 'Mom'?" She sarcastically suggests.

Riley groans, snatching the water bottle from her mother's hold as she nearly drops it, and scarfs down the water, her stomach bubbling with instant regret at the greediness. Topanga rolls her eyes at her over dramatic teen, wondering how it was possible that Maya was the one who was the least dramatic when sick. Despite her snarky comments, Maya truly showed gratitude towards Topanga's willingness to cater to their every need. She appreciated Mrs. Matthews in a way that couldn't be said through words or shown through pointless gifts.

"And Mom? Don't forget the soup." Riley reaches out, tugging for Topanga's arm as she begins to leave.

"Will that be all master?" Topanga replies sarcastically.

"Well, the water could be colder." Riley suggests.

"You poor, poor thing. I'll bring that up with the sink Gods when I get a chance." She replies annoyed, then chuckling to herself as she rolls her eyes once again, leaving the room.

Topanga dreaded waking Phoebe up, her emotions the most brutal of all of the children. Phoebe had been up all night and not even three doses of children's Tylenol could soothe the child. She had a blazing, uncomfortable fever, constantly kicking Cory and Topanga as she wiggled the sheets off of her in the middle of the night, unable to be consoled by cool wash clothes, medicine, teething rings or anything cool.

Phoebe normally hated cold things, but by four that morning she had given into her body's natural need to fight off the fever and allowed Topanga to assist by giving her a gel ice pack, shaped like a unicorn. Topanga still only gave her room temperature water, knowing that if it was cold she wouldn't drink any at all, and that concerned her more than anything.

"How you doin', Bumble 'Bea ?" Topanga consoles her, kneeling down at the foot of her bed and watching as she hesitantly sipped her water, barely touching it to the tip of her tongue before spitting it back out.

Topanga brushed back her sweaty hair from her face, her usually springy curls matted against her forehead and her cheeks flushed, looking sicker than she was giving off. Phoebe could not normally understand or control her emotions, but when it came to sickness she was absolutely wiped out, curled up like a dog in its kennel. She clearly understood that there were just some things you couldn't do when you're sick, and all her energy to scream and pout was drained from her when Topanga had come in to give her another dose of medicine, but it sure didn't stop her from trying.

"No mommy." She groaned weakly, pursing her lips tightly together and burying her face beneath the covers.

Topanga grew increasingly worried as she had checked on Phoebe again half an hour later, finding that only a few sips had been taken from her water and she sat with her fifteen more minutes, making sure that her temperature didn't rise and that she would drink at least one fourth more of her water. High temperatures could be dangerous for anyone but frightened Topanga more considering that Riley was more prone and sensitive to seizures as was Phoebe when their temperatures peaked higher than 103 degrees.

It was just forty minutes after Cory returned from his meeting to Topanga's relief, he had went upstairs to check on his children while Topanga gave Harper her first bath when he had found Riley and Auggie asleep in their beds, Maya vomiting in the bathroom, and after he had held her hair for five more minutes as she dry heaved over the toilet, he had made his way, relieved to find most of Phoebe's water gone (though he suspected she just spilled most of it).

He bent down, watching how the sweat rolled down her forehead when he pushed back her hair, and he ran immediately to the bathroom, grabbing the thermometer to check for any spike in her fever. His heart began to palpitate the second 103.8 degrees flashed on the screen, scrambling to run the faucet of the tub on the coldest temperature he could.

"Topanga!" He cries out, not even attempting to hide the fear in his voice from the other children.

Cory lifted his daughter from her bed, hustling her to the bathroom as his wife comes flying up the staircase, the fastest he had seen her move just ten days post-partum. She looked inquisitively at him until she saw Phoebe, and hurried down the stairs to fill the tub with ice from their ice maker, and call her pediatrician as well. Phoebe had not shown that she wasn't responding well to the high temperature as she seemed just as sick as the others, but when she had began to sweat it tipped her parents off, realizing that she was on the verge of seizing when her temperature was anything higher than one hundred and three.

Phoebe wailed as her mother stripped off her clothing and wriggled her into her bathing suit, lowering her gently into the tub up to her belly button and began wetting a washcloth, wringing the cold water over her body. She flailed her limbs as she attempted to resist the help, wanting nothing to do with the icy water on her skin, feeling her skin tingle as it became numb and struggled to understand why she was immersed under such brutal conditions. It pained Topanga to see her child screaming, tears racing down her beet red face, goosebumps forming on her arms though sweat rolled down her forehead.

"Phoebe, we only want you to feel better." Topanga consoles her shaking daughter.

Cory handed Topanga Phoebe's old yellow duck towel from underneath the sink, the one with the hood that Topanga draped over her head before snugly wrapping the rest of the towel around her body. Her parents hadn't even bothered to dress her, nor take her out of her towel, but instead loaded her up in their van and took her to urgent care where hopefully they could prescribe antibiotics and keep a close eye on her.

When they had returned at eleven that night with antibiotics, they put their daughter to bed with nothing more than a sheet covering her small body, her ceiling fan whirring above her to keep her cool, and the air vents in her room opened wide, as well as sliding teething rings that had been sitting in the fridge beneath her pillow case, keeping her face and body cool.

Topanga checked on the other kids before returning to bed, not finding Maya on the floor but rather in a sleeping bag besides Riley's bed, and Auggie asleep in his own. She sighed with relief, hoping that the next day would be better, unable to have been able to take a breath from her hectic new lifestyle since Harper had been born almost two weeks ago. She hadn't had a full night of sleep since she was seven months pregnant with Phoebe almost five years ago, and she anticipated this night to be much the same.

Cory found his wife passed out on the living room couch just minutes after she had gone to the bathroom to brush her teeth, and mentioned how she still needed to wake the kids to give them their medicine, as well as feed Harper who was four hours behind on her feedings. But upon finding her her covered her with the couch afghan, and proceeded up the steps to finish what she had intended to start.

 **-xxx-**

With everyone still under the weather the next day but Riley and Maya nonetheless improved from the day before, and Phoebe still sleeping when nine-thirty came around, Topanga laid back on the couch and fed her youngest while Auggie put together a puzzle on the table, rabbits and horses chewing on opposite ends of a carrot, one of Riley's childhood favorites. Auggie clearly felt better than the other two, and Maya was close behind him, milking her sickness for only a day further because she knew that eventually Topanga would insist that they leave their beds and do something to make them feel better.

It was while Topanga was baking chicken in the oven and frying vegetables on the stove that their doorbell rang and she heard Cory's footsteps, his loafers clicking against the hardwood floor, practically sprinting to the front door as if Shawn were here, except he seemed more if he was an animal protecting his food from prey.

"Lucas." He gasped, swinging the front door shut in his face at first sight.

"And Farkle, sir." He hears from behind the white front door, followed by the ringing of the doorbell.

Topanga hurries over to the front door, opening the door and smiling apologetically as she waves them in and gestures for them to sit at the table.

"The girls are still sick; But you gentlemen are welcome to stay for lunch."

Topanga invites them over as she reaches into the oven, pulling out the chicken and setting the hot glass casserole dish on top of the stove.

"So Mrs. M," Farkle mutters in between chewing, "Riley told me that Harper had quite an arrival."

Topanga smiles, not disclosing too much to the young teens but laughing as she remembers the eccentric arrival of her youngest and final child, realizing that God sometimes laughs at the plans she tries and makes herself for her life, when really it was him who was in control overall.

"It wasn't what we would have planned, that's for sure." Cory grumbles and Topanga jokingly nudges him.

"But she's here and she's safe and that's all we care about. And," She turns to Cory, "She's our final piece of our family puzzle." Topanga adds,smiling down at the child she now held in her arms.

Lucas and Farkle exchange looks, slightly scooting out from the table and setting their forks down, glancing up the staircase before looking at Topanga.

"Go, i'm sure they'd be happy to see you." Topanga smiles, holding her arm out to keep Cory behind her as he revels in annoyance.

As Farkle and Lucas climb the stairs and wander aimlessly down the hall looking for the room in which looked to be the girls', they stumble in to hear Riley in the bathroom and Maya retching into the toilet, her gagging echoing off the walls. They could faintly hear Riley comforting her, telling her to 'just breathe' and 'let her body do its thing', and that was when Lucas and Farkle looked to each other, hesitant to knock on the door, but doing so anyways.

"Maya? Riley? It's me, Lucas." He calls, waiting for a response.

"Farkle!" Farkle adds, feeling as if he was the 'fourth' wheel sometimes.

Inside the bathroom, Maya looks up from inside the bowl, letting her firm, white knuckled grip of the toilet seat go and wipes her face on her sleeve, looking to Riley in horror, realizing that Riley hadn't known of their little babysitting affair.

"Hu-hu...hurr!" Maya fake coughs, before shouting from inside, "I've got cow-fever; It's tipping the cows over everywhere. You'd better not come in hop-along." She coughs again, sounding unconvincing as Riley nudges her gently in the ribs, knowing she could do better than that.

While the boys stood outside the door, Lucas amusingly rolling his eyes towards Maya's sarcasm even in the face of sickness, Farkle looks down at the tug of a little hand on the brim of his shirt.

"Hey 'Bea!" He smiles, calmly bending down and reaching his arms out, receiving a hug from her end of the bargain, much to his surprise.

It was then that her face lit up like a Christmas tree, run-waddling towards Lucas and wrapping her body affectionately around his leg, giggling as he bent down and stroked her hair back from her face.

"C'mon, it's just a face! Does she have to find you appealing too?" Farkle groans, secretly longing for the same kind of enthusiasm towards him from the skittish and sometimes edgy, occasionally temperamental child.

Lucas, much to his surprise, is encouraged by the tugging at the bottom of his shirt and the outreaching of her arms to pick her up and he does so, hoisting her up over his stomach, resting his arms beneath her bottom as he stares into her brown eyes. She offers a toothy smile, one on the rare occasion that any of the Matthews' have seen except when she showed profound interest in someone or something. And that little girl had seemed to pick up on the fact that her sister had interest in him, insisting for the past few months that she cling to him, every since the babysitting mishap.

Lucas flips Phoebe on her stomach in his arms, showing her how to spread her arms out like the wings of an airplane as he soared her around the room, smiling brightly while the little girl's face lit up with joy, an expression anyone rarely saw that it seemed only a few people could provoke. It was then that Riley exited the bathroom, feeling her heart leap from her chest the moment she saw Lucas with Phoebe, the small child now giggling on the floor beside him, a whole new side to her as she twirled his shoe laces curiously around her fingers.

"Lucas, hello." She flirts as she stutters in surprise, cringing at the middle school side of her she still harbored deep inside.

There it was: The side of Lucas she would fall in love with all over again, but little did Riley know that Maya also found it intriguing, realizing that if their hearts would beat for the same thing, it would be their shared and profound love for children with special needs, more specifically, Phoebe.

"Lucas, careful. She spiked a fever last night and she's still not feeling all that great i'm sure." Riley consults him, even though she was unable to hide the smile plastered on her face.

"You're not feeling too good now, are you darlin'?" He sympathetically consoles Phoebe, bending down to her level as she beams in his face, grabbing his cheeks with both hands.

They could see it in both their eyes how much the two friends cared for eachother, even if Phoebe didn't really understand, all she knew was that she felt comfort around him.

"Why are you here, Huckleberry?" Maya grumbles as she stumbles out of the bathroom half asleep, and collapsing onto her bed, rolling over and covering her face with her pillow, trying to ride out a wave of nausea.

Lucas sits in the makeshift bay window, watching as Phoebe crawled up on his lap and he assisted her, lifting her up beneath her arms and sets her comfortable in his lap, wrapping his muscular arms around her small frame. Her chubby face nuzzles into his shoulder, reaching the finger on her left hand up and tracing his jawline curiously, Lucas only laughing before looking back at the girls, Riley on the foot of Maya's bed, waiting for Lucas to speak.

"You're mom invited us."

"And my father's okay with that?" Riley asks in disbelief.

"No, he doesn't know. But she said she thinks you girls needed to get out of the house for awhile so I thought we'd go for a walk. Just Riley and I since Maya seems pretty sick."

Maya first narrows her eyes at him, glaring straight into his nervous grin before she lifts up her head and grins at him, shaking her head as Lucas anticipates another crack at his Texas heritage.

"What? Did you saddle up your ol' boy and ride here on the pony express, Ranger Rick, Bucky mcboing-boing, Huh-hurr, Huh-Hurr?"

Lucas smiles, glancing from Maya to Riley and shaking his head, Maya instantly realizing that she will never, no matter how hard she tried, would get to him and he always put thought into their little game.

He had tipped his pretend hat the last time she made that joke, pretending his truck was a pony, and looked to Maya, before smirking and said, "Hold on tight, Miss", watching in amusement as she shuddered at the fact that she hadn't got to him.

Riley excitedly jumps from the foot of the bed, grabbing her jacket and heading towards the door, looking back and waiting for her friends. It was then that she dug into her jacket, realizing that she had been missing her ten dollars, and headed downstairs quickly to retrieve money so that they could go to the ice cream shop downtown.

"Why'd you really come Huckleberry? Because I know Riley ain't it and Topanga didn't invite you when we're sick. You just can't help yourself, huh?" Maya interrogates.

"Why does everything have to have a reason with you Maya? And by the looks of things, you and I both know you aren't as sick as you're saying you are." He suspects, interrogating her back.

"Is that what you think's going on here, Ranger Rick?"

"Smart as a horse,strong as one too." He smiles, leaning in closer to Maya as she sits in the window besides him, Phoebe crawling into her lap.

Maya leans towards Lucas, twisting his shirt with her fist as she pulls him in closer, looking eye to eye with him she narrows her eyes and breathes furiously, the angst in her eyes something serious.

"Listen to me, Moral Compass; She doesn't know, she doesn't need to. You tell her why you're really here and we both go down. Now do you want to ruin Princess dancing sunshine's innocent world where she sees you and her together and Josh and I, or do you wanna ruin her little fantasy with our secret?"

Lucas smiles nervously, anticipating Riley to come back any second and find his shirt raveled up in Maya's fist, their noses literally inches away from each other's, and they laugh before Maya let's go of her white knuckled grip on his sweatshirt, pushing him back before looking down at Phoebe, realizing her face scrunched up, fish faced with her palms pressed against her chubby cheeks.

Maya laughs, failing to noticing Lucas staring at her before grabbing her head, turning her to face him, Phoebe acting as if she were a match maker all along, whenever she was around the two, she was like the campfire that pushed them together. It was then that Maya leaned, her lips landing on Lucas's for a solid three second before either one of them pulled away, staring at each other in disbelief of how that could have been possible.

Before either one of them says a word, Riley walks in, gesturing for Lucas to get up and come, ready for their walk together. It was then that Lucas began to get up that Phoebe held out her hand, squealing at Lucas.

"You too princess?" He asks before grabbing her hand in his and kissing the top of it, watching as Phoebe blushed nervously.

"Alright 'Bea, back off my man." Riley smiles, picking her sister up and hugging her before heading down the stairs, Lucas and now Maya following along.

After all, Lucas wouldn't feel right about talking to Riley alone, especially after kissing Maya, thus rekindling the 'love triangle' that had been resolved two years before with the appearance of 'Uncle Boing', everyone agreeing to only be friends despite knowing that it may never work out that way in the future.


	18. A Matthews' version of 'Home Alone'

Topanga felt as if she had hit her personal limit of frustration with not only her children's recent lack of helpfulness around the house, but the struggle of secret postpartum depression she felt herself try to rise over everyday without success. Of course she was strong and fierce, but she didn't feel like she used to, more overwhelmed but not nearly as stress as when Phoebe's diagnosis first came to light.

What finally pushed Topanga over the edge was the rebellious teenage friend of her daughter, who whole "Maya Hart-tedly' encouraged Riley to volunteer to help her mother, allowing for a date night for the parents, but Riley had foolishly decided to put her want of binge watching "Green Planet Diaries", clearly not learning from the first time she had made the poor decision.

"Riley? Why have you locked yourself in your room when everyone else is downstairs cleaning?" Topanga demands to know as she shuts Riley's laptop, watching as her daughter's glare does not shift from the screen.

"Mom, it'll take five minutes to finish the chores." Riley brushes off.

"Then why not do them now?" She demands again.

"Mom, what you do is easy! You've gotten so good at helping watch out for us and for the younger ones, chores should just be another thing you can do no problem!"

Topanga narrows her eyes at her daughter, keeping the rage forming inside her from becoming obvious as she begins to mischievously smile, an idea forming from the back of her mind.

"Riley? Have you ever seen the movie, 'Home Alone?'.

"Of course."

"Well we're gonna play a little game that's similar. Your father and I...Cory come back!" She pauses, watching as her husband leaves, wanting no part of another game invented by his wife.

Topanga gestures to Cory and he hands her a wrinkled twenty dollar bill that had clearly gone through the wash. She then slides it into the hands of her daughter, watching her eyes curiously and fearfully look to her mother, groaning at what could possibly be next.

"You and Maya, home alone with Phoebe and Auggie for five days. Harper will come with your father and I to the upcoming conference for my work next week and you guys will be on your own. You both will be in charge of budgeting the money, keeping the receipt on all groceries you buy, keeping the house clean, and most importantly, handling Phoebe's meltdowns."

"Mom, you're crazy!"

"No, what's crazy is that you have the idea in your head of what i'm doing isn't hard. That the idea of sitting home with Phoebe and Harper all day while you're at school isn't what it's cracked up to be."

Cory groans as he follows his furious wife from their daughter's bedroom, and Riley sighs, turning the green paper bill in her hands before folding it and sliding it into her nightstand drawer.

"Hey Riles? What was that about?" Maya wonders as she walks in shortly after seeing Topanga storming down the hall.

"For the next five days, call me 'mommy'." Riley groans, rolling back on her bed.

 **-XXX-**

 _Day 1: She's really set the bar high for us…_

Riley keeps a journal under her bed, logging their adventures of this week in a secret journal, praying no one sees it, especially her mother, waiting with a big bucket of "I told you so" if things didn't go as planned, or if she knew Riley's journal was keeping track of their perils.

 _Mom gave Maya the keys last night before their late night flight to both our house and to the minivan. I'm failing to see why they would entrust Maya but only after a mile long set of rules is Maya allowed to drive under the condition that its for emergencies, and that they'd check the miles when they returned to see if we exceeded what they said would be acceptable._

 _Katy is allowed to pop in on us once, but since she's come down with the flu, our elderly neighbor (Who i'm pretty sure has never left his house) was supposed to check on us but never came._

 _We're praying here that things go well, and we're hoping that Phoebe's melt down from last night does not affect her day today, or that it won't return tonight._

Riley set her pencil inside the notebook and slid it into her drawer, sighing as she laid back restlessly on her bed, anticipating the worst for the next few days, but her pride was clouding up her judgement, not wanting to let her mom utter those infamous words of "I told you so".

Her screams had filled the halls late the night before with uneasiness and tension as Riley rolled over and the clock had only read _12:03._ " _Night terrors."_ She assumed as she sat up and pressed the bottoms of her feet on the soft floor, leading into the cold and dark wooden floored hallway before her.

Phoebe was a beautiful mess as her curly hair laid sweaty against her forehead and her brown eyes the size of saucers filled with anxiety, rubbing softly her blue and teal blanket against her right cheek. She screamed as she sat hunched in the corner of her bed against the wall, her face as angry as a bear woken from hibernation, and as swollen as a bee sting. Her chubby cheeks puffed out in fear, her fingers unconsciously searching for her mouth in the dark.

"Bumble 'Bea," Riley soothingly talks to her as she pulls the light of Phoebe's dresser lamp, crawling into bed beside her, "Can you use your words to tell me what upset you?"

Phoebe stares blankly into her nightlight beside her doorway, and the fear in her eyes told a whole other story, the dream replaying itself in her mind, though she could not verbally express what it had entailed, not remembering the real vivid details.

Phoebe endured severe anxiety along with her night terrors, some nights unable to fall asleep until the sun had first peeked its head in the sky, and even then she would only stay asleep for a few hours. It was what some would call, "The terrible twos" still at four years old.

She didn't suffer from anxiety, that would only indicate that it had control of her. Rather, she just spent her life 'learning to live life' with anxiety and autism, not allowing it to take control of her life or ignoring it, but facing everyday knowing that its there, but isn't necessarily going to come out from the shadows. She would face everyday in the unknown, but ready to fight back whatever the day had to give her.

Phoebe only screeched loud when Riley had tried to lift her into her lap, realizing that the best thing was not to touch the child, but give her verbal comfort in her presence. Prayer was often what Topanga would begin their night with, followed by various stories in attempt to soothe her back to sleep. But when the stories didn't work, Riley felt tears sting the back of her eyes, a new respect for her mother despite not wanting to give in.

"Mapaya!" Phoebe screams, Riley curious to where she learned to pronounce such a word despite her disability to speak clearly.

What Riley didn't know is that one of Maya's favorite childhood songs became Phoebe favorites, the catchy, rhyming, alliterations also helped build Phoebe's speech. She now called Maya "Maya Papaya" or 'Mapaya', since she could barely pronounce the words separately.

" _Maya, Maya, Papaya, fee, fi-fo-paya…"_ Maya would sing to the overwhelmed girl, making her giggle a little bit and intriguing her interest in how the words would sound with her name when Maya sang the name with her song.

Phoebe slowly calmed, rocking back and forth in her sister's arms and shaking while Riley moved in the motion with her, helping soothe the worries that she couldn't verbalize, only express through tears. The rest of the night had been rough, and when they thought it couldn't get worse, Phoebe had run out of diapers around four that morning, having an accident in the sheets of Riley's bed, in the midst of potty training disaster.

"We can take my dad's old car." Riley suggests, looking over to a sound asleep Phoebe now lying on the floor with nothing more than her semi-soiled afghan.

Riley wouldn't dare to try and tug that blanket from her, not while she was awake and certainly not after only being back asleep for a few short hours. She would give her sister a bath later after their trip, or could have Auggie watch her for an hour while they ran back to town. Unfortunately, leaving her with her brother wasn't an option, Phoebe's fear of men something that made it difficult until she really grew to trust them. Auggie really loved his sister but respected that she had felt warmed up to him at sometimes, but the times she would voluntarily play would be cherished by the young boy.

Riley and Maya walked down to Auggie's room, gently shaking him awake and watching as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, groggily staring at his sister and fixating her focus on just her face, filled with worry and exhaustion.

"Auggie, we're leaving for the store. Could you watch Phoebe for about an hour? She's probably gonna be asleep through this, I got her to take Melatonin around one this morning." Riley pleas.

"Taking her really isn't an option." Maya adds, sweetly smiling in an attempt to get him to agree.

Afraid to wake her, Auggie moves his blanket and pillow into Riley's room, curling up on the floor near his sister, wrapping an arm gently around her side and she subconsciously curls into him, feeling the body heat from another being comforting but she shook despite feeling hot.

Maya grabs the keys and Riley stares unsurely back at her, unsure whether at this early hour if Maya was fit to drive through the dark and on a few hours of sleep, Maya taking over when Riley felt on the verge of a meltdown herself, heartbroken at the loud, unsure cries of her sister wondering _Where_ in the world and _Why_ her parents would leave them.

The two buckle up, neither one of them really up for the drive, and honestly if it wasn't for their intense love for Phoebe and seeing her happy they wouldn't be out for diapers for anyone else. But they knew very well that Phoebe wouldn't take underwear as an option, hating the itchy tags and fabric bands around them that left marks on her waist. So there they were, _4:33 a.m,_ out venturing for diapers for an overstimulated, overwhelmed and probably very confused and scared four year old.

At a glance, Riley can see a pair of headlights flash at her, winding around the curvy back road and scaring the two girls awake, Riley subconsciously pressing the brakes almost as an instinct, slowing down and taking the time to turn her brights back on once the car was gone. Her lights reflected off the trees lining the road, seeing little insects and small mammals becoming awake at dawn.

Riley, despite being an excellent student, happened to be the worst driver of the two, having to pull in between the yellow lines of the parking spot several times before aligning her wheels along the line on the drivers side, leaving plenty of room on Maya's side, and still far enough over on RIley's without reaching over the line.

" _Ironic, isn't it."_ Maya thought to herself, wondering how she could be a bad student in school, the rebel child, Riley often keeping her in line, yet when it came to driving, Riley trusted Maya more than herself on the road.

It felt eerie being the only two at the convenience store, being there right as it opened at five that morning, and looking to the old, grumpy looking cashier giving an unfriendly look as they pass by, as if he was disappointed to have customers intrude on his alone time right as the store opened.

Maya wanders off, selecting a box of tampons for herself and pushing them under her arm before meeting Riley at the end of the aisle. Riley looks to Maya in disbelief, shaking her head.

"Phoebe doesn't use these! We came for diapers."

"There for me Riles. Remember when we had that talk about our first per-"

"Ahh, okay whatever peaches. We talk about almost everything, but this is your business." Riley squirms as Maya laughs unsurprised at Riley's attempt to cut off the conversation.

Maya grew up in a home where it wasn't awkward to talk of these things. In fact, after her father left her mother had sent her six year old daughter to the drugstore to grab pads for her mother, and when she became of age Maya was left buying for her mother and herself, replacing the ones under the sink without saying anything to her mother, it never being a question as it was the one thing Maya was mature about.

 _Topanga was the first to know about Maya's first time getting it, after all, she was the one who gave her the talk since her mother and her had seemed to have an unspoken pact that when it did happen, that Maya was to ask and use what she needed, yet she felt compelled and more safe to talk to Topanga._

" _Congrats, young woman!" Topanga had said, taking Maya aback at her laid back attitude and relieved that there wasn't much question._

" _It's nothing to be ashamed of." Cory assured her, making Maya blush at the fact that he had overheard the conversation._

 _What Topanga and Cory hadn't known was that Maya had suspected of the news of Harper way before they had even announced it. She and Topanga were within a week of each other, and when Maya had gone to borrow from Topanga and realized that there was a whole box left, she grew suspicious. Topanga always grew irritated when Maya had failed to mention that they needed to be replaced, but this time she hadn't complained, but this time Maya had replaced them only to find that two weeks later they hadn't been used._

 _Maya had been the one who had been with Topanga at the store to pick up the test, and when they had returned home, Phoebe had not been in sight and it had been forgotten about, laying on the counter, used._

 _Phoebe had disappeared before she could finish looking at it, and when Maya saw it she smiled cheek to cheek. Whatever had made Topanga decided that her daughter's best friend was the perfect choice to help her surprise her husband, she didn't know, but obviously she knew better than to tell Riley, everything overdramatic and over the top with the teenage brunette._

" _Where are we going, Mrs. Matthews'?" Maya remembers asking, filled with suspicion and surprise that she had asked her to tag along on her mystery trip._

 _Topanga had even stopped to puke on the side of the road turning into the parking lot of the store, unbuckling faster than her car could stop, pushing it into park but not waiting for it to slow down, thrusting her door open and hitting a pole on the side of her car she hadn't realized was there. Did Cory want the good news or bad news first, she didn't know, but at least if she was pregnant she would have him in a good place before explaining the small dent in their minivan._

" _How are you, Mrs. M?" Maya offered, her blue eyes wide in horror and surprise._

Needless to say, after Maya and Riley had returned to the house, Phoebe had been producing blood-curdling screams that bounced off the walls inside the house when they returned. They found her lying wet, face down on the bathroom floor, Auggie soaked in bubbles and water as they realized that Phoebe had been the one to make a mess. Auggie had tried to lift his sister into the tub only for the child to kick and scream at him.

She had been splashing water at the peeling paint on the ceiling, streaking the mirror, and making the floor into a lake as he had lowered her in. It became obvious that the water hadn't been to her liking. Maya was the first to grab her tattered old towel and lay it on her back before picking her up and cuddling her in her arms, snugly but comfortably wrapping the towel around the rest of her small body as she carried her out.

"Auggie, what happened?" Riley asks, dumbfounded that a girl her size could make such an awfully large mess.

"I'm not thinking she wanted to take a bath." He mutters sarcastically, receiving a small and amused grin from his sister before leaving the room.

" _And regardless of what happened in this household on our first night alone, it hadn't meant that after Phoebe's successful five hour nap that things would go our way later that day or according to plan. That had became an actual fact of life any day, alone or not."_

 _Sincerely,_

 _Riley "Too big for her britches" Matthews._


End file.
